Hoar Frost A Comin', Mammy!
The weather forecast is for serious cold starting tonight. The forecasters, sometimes known as foreskinners, are predicting the coldest temperatures in these parts since 1996. Why, the temperature could dip below freezing even in downtown Austink if what the foreskinners are predicting is true. Such a low temperature would be unprecedented for babies through 14 year olds that have spent their entire miserable natural lives in downtown Austink. Mercy!
Hmm. Maybe that's what former President Bushnoid meant when he was always crying about this or that unprecedented phenomena. Maybe, he meant the event was unprecedented like for toddlers or babies. Yeah. That's what he meant. Jeez Louise! Crumby never understood the Bushnoid until now. But now, suddenly the Bushnoid makes sense.
Anyway, Red decided to take the foreskinners seriously. So this morning, Red made Ray and Crumby unhook all the water hoses and tie up all the exposed pipes in old underwear.* That's one thing about the CB. We have plenty of old underwear that we keep for just such an occasion as a once in two decades serious hard freeze. Alas though, no one could find the kite string. But that was OK because Crumby substituted a roll of yellow flagging that never got used for flagging because yellow is one of the colors that is suck ass invisible in the wild and consequently of no use for flagging. But yellow flagging does fine as a kite string sub.
Man alive! The foreskin is for freezes like for three or maybe four days running. So there is a possibility, a possibilty only mind you, that the frost weed, which has already gone off four times, displaying a lovely ice sculpture each time, may go off three or four more times. That would be incredible and I bet a documented world record thus making history. Crumby will be famous, famous and rich, rich beyond his wildest dreams.
*The meaning here is that the oustiside pipes were wrapped with old underwear, not that Ray and Crumby wore old underwear over their pipes while wrapping the outside pipes. Yikes!
Hmm. Maybe that's what former President Bushnoid meant when he was always crying about this or that unprecedented phenomena. Maybe, he meant the event was unprecedented like for toddlers or babies. Yeah. That's what he meant. Jeez Louise! Crumby never understood the Bushnoid until now. But now, suddenly the Bushnoid makes sense.
Anyway, Red decided to take the foreskinners seriously. So this morning, Red made Ray and Crumby unhook all the water hoses and tie up all the exposed pipes in old underwear.* That's one thing about the CB. We have plenty of old underwear that we keep for just such an occasion as a once in two decades serious hard freeze. Alas though, no one could find the kite string. But that was OK because Crumby substituted a roll of yellow flagging that never got used for flagging because yellow is one of the colors that is suck ass invisible in the wild and consequently of no use for flagging. But yellow flagging does fine as a kite string sub.
Man alive! The foreskin is for freezes like for three or maybe four days running. So there is a possibility, a possibilty only mind you, that the frost weed, which has already gone off four times, displaying a lovely ice sculpture each time, may go off three or four more times. That would be incredible and I bet a documented world record thus making history. Crumby will be famous, famous and rich, rich beyond his wildest dreams.
*The meaning here is that the oustiside pipes were wrapped with old underwear, not that Ray and Crumby wore old underwear over their pipes while wrapping the outside pipes. Yikes!
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, January 06, 2010
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