The Adventures of Blodeuwedd cont.

This is how the WG appeared to Math and Gwydion as they stared, slack-jawed at the young lady sitting on top of the Dolmen. Her face and hair were milk white in color as the light of the moon, and a good bit of her hair stuck out horizontally, her arms were also white, as snow, as were her feet. Her gown was black in the twilight and shone with the light of stars and the moon as if they were caught in it. And they couldn’t see much else about Her because it was getting dark.

Of a sudden, Math Son of Mathonwy remembered his manners, and spoke up, “Young lady what are you doing out here all alone with the night coming on, anon.”

“Oh, just visiting these parts, and lovely it is here too, but I have no place to rest this night and I am weary, could I come along with you?”

“Yepper, you may indeed. I am Math Son of Mathonwy, a mighty King and Druid in these parts and right over yonder is my castle. And this is my cousin Gwydion, also a Druid of some renown, though Gwydion doesn’t have his own castle and stays with me. And who might you be?”

“Blodeuwedd, is my name and I am very pleased to meet such mighty Druids.”

After these required introductions, Blodeuwedd, Math and Gwydion set off for Math's Castle, in the direction of the next hill to the north and as the three so journeyed, they made small talk. And in the small talk vein Blodeuwedd happened to mention to the Druids that, “I, Blodeuwedd had no memory prior to this very day and believed I had, odd as it seems, come to fruition inside a plant specimen bag which now at this very time and after some alterations adorneth and covereth up most, of me." At this turn in the small talk, Math and Gwydion went slack-jawed again, but Gwydion, wise to the material of both the gown and the bag, the fine wool dyed blue with woad, noted that Blodeuwedd's gown could reasonably be of the very same material as his plant specimen bag was, formerly. Then suspicion grew in the mind of Gwydion, and in Math's mind also, that this very fair maiden could be the wicker woman they had labored over for the better part of that day. And as they trudged along their suspicion grew and grew.

Anon, the threesome arrived at Math's Castle, sometimes known in those parts as the Castle of Math, and after Math did some hollering directed at the asleep gate attendant, Blodeuwedd, together with Math and Gwydion last of all, were let inside. Then Math summoned his old mother to show Blodeuwedd where She might go to perform ablutions and also to look upon the guest room they had already prepared, fer Her. "Supper", Math commented, as Blodeuwedd and the Mother of Math (MOM) departed, "will be ready pretty soon, I hope." Then, once Blodeuwedd and the Mom were out of range, both Gwydion and Math har-harred and danced a jig and congratulated themselves on cunning magicin' and profuse wizardry and all that, for both believed that this Blodeuwedd was, as they had intended all along, a fruition of their creation, the wicker woman of oak, broom and meadowsweet, come to be. "Let us now go to our ablutions, and then to supper, maybe, and at supper we may recount this great adventure to the assembled household", foretold Math, and Gwydion agreed to all that, and away the Druidry of those parts went.

Mom had, despite deep misgivings on the prospect of the actual arrival of a flower maid in the household as foretold by her son and her nephew in the a.m., gone ahead on and freshened up a guest bedroom and to that guest bedroom Mom now directed Blodeuwedd, having been assured, by Blodeuwedd that, "I only do of ablutions for entertainment, not of necessity." Mom thought this a rather interesting remark, but let it go for the nonce for they had verily arrived at the guest bedroom immediately adjacent to the ablution performance area and Mom had to show off its features and accouterments (including some very nice spare dresses, shoes and such) to Blodeuwedd. Having determined to both their satisfactions that the features and accouterments of the guest bedroom were nice as pie, Mom departed from Blodeuwedd with, "I'll send someone round to knock you up for supper, dear. Do you like pork chops?"

"Oh, my! How interesting does that sound? Pork chops will do nicely, fer me. Thank you very much and I shall abide being knocked up, eagerly."

“All righty then, dear. See you at supper."

Then Blodeuwedd shut the door to the spare and began to chuckle with a combination of delight in the various spare room accouterments and with something else also, in accord with the lotsa fun She was having. And Mom, wandering off to the kitchen thought, "That's an odd one, too pale er something, and what the heck did she mean about ablutions?"

