No News is Good News

If true, then the opposite may also be true. All news is bad news. Certainly, from Crumby’s limited perspective, all news is bad news.

You see, Crumby once believed that his responsibilities as a Druid Ovate included paying attention to the news. That’s because news is theoretically useful for patterning. Patterning is how Druid Ovates come to predict the future. But since Red laid down the law and banned news from the CB, Crumby has discovered that the news, which was always bad, clouded his wits. And now, with no news, Crumby’s wits are not the least bit clouded except maybe when he has had plenty of ale. So these days, assuming sobriety, Crumby can Ovate with the best of them.

You may say to yourself, yeah but, important stuff is happening. Don’t you need to pay attention to the important stuff. Well. The answer is, No! No, no a thousand or maybe two thousand times, No! Because the stuff that is happening is not important. It’s just bad news. And bad news is already patterned in. That’s right. More monopoly capitalism and more imperialism are just more bad news.