Ray's Thought for the Day - The Rising Cost of Beer
The cost of beer in these parts is going up. I don’t know why. Anon, the cost shall rise again. I don’t know why. But something needs to be done. Somebody needs to take some action.
The dang government, or the free market or the dang beer capitalists, or whoever is in charge, needs to reverse this dangerous situation. That is because in times of misery, people need downers more than ever. Beer is a historically and usually legal, cheap downer. Beer is the people’s downer. Yet, if the price keeps on skyrocketing, the people won’t be able to afford their beer.
The fact is, with misery fixing to increase, the people need plenty of cheap beer. That’s why, though I don’t know why the beer price is rising, I feel like the dang government needs to cease the beer tax overnight. Then the dang government needs to subsidize the beer capitalists. Those two actions should bring down the price of beer a lot. I bet those two actions would get the price of beer down to a nickel a pint. A nickel a pint is about the right affordable price for counterbalancing the upcoming misery or miserable conditions the average Americano is fixing to endure. But with the price of beer at a nickel a pint that misery shall be endurable.
Many don’t like beer or require some other downer because they are allergic or whatever. Yet those poor souls are just as liable to be afflicted by the upcoming misery as the beer drinkers. So to be fair, something needs to be done for the non-beer drinking miserable minority. They need cheap downer alternatives to beer. Otherwise, the upcoming situation could get dangerous despite nickel a pint beer.
That’s right. The dang government needs to subsidize the downer industry in general, cease taxing the bejesus out of that industry, legalize parts of it, and maybe provide a potential responsible entrepreneur like me with a start up grant. With a little help from the government, a relatively tiny infusion of capital, I could go into the downer business and maybe save many from the upcoming misery. Now that would be a great expenditure of your tax dollars. All righty then.
The dang government, or the free market or the dang beer capitalists, or whoever is in charge, needs to reverse this dangerous situation. That is because in times of misery, people need downers more than ever. Beer is a historically and usually legal, cheap downer. Beer is the people’s downer. Yet, if the price keeps on skyrocketing, the people won’t be able to afford their beer.
The fact is, with misery fixing to increase, the people need plenty of cheap beer. That’s why, though I don’t know why the beer price is rising, I feel like the dang government needs to cease the beer tax overnight. Then the dang government needs to subsidize the beer capitalists. Those two actions should bring down the price of beer a lot. I bet those two actions would get the price of beer down to a nickel a pint. A nickel a pint is about the right affordable price for counterbalancing the upcoming misery or miserable conditions the average Americano is fixing to endure. But with the price of beer at a nickel a pint that misery shall be endurable.
Many don’t like beer or require some other downer because they are allergic or whatever. Yet those poor souls are just as liable to be afflicted by the upcoming misery as the beer drinkers. So to be fair, something needs to be done for the non-beer drinking miserable minority. They need cheap downer alternatives to beer. Otherwise, the upcoming situation could get dangerous despite nickel a pint beer.
That’s right. The dang government needs to subsidize the downer industry in general, cease taxing the bejesus out of that industry, legalize parts of it, and maybe provide a potential responsible entrepreneur like me with a start up grant. With a little help from the government, a relatively tiny infusion of capital, I could go into the downer business and maybe save many from the upcoming misery. Now that would be a great expenditure of your tax dollars. All righty then.
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, February 20, 2008
1 Comments:
It's those dang illegal giant armadillos hijacking all our Lone Star Beer trucks that what's driving the price of cheap beer up. Those dang giant armadillos can't find enough beer trucks in Chiapas or El Salvador or Nicaragua or wherever the heck their from so they are coming here in droves taking over our cheap beer trucks as their own. And it's not just the cheap beer that Americans don't want to or are unwilling to drink! Lone Star Beer is the National Beer of Texas for God's sake! Not Tecalote or Cornuda or XX. You can't hardly find a cheap beer truck that's written in English anymore. I don't understand why them Washington politians can't get thier poop togather enough to finally secure our border with a fence big enough and strong enough to keep out those dang giant armadillos!
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