sun gods - Cu Chulaind

As Ray and Rayetta were discussin yesterday in the subtopic subtopic we might need to re-tell a sun god story about now. We'll start with this one.

When he got riled up, you would of thought that every hair on his head was being driven down through his skull and a spark of fire was on every hair as if iron hammers beat on tiny flints. One eye squeezed down to the size of a midge while the other swole up to the size of a saucer. He'd grin from ear to ear and open his mouth so wide that a fair sized dog could run into it. When he woke one mornin and stretched, two dolmen on either side of him sundered. He could carry a full grown man or two on his back and a pig under each arm and go along at a fair pace, when he was six. He also generally acted six, which fact, complemented by his great strength and uncertain temper made most everyone stand off a neighborhood er two (from him).

One day Conchubur decided, as was his custom, to take a bunch of us off free loadin with him, 50 of us to be exact, to visit with Culand who ran a cow calf operation in the Connachta border country. We got to Culand's place, early afternoon, and feasted and drank fer a spell. Then, near dusk Culand got our attention fer a minute an proclaimed that he needed to shut the place up fer the night and turn the dog loose. Culand's custom was to lock up at night fer fear of rustlers and murderers, and to loose his dog to guard the cattle. Now this particular dog was the size of a small ox and it took nine grown men to haul him any place he didn't want to go, and that strategy only worked when they had three chains on the dog and ever one of the grown men had a good grip. So all of us went out to gawk at the loosin of the dog and the closin of the gate behind the dog and once ever one had gawked at those events we went back in the house.

A short while later we heard a great to do from outside and figured the dog had caught someone fer dinner. But a while after that we heard a great poundin on the gate and a great hollerin too, "lemme in, or else". We all went out again then, and proceeded to look through the peepholes of the gate and there he was, the six year old pacin back and forth, pausin anon to hammer the gate, appearin as described in the first paragraph above, only worse, and draggin that big ol dog by its neck. The dog was sincerely dead.

Then we all started makin chin music about what to do about the boy. Some said he was too dangerous to be let in and others said that if we didn't let him in, he'd break down the gate and beat the tar out of us. There was some danger of a generalized panic attack breakin out, but fortunately Senchae and Cathub come up with a plan for simmerin the boy down.

"That boy is shy", Senchae foretold, "around naked ladies." "So here's what we'll do. Culand you tell the ladies of the house to take off their clothes and bunch up over by the gate. Then Red, you spell open the gate real fast and get a couple of those big husky Ulaids yonder to yank hard on the gate just in case you fidget, and then the naked ladies can rush out and surround the boy. He'll hide his eyes from the naked ladies and while he's not watchin, the rest of the Ulaid can jump on him and subdue him."

But Cathub said, "Maybe just to be on the safe side, we should also fill up three big tubs of water and set them over by the gate. Then when the big husky Ulaids grab the boy, they can throw him in the water to cool him off.

"Why three tubs?"asked Senchae.

"One may not be enough." foretold Cathub.

Meantime while the water tub preparations were underway, the boy had most pounded the gate down and wrenched the gate posts up and thrown the dog over the gate. It (the dog) landed on Conchubur and conked him out.

But when all the water tub preparations were at last prepared, I, Red spelled open the gate with a little help from a couple of the big husky Ulaids and the naked ladies rushed the boy. Sure enough, as Senchae foretold, he was shy and dropped his eyes from the advancing ladies. But when two or three of the big husky Ulaid jumped him, they received big boy whuppins, for he looked at them with his saucer eye and looked at the naked ladies with his midge eye. That part of the preparations didn't work. But the ladies stepped back into the fray and they were the ones that herded the boy over to the first water tub and put him in it. He burst that tub asunder from the great heat he gave off. So then the ladies put him in the second tub and he merely heated the water to a rollin boil in that one. Then they put him in the last tub and all he could manage was room temperature water. After that we could see he was calmed down sufficient to converse with and reason with at a six year old level. So Cathub told the ladies that hadn't already done so that they could go get dressed, and some of the big husky Ulaids drug the dog off Conchubur. Then we all went back in the house to have a Dolmen Stout or two which ever one deserved on account of the scare we had all had. Senchae and Cathub took charge of the boy.

After we'd all had a Dolmen er two, Culand rose up and started hollerin "That boy kilt my watch dog, that boy kilt my watch dog", and some of us felt sorry for Culand and some of us felt sorry for the dog.

Then the boy rose up and said "Culand, I'm sorry I kilt yer watch dog and to make it up (to ye), I'll be yer dog until I can train up a pup to make my place."

"Fair enough" said Culand.

Then up rose Cathub. "This boy shall have a new name, and that name shall be spelled Hound of Culand".

That's how Cu Chulaind got a new name, which by the way he (Cu Chulaind) didn't much like, preferring his previous name Setantae.
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So there's us a sun god story. Those who have read somewhat of books, may be experiencing, with Raymone, day ja vu.