A Solstice is Upon Us
A tiny planet that some call Earth, hurtles and wobbles along through space and time. There it goes. Smart people recognize a pattern. Yes. Hold it, the smart holler, this tiny planet was in almost this exact same situation last year. Hey! We made it again.
Yes. We made it again. We made it again, despite more people and generally stupider people than ever before . Yes. Sadly, the people increase by leaps and bounds. But the stupidity increases super exponentially.
Like here’s how stupid the people are. Consider energy. Where is most of the handy energy stored? Did you guess, people fat? What about fatter babies? Did you take into account how much untapped energy fatter babies store these days?
Course not. You didn’t think of any of that.
Yet Druids are here to think for you, or actually, instead of you. Yes. What needs to happen, in terms of energy, is we need to tap that handiest of all renewable sources, people fat. Like how jolly would that be!
Let’s say a family of four with plenty of fat stored up waddles out to the garage. There they go waddling along. Once they get to the garage they load themselves into their Humvee Tactical Version. But when they go to start up the great vehicle, the great gas tank is empty. Boohoo! The fatties won’t get any exercise today, riding in their car.
Yet wait! It’s easy as hooking up a seat belt. All the fatties need do to is gas up with people fat. That’s right. The car is equipped with fat sucker tubes and an energy converter box that automatically converts people fat into Humvee fuel. Anon, the tank is full to sloshing and away they go.
Just another energy source in addition to all the others.
Yes. We made it again. We made it again, despite more people and generally stupider people than ever before . Yes. Sadly, the people increase by leaps and bounds. But the stupidity increases super exponentially.
Like here’s how stupid the people are. Consider energy. Where is most of the handy energy stored? Did you guess, people fat? What about fatter babies? Did you take into account how much untapped energy fatter babies store these days?
Course not. You didn’t think of any of that.
Yet Druids are here to think for you, or actually, instead of you. Yes. What needs to happen, in terms of energy, is we need to tap that handiest of all renewable sources, people fat. Like how jolly would that be!
Let’s say a family of four with plenty of fat stored up waddles out to the garage. There they go waddling along. Once they get to the garage they load themselves into their Humvee Tactical Version. But when they go to start up the great vehicle, the great gas tank is empty. Boohoo! The fatties won’t get any exercise today, riding in their car.
Yet wait! It’s easy as hooking up a seat belt. All the fatties need do to is gas up with people fat. That’s right. The car is equipped with fat sucker tubes and an energy converter box that automatically converts people fat into Humvee fuel. Anon, the tank is full to sloshing and away they go.
Just another energy source in addition to all the others.
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, June 21, 2010
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