Oh My Goddess I Can’t Tell You How Hard It Is!!!!
Recently, Crumby was asked, Have you considered collecting again?
Hmm. Despite lots of public bravado or even daring-do, Crumby never liked collecting plants, much less bees. That’s because collecting is murder.
Yet collecting (murder most foul) is a great temptation. Here’s why. Murder, I mean collecting, allows the murderer, I mean collector, easy access to the helpless yet dead victim. Imagine for a second, the photographic possibilities.
OK. Say you have just murdered a bee in the usual way. Now, you have a freshly dead bee. You can now take that bee and pose it anyway you want. If you have plenty of equipment, you can take all kinds of personal detail pictures of your bee. Then, you can easily share those naughty pictures on the web. Goodness gracious!
Plus, with a helpless yet dead victim at your disposal, it is relatively easier to key that victim out without getting stung. Also, a person can take that dead victim around to museums where it can be compared to other miserable victims. Holy Hindu Cow! The misery, the agony. Jeez Louise!
So the answer to the question, Has Crumby considered collecting again?, is, yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes. Mercy! Crumby wants to kill them all. Yes. Crumby wants to net all those elusive little fuckers. After that, off they go to the killing jar.
On the other hand, Crumby vividly recalls the aroma of his killing jar post stink bugs. Oh My Goddess! What smells worse than a killing jar that the stink bugs have got in? Nothing. Nothing smells worse than that.
Crumby may have waited too long. Crumby the killer may no longer be an option. Why? Easy that, Crumby can smell everything these days whereas in former times, Crumby could smell nothing. But before Crumby could smell nothing, Crumby could smell everything, including the awful aroma of stink bug death in the killing jar. Barf!
It's like the Zen bullshit. First you see the mole hill. Then you don't see the mole hill. Then, once you achieve whatever, you can see that the mole hill is actually a mole hill.
Hmm. Despite lots of public bravado or even daring-do, Crumby never liked collecting plants, much less bees. That’s because collecting is murder.
Yet collecting (murder most foul) is a great temptation. Here’s why. Murder, I mean collecting, allows the murderer, I mean collector, easy access to the helpless yet dead victim. Imagine for a second, the photographic possibilities.
OK. Say you have just murdered a bee in the usual way. Now, you have a freshly dead bee. You can now take that bee and pose it anyway you want. If you have plenty of equipment, you can take all kinds of personal detail pictures of your bee. Then, you can easily share those naughty pictures on the web. Goodness gracious!
Plus, with a helpless yet dead victim at your disposal, it is relatively easier to key that victim out without getting stung. Also, a person can take that dead victim around to museums where it can be compared to other miserable victims. Holy Hindu Cow! The misery, the agony. Jeez Louise!
So the answer to the question, Has Crumby considered collecting again?, is, yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes. Mercy! Crumby wants to kill them all. Yes. Crumby wants to net all those elusive little fuckers. After that, off they go to the killing jar.
On the other hand, Crumby vividly recalls the aroma of his killing jar post stink bugs. Oh My Goddess! What smells worse than a killing jar that the stink bugs have got in? Nothing. Nothing smells worse than that.
Crumby may have waited too long. Crumby the killer may no longer be an option. Why? Easy that, Crumby can smell everything these days whereas in former times, Crumby could smell nothing. But before Crumby could smell nothing, Crumby could smell everything, including the awful aroma of stink bug death in the killing jar. Barf!
It's like the Zen bullshit. First you see the mole hill. Then you don't see the mole hill. Then, once you achieve whatever, you can see that the mole hill is actually a mole hill.
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, January 03, 2010
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