The Adventures of Blodeuwedd cont.
A Note from the Author - Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes
Scholars of the old stories have noticed that I, Nancy have spelled about Math ap Mathonwy, uncharacteristically, in the two prior iterations of this subtopic. And I will admit that I left out something rather important. In all those places where Math was hikin', and he did a good bit of hikin', he should have been ridin' a pony, or maybe a horse, or some sort of equine or bovine beast of conveyance. The reason for this is Math is crippled, ritually crippled in fact, and I, Nancy in my zeal to relate the adventures of Blodeuwedd, fergot that Math was crippled in the legs. Also it is unlikely that Math would have danced a jig. But all that is bygone and beyond redemption for the nonce.
Or, instead of spelling that I, Nancy fergot and bearing that shame, I might say that Math was cured by Jesus, temporarily for those two prior iterations of The Adventures of Blodeuwedd, just so Math could hike and jig. But given Math's heathen proclivities, why would Jesus do that? I'd have to change the story all round like plenty of others before me have, in fact, changed the story around. But I won't do that. I'll leave it just as it is, and if anyone wishes they can imagine Math bouncing along on top of a pony, with Gwydion jogging along beside, trying to keep up, and neither of the twain Druids, trudgin'.
_____
And now, that out of the way The Adventures of Blodeuwedd cont.
The WG sitting at post meat in Her Blodeuwedd guise, sipping at a glass of chilled champagne mead, and smiling wickely at the bumptious host of Cymry bumping about Her, thought, "All that food was certainly delicious, but what's this about me, Blodeuwedd marrying that Lion of the Steady Paw. I would not think to marry a Steady Paw ever, and why should anyone surmise that I would?"
_____
Another note of clarification from Nancy.
Now this is the way it is with the WG and I tried to get this important information included in the Druid Liturgy, but I fergot that too. It's easy for us Goddesses to ferget stuff because we have so many responsibilites, obviously. But I will spell this important information now and we shall all be better off, fer it.
The way it is with the WG, thinkin' wise, is, She is the Greatest of All Pivoters. Why is that Nancy, you ask? Easy that. Her thought is of such great outreach, that She often turns to another subtopic before the thought She sent out in the first place has time to get back to Her, and when the thought She sent out in the first place does get back to Her, She has forgotten all about it. So it becomes a temporarily lost thought. But the WG in Her capacity as the All-Knowing can summon any lost thought forth if She requires it via her Rolodex of Memories.
_____
cont.
And this is just what the WG in Her Blodeuwedd guise was doin' at Her betrothal supper, requiring a thought from Her Rolodex Memory. And what She was requiring a thought on was "Why would anyone surmise that I would marry a Steady Paw?"
Going through Her memory Rolodex She came to the thought. "Hmmmmm, a summons to Math’s virginity test ceremony, Math ap Mathonwy, King of These Parts, here and now doth summon up, His cousin, er niece, er whatever she is, Arianrhod, to the Castle of Math for the determination of whether or not she qualifies to be the Royal Footholder. All righty then. I shall have a nice surprise for Math and soon see what follows from that, surprise. This will be lotsa fun. Let’s see, whatever shall I wear, and also, I must see about looking my very palest for the occasion.” And the WG, in the guise of Blodeuwedd, prospective bride, to Math’s er nephew, or whatever Lleu Llaw Guffes was in kin relation to Math, realized She had found the lost thought She had been searching for.
The event the WG in the guise of Blodeuwedd is recalling above had occurred a good while, but not a great while previously, in the neighborhood of 18 growing seasons past, in fact, so you can see why, the WG, being busy, and having many thoughts covering great distances could have forgotten that one, temporarily. That event She now remembered and the surprise for Math contained therein, that Arianrhod contrived for Math.
Math ap Mathonwy has this knack, to know a virgin when he sees one. However, for the knack to work properly, every time, Math resorts to a wand test. And the test is, Math holds his wand six inches off the ground and parallel to the ground, and the young lady of that particular test iteration is required to step over the wand, and when she thus steps over it, the wand, Math knows. (Oh yes, King Math knows). On this particular occasion, Math was fixing to employ this knack to fill the vacant position of Royal Footholder which position was open. A new Royal Footholdler was required because Gwydion and Gwydion’s little brother, had together, despoiled the prior Royal Footholder of her virginity while Math was off horse or ponyback riding. And Math had this other peculiarity, that when he wasn’t off horse or ponyback riding, his feet had to be propped in the lap of a virgin which further elucidates his need for a new Royal Footholder.
Understandably, Arianrhod was not exactly hankering to fill the position of Royal Footholder, a tiresome job and smelly. So the little surprise Arianrhod devised was:
As Arianrhod assayed to traverse the wand, somewhat of a yelp issued from her and lo a baby nosed forth hollerin’ from under the upraised folds of her gown and lo yet another baby then issued forth, but this second one, a tiny baby, began to sprint about the hall so that it was difficult to catch.
And the second tiny baby that issued forth on that particular occasion, eventually turned out to be Lleu Llaw Guffes. Given this unusual, one might even say miraculous birthing event, we can forgive Math his difficulty in recalling a specific kin relationship with Lleu, a difficulty not peculiar to Math alone, but quite difficult for all the men of those times, figuring out quite who the father is. Perhaps, on occasion this difficulty remains as a problem, even for the men of these chancy times.
By the way, so far as any story tells, no one put forward the notion of virgin birth respecting Arianrhod. No one, Math or anyone else, thought of that possibility even once. And Arianrhod, when asked by one of Her girlfriends how She acquired those babies, replied, "snips and snails and puppy dog tails, maybe."
