Saturday, January 20, 2007

Ray's Thought for the Day - It's a Mammonite Town

Meantime, while Hope is vacationing at the CB, and the DNS is short-handed, the AP reports that Congress Avenue between 6th and 8th is closed, due to bird die off. But fear not, experts from the Chamber of Commerce are at, or maybe in the general vicinity of, the quarantined bird die off area in downtown Austin.

Commentary by the Ark Druid on January 8 of the Julian (Hope is a Trooper), or Day 19 of the Druid Calendar, DY 1.
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Yepper, the Chamber of Commerce was caught off guard and the story went out to the curious everywhere. But the Chamber of Commerce experts have now solved the bird die off mystery. The Chamber of of Commerce conclusions are:

1. Those dead birds are not a menace to the public.

2. Those dead birds died of a combination of too many parasites, no food in their stomachs and a nocturnal temperature drop from the 50s to the 40s.

3. Those dead birds picked up all those parasites somewhere else and just came to Congress Avenue to roost.

4. Closing Congress Avenue and its near environs was justified because that day was the first day for firing up the State Legislature.

The Druid conclusions are:

1. Those dead birds; rock doves, great-tailed grackles and English sparrows, were poisoned.

2. Whoever poisoned those birds was very surprised by the response.

Generally speaking, it may be OK to poison birds so long as you get a permit. A permit, besides allowing you to poison the birds, also indicates that the proper authorities may not be surprised when all the birds you poisoned turn up dead in a public place. In these grim times of likely attempts by terrorists to poison our urban bird populations, our responsible Chamber of Commerce is liable to freak out, and close your business for the day if you do not notify them through the bird poisoning permit process.

What if that bird poison had wound up in the state legislator food chain? That could happen, maybe, since the state legislators are known to browse on Congress Avenue. Then how would you feel, bird poisoner. You have killed a bunch of state legislators with bird poison. Many shall say you are a very bad person. Those dead state legislators spent lots of money on Congress Avenue, perking up the economy, and now you have poisoned them, and they are dead.

Mercy! If you are detected as the perpetrator and found guilty of such a heinous crime, will the judge give you 50 dollars and let you go? Maybe, maybe not.
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Yea! My delcious cinnamon bun that I was unable to partake of last week, arrived this week. So I enjoyed it twice as much.

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