Crumby Spells Out Loud about Camera Gear
Many may know that typing out your thoughts may be good therapy. It’s like, if you can’t explain something orally, you don’t know what you’re talking about and you are probably a stupid Booblican or Schweinhundt. Well. The same is super true when it comes to actually spelling this or that thought or feeling out. You may be happily typing along. But when you read what you have typed or spelled, it doesn’t make any sense, even to you, the author. Well. You may argue. This could possibly make sense to somebody, at some time. But the truth is, it does not make sense, period. It’s just more drivel flowing down hill into the sea or ocean known as the Sea of Drivel or Drivel Ocean. OK!
That spelled, periodically, Crumby needs to reassure himself about his cameras. Not easy when your brand of Japanese camera is the Olympus brand. That’s because Olympus is like second- tier or second-rate when it comes to recreational optics. Like, would you buy an Olympus binocular? Maybe, if you are an ignorant Schweinhundt, you would.
Consider this. Nikon makes tons of binoculars. Most of those binoculars are at least as bad as the Olympus offerings. But a very few of them are much better. With the better ones, you can easily and happily espy birds from dawn to dusk. Hark! Crumby knew these many facts when he purchased Olympus cameras. But he wasn’t thinking. Or, somehow, Crumby didn’t say to himself, Nikon makes a tiny few really swell bins. I bet the same applies to the cameras. No. Crumby must have been afflicted by temporary dyslexia when it came to his camera purchases.
One time, Ray, Crumby’s bosom companion, got a swell deal on some cowboy boots. Those wondrous cowboy boots actually had silver dollars for decoration. Yippee! Somehow the manufacturer had figured out how to flatten these two silver dollars. Like probably the manufacturer put those dollars on a train track and let the train run over them. Then though, the manufacturer figured out how to glue those silver dollars on the side of the cowboy boots just below where you apply your finger digits when you pull your boots on.
So how cool is that? You have cowboy boots with smushed silver dollars glued on. Only thing is, for the general public to get to admire your boots, you need to wear shorts or tuck you britches or chaps into the top of your boots. Which, of course, is exactly what Ray did, wear shorts with his cowboy boots.
I can tell you, that get-up used to drive Red crazy. Because, a bunch of Red’s old pals, like Dr. Swineherd, would kid Red about the sissy hand working for him, meaning my bosom companion, Ray. Also, Rayetta, Ray’s sister, was practically mortified that Ray would go out in public wearing that outfit. Then too, when Ray informed Rayetta that he looked better in shorts than she did, Rayetta got extra pissed off.
Now Rayetta was aware that Ray puts great stock in the opinions of Karl the Tracker Druid. And Rayetta is close pals with Karl’s third or fourth wife, Mary the Virgin. So Rayetta says, Mary, do you think you could get Karl to talk Ray out of those boots? And Mary says, All righty Rayetta, for the sake of our long friendship and because Ray looks ridiculous, and because Ray looking ridiculous is a possible burden on everyone except maybe the Crumby Ovate, Ray’s bosom companion, I shall attempt to persuade Karl to visit with Ray about those boots. (I don’t know why everyone figured I was OK with Ray’s boots. What I couldn’t figure out was why the blessed WG gave Ray those boots and I didn’t get any).
Well, there you have it, comparable situations, Ray’s boots and Crumby’ cameras. How are they comparable? Easy that, Ray wore his boots out, despite all the sneers and good advice. And Crumby is bound to do the same with his cameras, wear them out.
Mercy! The day when Crumby’s camera gear may be plumb wore out may be approaching. Last Saturday the lock wheel on Crumby’s flash unit cracked. Too much man-power applied? Apparently. Now that puppy is taped. Mercy!
Crumby has decided that macro photography in natural light is about 80% bullshit. That is, around 80%, likely more, of the pictures you take need flash. That’s why, Crumby’s now busted and taped flash is socked onto the hot shoe regularly. Bug pictures need plenty of flash.
Now here’s a fact you hardly ever hear stated. It’s a rarity for ears. If you have a long macro lens, chances are you can focus on a bug or vermin maybe a fraction of a cubit in front of your camera. This is called the working distance between you and your vermin. But also, that same working distance may allow your shoe mounted flash to illuminate your vermin. Yippee! No goofy macro flashes and cumbersome brackets. That’s why Crumby recommends long macro lenses. For example, Sigma 150mm is really 300mm on Crumby’s camera. Not quite 1-1 with flash, but close. For short lenses though, you need the macro flashes and cumbersome brackets.
Todays’ featured vermin are the long sought after tortoise or turtle beetles. Long and perilous has been the miserable and forlorn search for these particular beetles. Yet just as the stygian darkness was about to envelope Crumby for eternity, the kindly and friendly WG blessed or allowed Crumby to espy not one, but two of these curious beetles or vermin.
