Good Advice
First Mary, (Karl’s third wife) then Prissy, (Karl’s saddle mare) warned, Karl you are too stoned to ride a horse. But Karl was also too stoned to heed good advice. Away they both went, bareback, Prissy and Karl trotting along at a good pace. Suddenly though, Karl bounced himself entirely off his mount. And the sad truth is, Karl landed on his hands first, thus spraining both arms from the tips of his fingers to his smelly pits. It was hours before the finger janglies eased up.
Yes. Mercy! Karl, had been doing fairly well before he fell off Prissy. He was exercising regularly, avoiding binge whiskey slurps, dieting. But now, Karl was injured. He could not work. He could not exercise. The fact is, he couldn’t even eat and drink because his hands were so jangled and his arms so sore. He couldn’t even grip or lift even a pork chop or a pint to his trembling, feeble lips. Plus, Karl felt sorry for himself.
Something had to be done. But Mary was too busy with her regular schedule to constantly look after Karl, catering to his every pathetic whim or need. Mary needed help. And as it turns out, there was a boy in the neighborhood who needed a part time job. Now this particular boy (Donny) was a short bus rider, but trainable. So Karl had Donny trained up in no time.
What were Donny’s duties? Easy that, Donny needed to raise glasses or mugs to Karl’s lips plus feed Karl. Donny was also, unbeknownst to Mary, supposed to roll Karl’s cigarettes. But Mary told Rayetta, I can’t even tell you Rayetta, how aggravated I was with Karl teaching that boy to roll cigarettes. Goodness! Our entire stash was smoked up and they set fire to the table cloth. The fire department came out. Boo-hoo-hoo.
There, there Mary!
Anyhow, Karl’s personal health or hygiene progress that he had accomplished through dieting, sobriety and exercise was totally shot during that period or phase of his life. Yes. He went backwards to fat, drugged and helpless. So Crumby’s good advice to old people is, watch out for injuries because injuries can totally foul up whatever good intentions or plans you may have. Injuries are, maybe, the greatest of all the potential threats to your healthy lifestyle.
Yes. Mercy! Karl, had been doing fairly well before he fell off Prissy. He was exercising regularly, avoiding binge whiskey slurps, dieting. But now, Karl was injured. He could not work. He could not exercise. The fact is, he couldn’t even eat and drink because his hands were so jangled and his arms so sore. He couldn’t even grip or lift even a pork chop or a pint to his trembling, feeble lips. Plus, Karl felt sorry for himself.
Something had to be done. But Mary was too busy with her regular schedule to constantly look after Karl, catering to his every pathetic whim or need. Mary needed help. And as it turns out, there was a boy in the neighborhood who needed a part time job. Now this particular boy (Donny) was a short bus rider, but trainable. So Karl had Donny trained up in no time.
What were Donny’s duties? Easy that, Donny needed to raise glasses or mugs to Karl’s lips plus feed Karl. Donny was also, unbeknownst to Mary, supposed to roll Karl’s cigarettes. But Mary told Rayetta, I can’t even tell you Rayetta, how aggravated I was with Karl teaching that boy to roll cigarettes. Goodness! Our entire stash was smoked up and they set fire to the table cloth. The fire department came out. Boo-hoo-hoo.
There, there Mary!
Anyhow, Karl’s personal health or hygiene progress that he had accomplished through dieting, sobriety and exercise was totally shot during that period or phase of his life. Yes. He went backwards to fat, drugged and helpless. So Crumby’s good advice to old people is, watch out for injuries because injuries can totally foul up whatever good intentions or plans you may have. Injuries are, maybe, the greatest of all the potential threats to your healthy lifestyle.
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, September 25, 2010
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