Ray’s Nuisance Caterpillar
Mercy! It’s not like I don’t have plenty to vex me at work already, but in addition to the rest of the aggravation, all these caterpillars get on me lately. Whoa! You feel something going along on your sweaty red neck which you got from werkin’ in the sun. Whatever it is, it tickles like mad. Then you reach around to scratch. Only instead, you come up with a handful of caterpillar goo. Great Goddess!
The dern caterpillars we are considering are all over everything. They are on my wheel barrow. They are on my cart. They are on the pots. They are in the trays. They are down my overall bib in a flash, headed south.
These particular caterpillars are about as long as a yellow wooly bear, but less stout. They are athletic caterpillars, moving along at a good pace. They are ready climbers. Once they have climbed up, they may fall or jump onto your hat or head.
It’s a good thing these caterpillars lack the venom of the asp. Still, a caterpillar or two in your boxers can’t be all that good. Ugh!
Hark! Now my bosom companion, Crumby, has some sociological commentary.
Thanks Ray. Yes I do.
OK. Do you remember how great it was when you first learned to read? Man, I do. It was like a big deal to get to read the Sunday funnies.
Back then I was an ignorant child so practically all the funnies were about equally interesting. What were some of the ones I liked. Easy that; Red Ryder, Prince Valiant, Popeye, Tarzan, Superman, Dick Tracy, Alley Oop. Huh-huh. Why did all the cave men have big calves. It always amazed me that the dudes had big calves yet the dudettes had normal calves. Man! I especially liked Alley Oop. Especially, I liked the shaman with the bird hat.
Gradually though, down through the ages, Crumby found himself reading less funnies. Like when Far Side subsided, Crumby seriously cut down on the funnies. And for many moons now, the only comic Crumby followed was Dilbert. But now Crumby has given up on Dilbert. So now, Crumby no longer espies the funnies.
What do we make of that?
The dern caterpillars we are considering are all over everything. They are on my wheel barrow. They are on my cart. They are on the pots. They are in the trays. They are down my overall bib in a flash, headed south. These particular caterpillars are about as long as a yellow wooly bear, but less stout. They are athletic caterpillars, moving along at a good pace. They are ready climbers. Once they have climbed up, they may fall or jump onto your hat or head.
It’s a good thing these caterpillars lack the venom of the asp. Still, a caterpillar or two in your boxers can’t be all that good. Ugh!
Hark! Now my bosom companion, Crumby, has some sociological commentary.
Thanks Ray. Yes I do.
OK. Do you remember how great it was when you first learned to read? Man, I do. It was like a big deal to get to read the Sunday funnies.
Back then I was an ignorant child so practically all the funnies were about equally interesting. What were some of the ones I liked. Easy that; Red Ryder, Prince Valiant, Popeye, Tarzan, Superman, Dick Tracy, Alley Oop. Huh-huh. Why did all the cave men have big calves. It always amazed me that the dudes had big calves yet the dudettes had normal calves. Man! I especially liked Alley Oop. Especially, I liked the shaman with the bird hat.
Gradually though, down through the ages, Crumby found himself reading less funnies. Like when Far Side subsided, Crumby seriously cut down on the funnies. And for many moons now, the only comic Crumby followed was Dilbert. But now Crumby has given up on Dilbert. So now, Crumby no longer espies the funnies.
What do we make of that?
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, May 14, 2010
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