Salary Slavery

Most of us, except for the truly ignorant, have heard tell of wage slavery. But what about salary slavery? Correct! Few have heard tell of salary slavery. Yet salary slavery sounds lots funnier than wage slavery. So funny, that unless you are yourself afflicted by salary slavery, it's hard to take seriously. Especially hard to take seriously when your main concern in life is purchasing new gadgets or play purties.

But Crumby believes or holds the opinion that salary slavery is a cruel condition. You may see, boys and girls, that if you get a salary, the bosses will be on you day and night, gang-raping the bejesus out of you. Yes. That sure does hurt. And they shall exploit you mercilessly until, once your grow old, feeble and used up, they shall turn you out, pensionless, a prey item for every avaricious dentist, doctor or mortician that comes along.

That's why, if you have a lick of sense, you go for a wage instead of a salary. Because wage slavery, though not as funny sounding as salary slavery, is otherwise a much better condition or lifestyle. Crumby advises too, go for the highest wage. The fact is, you shouldn't work for a low wage. Low wages are for immigrants. It's like, low wages are why we have immigrants. So if you are not an immigrant, you should get an outrageously high wage to mitigate for the slavery.

Sadly, the truth is, Crumby needs to pay for some expenses he has lately accrued. One of those expenses is featured in the previous entry on this venue. That means Crumby has chosen wage slavery as a way of life for as long as the job lasts. And Crumby requires a high wage, not only because Crumby is native born, but because Crumby shall may have to interact with heathen savages while on the job.

Typically, on any job, the first worker or heathen savage Crumby meets will feel the need to explain to Crumby how he was almost killed by peccaries, or more likely, one of his friends or relatives was almost killed by peccaries. The heathen savage needs to explain this to Crumby because Crumby is a NEPA biologist.

Actually, there are twain types of people on this tiny planet that many call Earth. In terms of religious preference, these twain are the Druids versus the heathen savages. And in terms of habitat preference these corrspond to the off and on pavement crowds. For example, a heathen savage is more likely to stay on the pavement than a Druid.

But getting back to peccaries. You know what they eat, don't you? Those peccaries are a good reason to always stay on the pavement.

Karl the Tracker Druid likes to talk to Ray about his on the job tracking adventures. Karl tells Ray. Ray tells Crumby. So one time Karl was hired to go find a lost water engineer named Mr. Joe. Seems like Mr. Joe the water engineer had gone off to verify that water runs down hill. But Mr. Joe couldn't find any water on pavement due to the droughty conditions in those parts at that time. So Mr. Joe boldly ventured where few water engineers dare to go, off pavement.

Mr. Joe was only off pavement a little ways when the peccaries got him. It was, according to Karl, like the peccaries had just been waiting for Mr. Joe to step off the pavement.

Well. Karl espied from a distance that the peccaries had got Mr. Joe down. Unfortunately, the distance was a far piece so it took Prissy, Karls's smart saddle mare, a while to cover all the broken ground separating Prissy and Karl from Mr. Joe. Yes. It took Prissy and Karl a couple of minute's to reach Joe. And that couple of minutes was all the time those dern peccaries needed to make off with Joe's pecker.

Ugh! Karl had to cauterize Mr. Joe right there on the spot. Otherwise, Mr. Joe would have bled to death.

Now where's Ajax? Prissy, go find Ajax. Mr. Joe! Do you think you can ride a mule, Mr. Joe?

.