Do Bicycles Promote Immortality?
Just today the Druids made an historic addition to the official Druid Guidelines. The new Guideline is, "Riding a bicycle extends a person's lifespan by approximately the time spent actually riding on the bicycle. Which is the same difference as spelling, "Time on a bicycle counts not." So theoretically, if you could spend all your time on your bicycle. you would live forever.
A few naysayers objected that plenty of humans get killed riding bicycles. But in the end a majority of the conclave agreed that in general, one is knocked off the bicycle and run over, or one topples off the bike of ones own accord, prior to ones' demise. So technically, no one probably actually dies while seated on or pedaling the bicycle.
The bicycle Guideline accepted, the Druids then held forth on the relative benefits to longevity that might be derived from the unicycle and tricycle respectively. In the end, rationality prevailed. The unicycle was rated at 0.5 and the tricycle at 1.5 as compared to the bicycle.
A few naysayers objected that plenty of humans get killed riding bicycles. But in the end a majority of the conclave agreed that in general, one is knocked off the bicycle and run over, or one topples off the bike of ones own accord, prior to ones' demise. So technically, no one probably actually dies while seated on or pedaling the bicycle.
The bicycle Guideline accepted, the Druids then held forth on the relative benefits to longevity that might be derived from the unicycle and tricycle respectively. In the end, rationality prevailed. The unicycle was rated at 0.5 and the tricycle at 1.5 as compared to the bicycle.
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, August 11, 2014
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