Charidotella sexpuntata on Ipomopsis trichocarpa; break it down, sex-punc-tata. What a great specific name!
.jpg)
Plagiometriona clavata on Solanum americanum sometimes now known as S. ptycanthum.
That spelled, periodically, Crumby needs to reassure himself about his cameras. Not easy when your brand of Japanese camera is the Olympus brand. That’s because Olympus is like second- tier or second-rate when it comes to recreational optics. Like, would you buy an Olympus binocular? Maybe, if you are an ignorant Schweinhundt, you would.
Consider this. Nikon makes tons of binoculars. Most of those binoculars are at least as bad as the Olympus offerings. But a very few of them are much better. With the better ones, you can easily and happily espy birds from dawn to dusk. Hark! Crumby knew these many facts when he purchased Olympus cameras. But he wasn’t thinking. Or, somehow, Crumby didn’t say to himself, Nikon makes a tiny few really swell bins. I bet the same applies to the cameras. No. Crumby must have been afflicted by temporary dyslexia when it came to his camera purchases.
One time, Ray, Crumby’s bosom companion, got a swell deal on some cowboy boots. Those wondrous cowboy boots actually had silver dollars for decoration. Yippee! Somehow the manufacturer had figured out how to flatten these two silver dollars. Like probably the manufacturer put those dollars on a train track and let the train run over them. Then though, the manufacturer figured out how to glue those silver dollars on the side of the cowboy boots just below where you apply your finger digits when you pull your boots on.
So how cool is that? You have cowboy boots with smushed silver dollars glued on. Only thing is, for the general public to get to admire your boots, you need to wear shorts or tuck you britches or chaps into the top of your boots. Which, of course, is exactly what Ray did, wear shorts with his cowboy boots.
I can tell you, that get-up used to drive Red crazy. Because, a bunch of Red’s old pals, like Dr. Swineherd, would kid Red about the sissy hand working for him, meaning my bosom companion, Ray. Also, Rayetta, Ray’s sister, was practically mortified that Ray would go out in public wearing that outfit. Then too, when Ray informed Rayetta that he looked better in shorts than she did, Rayetta got extra pissed off.
Now Rayetta was aware that Ray puts great stock in the opinions of Karl the Tracker Druid. And Rayetta is close pals with Karl’s third or fourth wife, Mary the Virgin. So Rayetta says, Mary, do you think you could get Karl to talk Ray out of those boots? And Mary says, All righty Rayetta, for the sake of our long friendship and because Ray looks ridiculous, and because Ray looking ridiculous is a possible burden on everyone except maybe the Crumby Ovate, Ray’s bosom companion, I shall attempt to persuade Karl to visit with Ray about those boots. (I don’t know why everyone figured I was OK with Ray’s boots. What I couldn’t figure out was why the blessed WG gave Ray those boots and I didn’t get any).
Well, there you have it, comparable situations, Ray’s boots and Crumby’ cameras. How are they comparable? Easy that, Ray wore his boots out, despite all the sneers and good advice. And Crumby is bound to do the same with his cameras, wear them out.
Mercy! The day when Crumby’s camera gear may be plumb wore out may be approaching. Last Saturday the lock wheel on Crumby’s flash unit cracked. Too much man-power applied? Apparently. Now that puppy is taped. Mercy!
Crumby has decided that macro photography in natural light is about 80% bullshit. That is, around 80%, likely more, of the pictures you take need flash. That’s why, Crumby’s now busted and taped flash is socked onto the hot shoe regularly. Bug pictures need plenty of flash.
Now here’s a fact you hardly ever hear stated. It’s a rarity for ears. If you have a long macro lens, chances are you can focus on a bug or vermin maybe a fraction of a cubit in front of your camera. This is called the working distance between you and your vermin. But also, that same working distance may allow your shoe mounted flash to illuminate your vermin. Yippee! No goofy macro flashes and cumbersome brackets. That’s why Crumby recommends long macro lenses. For example, Sigma 150mm is really 300mm on Crumby’s camera. Not quite 1-1 with flash, but close. For short lenses though, you need the macro flashes and cumbersome brackets.
Todays’ featured vermin are the long sought after tortoise or turtle beetles. Long and perilous has been the miserable and forlorn search for these particular beetles. Yet just as the stygian darkness was about to envelope Crumby for eternity, the kindly and friendly WG blessed or allowed Crumby to espy not one, but two of these curious beetles or vermin.
Charidotella sexpuntata on Ipomopsis trichocarpa; break it down, sex-punc-tata. What a great specific name!.jpg)
Plagiometriona clavata on Solanum americanum sometimes now known as S. ptycanthum.
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, October 11, 2010
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