US Culture Today - General Peter Principle
A Newsy News Interview Provided Especially Intermittently to the US Home Audience -Courtesy of the Druid News Service (DNS) - Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, Reporting -
An Interview with General Peter Principle
Hello regular people and boys out there in the US Home Audience, eager beavers for newsy news. This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, DNS. Today, I have a very special guest on the show. This special guest is the very famous six star general, General Peter Principle, the greatest ever of the Americano generalissimos, maybe ever, maybe. Goodness gracious sakes alive! Just look at you General Principle! Can everyone in the home audience see how the camera lights reflect off the General’s bangles and spangles? Goodness! Sometime, General, when we have a few extra hours, you must come back on the show and tell US how you got all those bangles and spangles reflecting so audaciously from what would be an otherwise drab uniform. Goodness gracious! But let me just ask you about one of those medals. What service to US does that big gold one with the crossed golf clubs indicate?
Yes Maam. Attention US home audience. You civilians of the US populace may not be aware that the competition for six star general is intense. There are thousands of generals in our great big military, all of them competing for the elusive sixth star. So if you are one of those generals, and you have any gumption or ambition, the Crossed Golf Clubs decoration indicates a step in the right direction. A general, such as me, proudly sporting the Crossed Golf Clubs shows everyone that, in the absence of any real military action, a general can still make good progress on the golf course.
OK General Principle. I can see that, all righty then. So are you saying that the most important job of a general is playing golf?
Yes Maam. But like any activity that allows for forward progress, it is not that simple. You have to play golf with the US civilian leadership to get ahead. That means, you have to let them win.
Goodness General Principle, when you played with the Kinglet, Chitlin and Associates, and even old miserable Rumpler, did you always let them win?
That is affirmative, Maam.
Goodness General Principle, was Rumpler wearing underwear on his head when you let Rumpler win?
That is affirmative, Maam.
Goodness! Hmmm. Well General Principle, you must have seen some real action off the golf course some time or other. Tell the US home audience about that.
Yes Maam. I can proudly state that I have smoked a few Panamanians and Dominicans in my day, plus a good many of those miserable Iraqis. But of course, smoking miserable defenseless peasants and blowing up their miserable infrastructure, then having to build it back, for Christ’s Sakes, is not what I was trained up for. So I am looking forward to the day when I can get into a real war, like WWII, where I can enjoy real battles like I learned about in school.
Gracious sakes General Principle! Thank you very much for that informative short history of your career path to the Sixth Star. Well US Home Audience, we are out of air time. Goddess Bless those who deserve it, and everyone else, Watch Out for the Wickerman!!!!
An Interview with General Peter Principle
Hello regular people and boys out there in the US Home Audience, eager beavers for newsy news. This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, DNS. Today, I have a very special guest on the show. This special guest is the very famous six star general, General Peter Principle, the greatest ever of the Americano generalissimos, maybe ever, maybe. Goodness gracious sakes alive! Just look at you General Principle! Can everyone in the home audience see how the camera lights reflect off the General’s bangles and spangles? Goodness! Sometime, General, when we have a few extra hours, you must come back on the show and tell US how you got all those bangles and spangles reflecting so audaciously from what would be an otherwise drab uniform. Goodness gracious! But let me just ask you about one of those medals. What service to US does that big gold one with the crossed golf clubs indicate?
Yes Maam. Attention US home audience. You civilians of the US populace may not be aware that the competition for six star general is intense. There are thousands of generals in our great big military, all of them competing for the elusive sixth star. So if you are one of those generals, and you have any gumption or ambition, the Crossed Golf Clubs decoration indicates a step in the right direction. A general, such as me, proudly sporting the Crossed Golf Clubs shows everyone that, in the absence of any real military action, a general can still make good progress on the golf course.
OK General Principle. I can see that, all righty then. So are you saying that the most important job of a general is playing golf?
Yes Maam. But like any activity that allows for forward progress, it is not that simple. You have to play golf with the US civilian leadership to get ahead. That means, you have to let them win.
Goodness General Principle, when you played with the Kinglet, Chitlin and Associates, and even old miserable Rumpler, did you always let them win?
That is affirmative, Maam.
Goodness General Principle, was Rumpler wearing underwear on his head when you let Rumpler win?
That is affirmative, Maam.
Goodness! Hmmm. Well General Principle, you must have seen some real action off the golf course some time or other. Tell the US home audience about that.
Yes Maam. I can proudly state that I have smoked a few Panamanians and Dominicans in my day, plus a good many of those miserable Iraqis. But of course, smoking miserable defenseless peasants and blowing up their miserable infrastructure, then having to build it back, for Christ’s Sakes, is not what I was trained up for. So I am looking forward to the day when I can get into a real war, like WWII, where I can enjoy real battles like I learned about in school.
Gracious sakes General Principle! Thank you very much for that informative short history of your career path to the Sixth Star. Well US Home Audience, we are out of air time. Goddess Bless those who deserve it, and everyone else, Watch Out for the Wickerman!!!!
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, April 29, 2007
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