Mercy Me and Me Oh My! Ant Baffles!

Goodness! It certainly has been awhile since the venue got an update. That’s because the computer’s hard drive underwent a nervous breakdown. With no hard drive, the computer would not work. With no computer, the internet would not work. With no internet, the venue, RGVECB, would not work.

While the computer was gone, Crumby sometimes found himself alone in the laboratory, staring sadly at the monitor. Sometimes, Crumby would think out loud to himself, how come the monitor’s off? Then Crumby would remember that the computer was gone to the nervous hospital to get a new hard drive installed. Mercy!

Holy Moley! Hard drive prices have sure come down over the last seven years. Crumby purchased a new, 500 GB at Best Buy for $49. How about that?

Everyone talks about the weather. And modern humans do something about the weather too. That’s right. We make it hotter.

This summer is going down as the hottest summer ever documented for these parts. Poetic justice since the collective average denizens of these parts are also about the worst gluttons ever documented. It’s good that they are suffering from the heat and paucity of rainfall. It’s the revenge of the WG and the death of nature.

Achtung dumbkopfs! Drought Alarm Level II. Fire Danger High.

Yes. For months we have been at Alarm Level II. Which means we are only supposed to water once a week with restricted hours on watering day. Course it’s impossible to water enough given those limitations. Thus, the options are, let your plants go dormant or maybe die, or cheat. Many cheat. And why not? All the highland lakes but two are brim full of water. That’s right. Brim full.

What are we saving all that water for? Easy that, new development. Long time residents conserve water so that new immigrants can splurge.

So what’s Drought Alarm Level III. That’s when we quit watering entirely, pour kerosene on the yard and set it on fire.

Meantime though, Crumby has got to keep the birds fed. Turns out though, the various ants, but acrobat ants in particular, took over the dang hummingbird feeders. Those ants swarmed those feeders.

Obviously Crumby needed to do something about the millions of voracious acrobat ants swarming the feeders. First, Crumby tried Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. That’s right. Crumby greased the wires on which the feeders were hung with the jelly which might otherwise have been applied to Crumby’s a-hole. Yet it was a waste of good jelly because the ants traipsed right through with never a bye yer leave. Dang!

Then Crumby decided he needed to try ant baffles. I shall baffle those ants. Crumby thought. But none of the various stores in these parts vended ant baffles. Therefore, Crumby decided on DIY ant baffles.

Here’s Crumby’s ant baffle in operation. It’s the bottom of a Tecate beer can. Crumby cut off the bottom of the can, then crimped the top of the cutoff portion all round, and folded the margin down. That way nobody will cut themselves on the sharp beer can. Safety first!

Crumby drilled a hole in the bottom of the baffle to be. He used a very small drill bit so the wire, when pushed through the hole would be nice and tight. To increase the surface area for glue. Crumby taped the bottom of the baffle over the drilled hole with gorilla tape. Crumby forced the wire through the hole and the tape. Finally Crumby applied a liberal amount of Gorilla Glue.

The ant baffles were allowed to sit over night so the glue would set up. Next day. Voila! Ant baffles.

You have to fill the ant baffles with water or maybe gasoline kerosene. Then they operate like a moat to keep the ants away from the feeder. Course you need to hang the baffle above the feeder. Not below the feeder. Crumby has also designed beer can ant baffles that can go on horizontal wires yet operate on similar principles.

Oh! Vincent Jerome did OK, finishing far from last en le tour.

Oh! Are those that believe in social democracy about ready to feel like armed self defense might be a good idea after all?