Does the Goddess Intentionally Deceive Us?

I know Sugarplum. Let's sneak in and see whut ol' Crumby has been lookin' at in that microscope.

Oh Sweetiepie, goodness gracious. Do you think we should? Crumby or Ray might get mad at us. And what if Rayetta caught us nosing in there? Yikes!

Oh come on. They be all out back, fussin' with Rayetta's cows. I seen 'em. Don't transmigrate into a chicken on me.

Well, all righty then, but ye look while I keep watch fer Rayetta.
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These two young Tabby Labbers, Sugarplum and Sweetiepie, are visitin' from the Joke Factory where they have received scanty formal instruction in the botanical arts. Consequently, these particular young Tabby Labbers, especially Sweetiepie, are fixin' to get a bad scare, from lookin' in that microscope.



Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Yikes!

Run Sugarplum! There's monsters in the microscope!
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A while later.

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My goodness gracious sakes, Sugarplum, Sweetiepie, what in the Name of the Goddess are you doing way up in that Fraxinus pensylvanica?

All righty then you two. I see right through those coon skins and you better spell what you are doing up in that tree if you know what's good, fer ye.

If you don't squeak up purty quick I, Hope am going to call upon Rayetta.

Yikers Hope. They be monsters all over the Cow Barn. Sweetiepie seen 'em.

Nonsense. No monsters inhabit the Cow Barn. Where did you espy these alledged monsters Sweetiepie.

I aint tellin'.

Now Sweetiepie. You won't get in any trouble. Tell Hope where the monsters are.

Noper. I aint tellin'.

Sweetiepie, please tell Hope where ye saw the monsters, I aint so comfortable up in this here tree.

We aint gonna get in trouble, Hope?

No Sweetiepie. Now climb down here and tell Aint Hope where the monsters are.

All righty then.
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Hope feels out Ray.
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Ray. How do you and Crumby feel about Tabby Labbers foolin' around in the laboratory, theoretically?

Huh? Oh we don't care, natural selection and all, ye know. Why?

Sugarplum and Sweetiepie in particular sneaked in here and looked in the microscope and now they say there are monsters in the microscope.

Well there could be. Let's have a looksee. Hmmmm. Naw, that's just Euphorbia lata and a stray stellate hair from some other little wonder stuck to it. Boy howdy, if Dr. Swineherd knew Crumby was puttin' multiple specimens in the same collectin' bags and thus contaminatin' the vestitures, ol' Badgemagus and Crumby would go round and round with a wet plant press strap mediatin' their relationship.

So the Tabby Labbers aint in any trouble?

Naw. But Crumby may be if a little birdie was to sing in Badgemagus' good ear about this specimen contamination that is apparently runnin' amok at the CB.

Mercy Ray! You wouldn't do such a dastardly deed, would you?

Naw. But Crumby don't know I wouldn't.
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Ray and Crumby resume their ASS work.
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Say Crumby take a look at this specimen.

Yikes! That stellate hair aint supposed to be on that particular specimen. I must have collected this one very early on in my trainin'. Let's see here, June 13, 1996, Taylor County. Good Goddess, that was the day all my freezer bags were carried off in a wind of relentless velocity and never heard from agin. I must have been forced, of dire necessity, to cram all my specimens in a pitiful few freezer bags, indeed.

Yepper. That sounds about right. But ye know what Dr. Swineherd might have to spell on that line of reasonin', don't ye Crumby?

Er, what ere ye gettin' at Ray?

Oh nothin', just ferget about it. I'm sure he'd understand about them freezer bags blowin' off.

Ray, I'm gonna let this pass, for I am temporarily free of sin and wish to maintain this current blissful state fer the nonce, but if ye sing to Badgemagus about me bein' a grabbagger, ye will live to regret it.
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The Spurge du Jour
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And never is heard a di-spurge-ing word and the sap is all milky all day.

General applause interspersed with animal noises follow the conclusion of a vocal duet featuring both Sugarplum and Sweetiepie on the vocals.

That was mighty fine young ladies. How'd ye young Tabby Labbers learn such an interestin' tune?

Aint Hope taught us Red, right before this here spruge-o-rama.

Well if that don't beat all. All righty then. How bout a spurge now Crumby?

All righty then. And them Tabby Labbers were truly amazing. Jeez Louise. Where are them spurge pictures? Ray! Where's the spurge pictures?

Comin' right up Crumby.

All righty then. Here off to the east we have a shot of this one's leaves and flowers. See how hairy it gets around the flowers! The second one is, er, er, er, Ray, what the heck is that?

That's a seed Crumby.

It is?

Yepper, it's a young seed.

Ye couldn't find any maturer ones?

Noper.

We aint got any more specimens of this one?

Noper.

Dern.