Ignorant Savages Get What They Deserve
Here’s Shelton Green of KVUE news explaining about the juniper versus cedar pollen.
“Cedar allergies usually peak in Austin in January. However the cooler temperatures across Texas lately has (have) prompted Juniper trees, a close relative of the Cedar, to pollinate. Much of that Juniper pollen has already made it to the Austin area several weeks ahead of schedule.”
Crumby prays. Good Goddess! When are you fixing to waft me away from these ignorant savages? Please, please, don’t let me die among these secesh numbskulls, here in the ROT.
The Manual of the Vascular Plants of Texas lists eight species of Juniperus for the Republic. Two of these junipers are sometimes designated by the common name, cedar. Regardless, all eight juniper species are probably locally referenced as cedars by many. All eight juniper species except maybe Alligator juniper were introduced into the Republic via the dung of stray Mexican cows. This great invasion of stray Mexican cows occurred during Governor Bush's first turn as ROT jefe. So it is no accident that President Bush, once he departed Austin to indulge in his long presidential vacation, had to spend so much time doing brush control on the ranch. The introduced juniper, given something like a twenty year head start, was by then fixing to take over the whole place.
The reason the junipers, also known by the white trash name, cedars, were taking over is because the Indians were needed in the privatized prisons. Because the Indians were locked up, nobody was left to burn the cedars except teenagers. Yet the inexperienced teenagers could not burn up the cedar because, uh, the cedar turned out to be a fire retardant type tree. Either that or the teenagers were retarded.
No wonder then that media persons like Shelton Green are confused about which is what. No wonder Shelton completely forgot about Juniperus virginiana, that the white trash name as red cedar. Yes. That red cedar, which happens to reference the favorite color of Communism, has possibly the worst juniper pollen of the three different juniper pollens that are likely to commonly assail nostrils in these parts.
Well actually, the other five, but leaving out Alligator juniper, which is sometimes known to various white trash and white trash sympathizers as crocodile cedar, may send some pollen our way. But those other ones are less important than the big three because they are littler. Still, we have seven junipers to worry about total, plus crocodile cedar.
There is no need for any socialized medicine in the great secesh Republico de Tejas. No need even though the toll taken by the cedar pollen combined with the juniper pollen plus the swine flu is terrible indeed. Horrible, horrible, horrible, terrible! Yet for a few dollars more, we hire on witch doctors, faith healers and exorcists. They keep the allergies and germs at bay. Yes. Allergies are no match for a faith based medical system. The fact is, the Tejas medico system would be perfect except for the trial lawyers and the stray Mexican cows.
“Cedar allergies usually peak in Austin in January. However the cooler temperatures across Texas lately has (have) prompted Juniper trees, a close relative of the Cedar, to pollinate. Much of that Juniper pollen has already made it to the Austin area several weeks ahead of schedule.”
Crumby prays. Good Goddess! When are you fixing to waft me away from these ignorant savages? Please, please, don’t let me die among these secesh numbskulls, here in the ROT.
The Manual of the Vascular Plants of Texas lists eight species of Juniperus for the Republic. Two of these junipers are sometimes designated by the common name, cedar. Regardless, all eight juniper species are probably locally referenced as cedars by many. All eight juniper species except maybe Alligator juniper were introduced into the Republic via the dung of stray Mexican cows. This great invasion of stray Mexican cows occurred during Governor Bush's first turn as ROT jefe. So it is no accident that President Bush, once he departed Austin to indulge in his long presidential vacation, had to spend so much time doing brush control on the ranch. The introduced juniper, given something like a twenty year head start, was by then fixing to take over the whole place.
The reason the junipers, also known by the white trash name, cedars, were taking over is because the Indians were needed in the privatized prisons. Because the Indians were locked up, nobody was left to burn the cedars except teenagers. Yet the inexperienced teenagers could not burn up the cedar because, uh, the cedar turned out to be a fire retardant type tree. Either that or the teenagers were retarded.
No wonder then that media persons like Shelton Green are confused about which is what. No wonder Shelton completely forgot about Juniperus virginiana, that the white trash name as red cedar. Yes. That red cedar, which happens to reference the favorite color of Communism, has possibly the worst juniper pollen of the three different juniper pollens that are likely to commonly assail nostrils in these parts.
Well actually, the other five, but leaving out Alligator juniper, which is sometimes known to various white trash and white trash sympathizers as crocodile cedar, may send some pollen our way. But those other ones are less important than the big three because they are littler. Still, we have seven junipers to worry about total, plus crocodile cedar.
There is no need for any socialized medicine in the great secesh Republico de Tejas. No need even though the toll taken by the cedar pollen combined with the juniper pollen plus the swine flu is terrible indeed. Horrible, horrible, horrible, terrible! Yet for a few dollars more, we hire on witch doctors, faith healers and exorcists. They keep the allergies and germs at bay. Yes. Allergies are no match for a faith based medical system. The fact is, the Tejas medico system would be perfect except for the trial lawyers and the stray Mexican cows.
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, October 24, 2009
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