The Grasshopper Can Fly and Eat Grass

No wonder the grasshopper has historically been contemptuous of the hard-working ant. Why should I work hard? I can fly and eat grass.

That daring-do, devil-may-care attitude typifies your average grasshopper. But just because those grasshoppers are flippant, doesn’t mean they need to flip Crumby off.

Just because you think you can fly
Just because you think you eat grass
Just because you think you got shovels
That let you dig holes with your ass

Just because you think you spit out tobacco
Just because you faunch all day long

Well I’m tellin’ you, I’ll get a picture of you,
Because, just because.

What inspired the above, particular doggerel? Easy that. Yesterday Crumby espied a band-winged grasshopper out in the east pasture. Hold it! Crumby thought. I don’t have any documentation for band-winged grasshoppers. Stop! Wait! Let me take your picture!

But alas. The band-winged grasshopper we are presently discussing flew off directly over the neighbor’s fence, headed east, not stopping for shit. Crumby was only able to espy that it displayed an orange wing.

Frustrated, Crumby decided to go out looking for band-winged grasshoppers in the terrible wilderness that abuts the CB on every side. Yes. That’s what Crumby decided after a long, fruitless search for more band-winged grasshoppers at the CB proper.

Off Crumby journeyed. The trip was long and hard. Are we there yet? But finally, after many adventures, Crumby at last espied a band-winged grasshopper. Not one of the orange ones. But this here yellow-winged (not shown) one with a blue tibia. Arphia simplex

How come you don’t come on over to the CB so I can document you properly? Crumby asked the grasshopper.

Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. What’s the CB to me? I can fly and eat grass.