After a while, sure enough, Blodeuwedd, heard a knock at the door and got up, went to the door, opened the door, and there beheld a sallow, lankish youth of about her own perceptual age standing at alert with somewhat of a booger apparent in his right nostril. "Prithee sir, I am called Blodeuwedd, but before you introduce yerself, to me, or relax, pray turn about and remove that booger from yer right nostril for it gives much offense, to me, perched as it be, therein." And that's just what the sallow, lankish youth did do, turn about and remove the booger. "Ah ha," thought Blodeuwedd, "this one follows orders, what else can he do?" The booger removed and concealed, the sallow, lankish young man introduced himself politely.

"I be Lleu Llaw Guffes, at yer service, and I be here anon as guide to yer supper.

"I'm sorry Lleu, but aren't you already here."

"I am indeed, already here, anon."

"Hmmmmmm. All righty then. Shall we go to supper then, anon?"

"We shall, indeed, anon."

“Okie Dokie to that”, and amidst the linguistic confusion Blodeuwedd and Lleu did depart for the suppering hall and on the way to supper, for small talk, Blodeuwedd ordered, "Sit with me at sup Lleu, and tell me the etymology of yer name, for I know it not".

"Gladly will I do just that, Lady Blodeuwedd, for many have wondered at the etymology of Lleu Llaw Guffes."

Then the twain of them, both Lleu and Blodeuwedd, arrived at the suppering hall and found a supper all laid out before them and all the important people of the household and round about those parts assembled and Math hollered out, "Take yer seat and let's to meat".

This is how they were seated at meat. Math was at the head of the table and on his left side was Blodeuwedd and across from Blodeuwedd was Lleu Llaw Guffes, and then came Gwydion and Gwydion's little brother, and then some more of Math's kin folk, pals and hangers on and their significant others, and at the other end of the table sat Mom and Math's second wife.

The meat that was laid out, besides pork chops, was collard greens sauteed in olive oil with garlic and leeks, sweet potatoes and molasses on the side, cornbread, mash potatoes with red eye gravy and sliced tomatoes and cucumbers. And fer desert there was extra tart lemon meringue pie with coffee. Everything was delicious and there was plenty of Dolmen Stout to wash it down with, and a light champagne mead and iced tea too.

As promised, the supper conversation had Lleu Llaw Guffes telling Blodeuwedd about the etymology of Lleu Llaw Guffes.

"It means lion of the steady hand."

"Huh?"

"It means lion of the steady hand."

"I heard you the first time. But lions don't have hands!" It maketh no sense, to me."

“Lions don’t have hands?”

“No, they don’t. They have paws.”

“Paws?”

“Paws.”

“All righty then. I’m the Lion of the Steady Paw, maybe.”

“Yepper. You probably are!”

But Blodeuwedd while thus discoursin’ with Lleu was also listening to the interesting account of Her miraculous creation as described by Math, Son of Mathonwy with interruptions by Gwydion, Son of Don, to whit:

“Then Gwydion returned with the oak, broom and meadowsweet in his specimen bag”.

“And a great volume and mass of those little wonders were in it, for I Gwydion know about collectin’, none more than me.”

“Then I, Math spelled over the bag, “Awake oh maiden fair, from yer vegetable like condition, and lo a great mist arose and Gwydion here swooned from fear of the mist.”

“You swooned too Math, and first. You conked out before me.”

“No I didn’t. I was only pretendin’ to be asleep. Anyhow, here She sits before us, a flower maid of our own conjurin’, Blodeuwedd, and a most fittin’ bride to be, She be, fer our own cousin er son or er, whatever he is, Lleu Llaw Guffes. Three big coyote yips fer Blodeuwedd and Lleu!!!”

Then all the Cymry present began to whoop and holler in the best imitation of a coyote they could conjure, though not a one of them had ever heard tell of a coyote in those parts.

And Blodeuwedd thought to Herself, “Hmmmmm.”

______

to be continued,

by Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes