The Adventures of Blodeuwedd cont.
Now it so happens that in this world, coincidences seem to happen, often, in the sense that an incident is liable to occur at or near a time similar to the occurrence of yet another incident. So it should not surprise that the Lion of the Steady Hand bade farewell to Blodeuwedd one fine day, declaring thus, “The Lion of the Steady Hand is off to tournament, but will return anon.”
“Where are you going Lleu?”
“It is a fer piece.”
“Yes, I’m sure it is a indeed a fer piece, but where are you going?”
“Where the tournament is, is where I be going, and great honor and achievement will accrue to me, there at!”
“Um, hmh, but let me guess, is the tournament in Dyfed? “
“It is a fer piece and perhaps beyond the bounds of Dyfed!”
From long experience Blodeuwedd foresaw that Lleu didn’t actually know his destination, only that the destination included a tournament so She predicted, “Have fun Lleu and win some ribbons and be sure to send the Royal Herald in advance when you return this way so I will know you are returning, anon.”
To this terminus of the parting Lleu agreed, and set forth then, together with his retinue, for the Castle Math and to the companionship of his er, Uncle Gwydion, who actually knew the location of the tournament. And Blodeuwedd , discerning the departure of Lleu and the retinue, considered, “What incident may very nearly co-occur with this incident?”
Her anticipation of a coincident was not overlong in arriving in the format of a certain swineherd then resident in those parts, and the swineherd was called Badgemagus, and many were the swine that Badgemagus herded, and to aid in the herding of the swine, Badgemagus kept swine hounds, or as the Saxons would spell, schweinhunds, and these were hyper-active, clever, medium sized, short-haired dogs, colored white with red ears. And often it was said in those parts in those days that no swine troubled the countryside unless Badgemagus and his dogs knew of it.
“What is that great clamour We discern beyond the gate, Gatekeeper?”, cried Blodeuwedd.
“Lo and behold, there be a swineherd without My Lady and the great clamour is the swineherd hollering and the swines oinking and the swine hounds yelping. Shall I admit this noisy and noisome crew or no?”
“By all means, they may be let in one and all.”
Then Blodeuwedd predicted to the hired help that were handy at Her beck and call, “Please see to this swineherd and his charges in such fashion as is customary to their comfort and ease, and once you be content with the scent of this particular swineherd, fetcheth him along, to Me.” So that’s what the hired help, did do.
Badgemagus was much pleased with the spare bedroom he was afforded with an ablution area contained therein and he also delighted in the swine parlors stuffed with corn and day old bread and doughnuts and the kennels stuffed with grubbers, treats and toys in which all his charges were ensconced. Further, invited to the company of Lady Blodeuwedd, Badgemagus determined to impress Her with the grandest spell of dog and swine circusing ever seen in those parts. And that’s just what Badgemagus, did do.
For when Badgemagus was admitted to the presence of the Lady, he was finely accoutered and neutrally scented and with Badgemagus were several of his charges that had learned tricks of acrobatics and tumbling and were also finely accoutered and neutrally scented and both the swines and the dogs were accomplished at galloping full out within concentric circles, riding upon the backs of one another, leaping on high through hoops of fire, leaping unto Badgemagus’ arms and upon his back, and leap-frogging about in general, and withall walking on hind legs, and climbing ladders. Badgemagus and the swines and the dogs would do this also; a swine or perhaps a dog would climb a ladder to the tip-top, then leap therefrom, plummeting from a great height only to vanish in a poof of mist and reappear in the lap of Blodeuwedd, anon.
Needless to say, and as anyone would expect, these antics and devotions of Badgemagus and Company made a very favorable impression on Blodeuwedd. So much so that Blodeuwedd, in turn, treated Badgemagus and Company to Her Most Famous Owl Circus, that features synchronized owls on the wing, plucking anything from anywhere and everywhere and sometimes these particular owls wear blindfolds for these acrobatics and plucking forths.
The circuses complete, and after the twain of them, both Blodeuwedd and Badgemagus went to their ablutions and changed their underwears somewhat of necessity from laughing so hard at the capers of the swines, swine hounds and owls, the both of them also went to meat. The meat that night was fried chicken, yellow squash sauteed with tomatoes, onions and peppers, black-eyed peas with turnip greens and a dash of vinegar, grits with gravy and biscuits. There was also plenty of iced tea, coffee and bourbon. And all of the meat was, delicious!
