Road Rage
There are too many people (7 billion +) at least, and most of them are no damn good. Therefore, road rage is a perfectly normal reaction to crowds of dumbasses driving automobiles on the overburdened streets and highways of Der Homeland.
Crumby, for example, is normally overcautious and hyper alert, constantly on the watch for danger or environmental hazards. Why if Crumby feels like danger may threaten outside, Crumby will therefore, stay home. No matter what. Yet that same Crumby, behind the wheel of an automobile is apt to become an active participant in road rage incidents. Like Crumby has chased other motorists, enjoyed parking lot fisticuffs, screamed, hollered, cursed, gesticulated, carried weapons (including handguns) under the car seat, etc. The fact is, the mere sight of a Jesus fish on the back of a great vehicle is enough to set Crumby off.
Let the Heathen, rage!
Yet motor vehicle road rage is way rational compared to bicycle road rage. That's right. An average road rager is far less likely to actually do much damage to himself or herself while inside a car as compared to a cycling road rager.
I mean like,what is more vulnerable than a cylist teetering on a bike while stopped in the middle lane of a busy intersection with nothing between that average cyclist and a honking, revved up environment, but a little spandex? For goodness sakes.
Yet Crumby indulged in road rage twice, or on twain occasions, recently. Like the first incident occurred when Crumby was attempting to cross west to east on South Lamar at that light which regulates traffic flow between the strip malls just north of 290. Crumby sat there for many minutes. All the other traffic got to go twice. But Crumby's light never turned green. Result. Road rage. And justifiably so.
Next Crumby is going along in front of Beall's, fixing to get milk from the Central Market when his handle bar gets clipped by a car's mirror. Jeez Louise. And Crumby is riding practically on the sidewalk. Result. Road rage. And justifiably so.
Crumby actually chased after that car. He was so mad. But consider. Crumby is 64 years old. Due to a bad rotator cuff, Crumby can no longer throw a right with much good intent. Crumby is also little, gray headed, and physically unintimidating. Also, there are two bad knees, and a bad wrist. Plus he is overweight and has asthma attacks.
Road rage! Crumby did have a pocket knife though. So he figured on stabbing that motorist if he could have caught up on his bicycle. Stabbed him or her. Good riddance.
But here's a slightly merrier topic: Birds that run into the sliding glass door.
Yes. At this very nonce, the CB features maybe 50 goldfinches of twain species. Sometimes a goldfinch will get too excited and fly into the sliding glass door. Thunk!
But your average goldfinch is a tough little booger. And so far, all of them have survived that terrible smacking, unexpected collision, including this one. Ten minutes after this picture was took, this particular goldfinch was off, zipping around with the best of them. By the bye. The easiest way to tell your Americano goldfinch from your lesser goldfinch is the squinty or slanty eyes.
Crumby, for example, is normally overcautious and hyper alert, constantly on the watch for danger or environmental hazards. Why if Crumby feels like danger may threaten outside, Crumby will therefore, stay home. No matter what. Yet that same Crumby, behind the wheel of an automobile is apt to become an active participant in road rage incidents. Like Crumby has chased other motorists, enjoyed parking lot fisticuffs, screamed, hollered, cursed, gesticulated, carried weapons (including handguns) under the car seat, etc. The fact is, the mere sight of a Jesus fish on the back of a great vehicle is enough to set Crumby off.
Let the Heathen, rage!
Yet motor vehicle road rage is way rational compared to bicycle road rage. That's right. An average road rager is far less likely to actually do much damage to himself or herself while inside a car as compared to a cycling road rager.
I mean like,what is more vulnerable than a cylist teetering on a bike while stopped in the middle lane of a busy intersection with nothing between that average cyclist and a honking, revved up environment, but a little spandex? For goodness sakes.
Yet Crumby indulged in road rage twice, or on twain occasions, recently. Like the first incident occurred when Crumby was attempting to cross west to east on South Lamar at that light which regulates traffic flow between the strip malls just north of 290. Crumby sat there for many minutes. All the other traffic got to go twice. But Crumby's light never turned green. Result. Road rage. And justifiably so.
Next Crumby is going along in front of Beall's, fixing to get milk from the Central Market when his handle bar gets clipped by a car's mirror. Jeez Louise. And Crumby is riding practically on the sidewalk. Result. Road rage. And justifiably so.
Crumby actually chased after that car. He was so mad. But consider. Crumby is 64 years old. Due to a bad rotator cuff, Crumby can no longer throw a right with much good intent. Crumby is also little, gray headed, and physically unintimidating. Also, there are two bad knees, and a bad wrist. Plus he is overweight and has asthma attacks.
Road rage! Crumby did have a pocket knife though. So he figured on stabbing that motorist if he could have caught up on his bicycle. Stabbed him or her. Good riddance.
But here's a slightly merrier topic: Birds that run into the sliding glass door.
Yes. At this very nonce, the CB features maybe 50 goldfinches of twain species. Sometimes a goldfinch will get too excited and fly into the sliding glass door. Thunk!
But your average goldfinch is a tough little booger. And so far, all of them have survived that terrible smacking, unexpected collision, including this one. Ten minutes after this picture was took, this particular goldfinch was off, zipping around with the best of them. By the bye. The easiest way to tell your Americano goldfinch from your lesser goldfinch is the squinty or slanty eyes.
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, January 02, 2012
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