_____
to be continued.........
by Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes
Scholars of the old stories have noticed that I, Nancy have spelled about Math ap Mathonwy, uncharacteristically, in the two prior iterations of this subtopic. And I will admit that I left out something rather important. In all those places where Math was hikin', and he did a good bit of hikin', he should have been ridin' a pony, or maybe a horse, or some sort of equine or bovine beast of conveyance. The reason for this is Math is crippled, ritually crippled in fact, and I, Nancy in my zeal to relate the adventures of Blodeuwedd, fergot that Math was crippled in the legs. Also it is unlikely that Math would have danced a jig. But all that is bygone and beyond redemption for the nonce.
Or, instead of spelling that I, Nancy fergot and bearing that shame, I might say that Math was cured by Jesus, temporarily for those two prior iterations of The Adventures of Blodeuwedd, just so Math could hike and jig. But given Math's heathen proclivities, why would Jesus do that? I'd have to change the story all round like plenty of others before me have, in fact, changed the story around. But I won't do that. I'll leave it just as it is, and if anyone wishes they can imagine Math bouncing along on top of a pony, with Gwydion jogging along beside, trying to keep up, and neither of the twain Druids, trudgin'.
_____
And now, that out of the way The Adventures of Blodeuwedd cont.
The WG sitting at post meat in Her Blodeuwedd guise, sipping at a glass of chilled champagne mead, and smiling wickely at the bumptious host of Cymry bumping about Her, thought, "All that food was certainly delicious, but what's this about me, Blodeuwedd marrying that Lion of the Steady Paw. I would not think to marry a Steady Paw ever, and why should anyone surmise that I would?"
_____
Another note of clarification from Nancy.
Now this is the way it is with the WG and I tried to get this important information included in the Druid Liturgy, but I fergot that too. It's easy for us Goddesses to ferget stuff because we have so many responsibilites, obviously. But I will spell this important information now and we shall all be better off, fer it.
The way it is with the WG, thinkin' wise, is, She is the Greatest of All Pivoters. Why is that Nancy, you ask? Easy that. Her thought is of such great outreach, that She often turns to another subtopic before the thought She sent out in the first place has time to get back to Her, and when the thought She sent out in the first place does get back to Her, She has forgotten all about it. So it becomes a temporarily lost thought. But the WG in Her capacity as the All-Knowing can summon any lost thought forth if She requires it via her Rolodex of Memories.
_____
cont.
And this is just what the WG in Her Blodeuwedd guise was doin' at Her betrothal supper, requiring a thought from Her Rolodex Memory. And what She was requiring a thought on was "Why would anyone surmise that I would marry a Steady Paw?"
Going through Her memory Rolodex She came to the thought. "Hmmmmm, a summons to Math’s virginity test ceremony, Math ap Mathonwy, King of These Parts, here and now doth summon up, His cousin, er niece, er whatever she is, Arianrhod, to the Castle of Math for the determination of whether or not she qualifies to be the Royal Footholder. All righty then. I shall have a nice surprise for Math and soon see what follows from that, surprise. This will be lotsa fun. Let’s see, whatever shall I wear, and also, I must see about looking my very palest for the occasion.” And the WG, in the guise of Blodeuwedd, prospective bride, to Math’s er nephew, or whatever Lleu Llaw Guffes was in kin relation to Math, realized She had found the lost thought She had been searching for.
The event the WG in the guise of Blodeuwedd is recalling above had occurred a good while, but not a great while previously, in the neighborhood of 18 growing seasons past, in fact, so you can see why, the WG, being busy, and having many thoughts covering great distances could have forgotten that one, temporarily. That event She now remembered and the surprise for Math contained therein, that Arianrhod contrived for Math.
Math ap Mathonwy has this knack, to know a virgin when he sees one. However, for the knack to work properly, every time, Math resorts to a wand test. And the test is, Math holds his wand six inches off the ground and parallel to the ground, and the young lady of that particular test iteration is required to step over the wand, and when she thus steps over it, the wand, Math knows. (Oh yes, King Math knows). On this particular occasion, Math was fixing to employ this knack to fill the vacant position of Royal Footholder which position was open. A new Royal Footholdler was required because Gwydion and Gwydion’s little brother, had together, despoiled the prior Royal Footholder of her virginity while Math was off horse or ponyback riding. And Math had this other peculiarity, that when he wasn’t off horse or ponyback riding, his feet had to be propped in the lap of a virgin which further elucidates his need for a new Royal Footholder.
Understandably, Arianrhod was not exactly hankering to fill the position of Royal Footholder, a tiresome job and smelly. So the little surprise Arianrhod devised was:
As Arianrhod assayed to traverse the wand, somewhat of a yelp issued from her and lo a baby nosed forth hollerin’ from under the upraised folds of her gown and lo yet another baby then issued forth, but this second one, a tiny baby, began to sprint about the hall so that it was difficult to catch.
And the second tiny baby that issued forth on that particular occasion, eventually turned out to be Lleu Llaw Guffes. Given this unusual, one might even say miraculous birthing event, we can forgive Math his difficulty in recalling a specific kin relationship with Lleu, a difficulty not peculiar to Math alone, but quite difficult for all the men of those times, figuring out quite who the father is. Perhaps, on occasion this difficulty remains as a problem, even for the men of these chancy times.
By the way, so far as any story tells, no one put forward the notion of virgin birth respecting Arianrhod. No one, Math or anyone else, thought of that possibility even once. And Arianrhod, when asked by one of Her girlfriends how She acquired those babies, replied, "snips and snails and puppy dog tails, maybe."
_____
to be continued.........
by Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes
posted by ray pistrum at Tuesday, September 20, 2005
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