As incidents sometimes turn out, both Blodeuwedd and Badgemagus had somewhat to talk over at meat and at drink and one thing led to another with all this talkin’ and pretty soon Badgemagus spent the night, but not in the spare bedroom, and after that for several nights more also, not in the spare.
to be continued
by, Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes
“Where are you going Lleu?”
“It is a fer piece.”
“Yes, I’m sure it is a indeed a fer piece, but where are you going?”
“Where the tournament is, is where I be going, and great honor and achievement will accrue to me, there at!”
“Um, hmh, but let me guess, is the tournament in Dyfed? “
“It is a fer piece and perhaps beyond the bounds of Dyfed!”
From long experience Blodeuwedd foresaw that Lleu didn’t actually know his destination, only that the destination included a tournament so She predicted, “Have fun Lleu and win some ribbons and be sure to send the Royal Herald in advance when you return this way so I will know you are returning, anon.”
To this terminus of the parting Lleu agreed, and set forth then, together with his retinue, for the Castle Math and to the companionship of his er, Uncle Gwydion, who actually knew the location of the tournament. And Blodeuwedd , discerning the departure of Lleu and the retinue, considered, “What incident may very nearly co-occur with this incident?”
Her anticipation of a coincident was not overlong in arriving in the format of a certain swineherd then resident in those parts, and the swineherd was called Badgemagus, and many were the swine that Badgemagus herded, and to aid in the herding of the swine, Badgemagus kept swine hounds, or as the Saxons would spell, schweinhunds, and these were hyper-active, clever, medium sized, short-haired dogs, colored white with red ears. And often it was said in those parts in those days that no swine troubled the countryside unless Badgemagus and his dogs knew of it.
“What is that great clamour We discern beyond the gate, Gatekeeper?”, cried Blodeuwedd.
“Lo and behold, there be a swineherd without My Lady and the great clamour is the swineherd hollering and the swines oinking and the swine hounds yelping. Shall I admit this noisy and noisome crew or no?”
“By all means, they may be let in one and all.”
Then Blodeuwedd predicted to the hired help that were handy at Her beck and call, “Please see to this swineherd and his charges in such fashion as is customary to their comfort and ease, and once you be content with the scent of this particular swineherd, fetcheth him along, to Me.” So that’s what the hired help, did do.
Badgemagus was much pleased with the spare bedroom he was afforded with an ablution area contained therein and he also delighted in the swine parlors stuffed with corn and day old bread and doughnuts and the kennels stuffed with grubbers, treats and toys in which all his charges were ensconced. Further, invited to the company of Lady Blodeuwedd, Badgemagus determined to impress Her with the grandest spell of dog and swine circusing ever seen in those parts. And that’s just what Badgemagus, did do.
For when Badgemagus was admitted to the presence of the Lady, he was finely accoutered and neutrally scented and with Badgemagus were several of his charges that had learned tricks of acrobatics and tumbling and were also finely accoutered and neutrally scented and both the swines and the dogs were accomplished at galloping full out within concentric circles, riding upon the backs of one another, leaping on high through hoops of fire, leaping unto Badgemagus’ arms and upon his back, and leap-frogging about in general, and withall walking on hind legs, and climbing ladders. Badgemagus and the swines and the dogs would do this also; a swine or perhaps a dog would climb a ladder to the tip-top, then leap therefrom, plummeting from a great height only to vanish in a poof of mist and reappear in the lap of Blodeuwedd, anon.
Needless to say, and as anyone would expect, these antics and devotions of Badgemagus and Company made a very favorable impression on Blodeuwedd. So much so that Blodeuwedd, in turn, treated Badgemagus and Company to Her Most Famous Owl Circus, that features synchronized owls on the wing, plucking anything from anywhere and everywhere and sometimes these particular owls wear blindfolds for these acrobatics and plucking forths.
The circuses complete, and after the twain of them, both Blodeuwedd and Badgemagus went to their ablutions and changed their underwears somewhat of necessity from laughing so hard at the capers of the swines, swine hounds and owls, the both of them also went to meat. The meat that night was fried chicken, yellow squash sauteed with tomatoes, onions and peppers, black-eyed peas with turnip greens and a dash of vinegar, grits with gravy and biscuits. There was also plenty of iced tea, coffee and bourbon. And all of the meat was, delicious!
As incidents sometimes turn out, both Blodeuwedd and Badgemagus had somewhat to talk over at meat and at drink and one thing led to another with all this talkin’ and pretty soon Badgemagus spent the night, but not in the spare bedroom, and after that for several nights more also, not in the spare.
to be continued
by, Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, September 26, 2005
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