Band Contest! A Follow-Up to Band Day
First off, nobody should read the below. Too depressing. It’s like therapy for Crumby. Getting evil off his chest, maybe.
Yippee! Yesterday, from 4pm ‘til 10pm, most of the marching bands in these parts rehearsed for yet another band contest at the Berger Center. Yes. Once again Stinky Valley homeowners quailed inside their wretched domiciles as windows rattled and foundations cracked. Mercy! It’s hard to care about anything else when the noise pollution is at a zillion decibels. But Crumby, feebly fixing to try and recover from heart disease, stressed to the max by the noise, still had some sorry feelings left over for fellow Austinite and cyclist, Lance Armstrong.
Yes, thought Crumby. Lance and I have a lot in common besides residing in these parts and riding bicycles. Like apparently, we both used performance-enhancing drugs to perk up our jobs. For example, I mostly used legal drugs, like alcohol, when I needed to make up environmental reports. But in extreme circumstances requiring really difficult to make up reports, I may have used illegal drugs as well. You know? You got to do what you got to do. Even if it messes you up, down the road or bike lane.
Lance and I also apparently believe in watering our yards. Yes. While many allowed their yards to largely die during recent endless so-called droughts, our yards, mine and Lance’s, stayed green. Well honestly. The CB yard actually finally mostly died because we ran out the water budget. But our yard would have stayed green if we could have afforded the water. Lance could afford the water, so maybe his stayed green. However, I don’t know if Lance’s yard features any plants worth keeping green or not. Chances are, Lance’s yard is just introduced Eurasian weeds, but I don’t know that for a fact. It could be a paradise of native species.
So that’s that. I, Crumby, have endured another miserable 24 hours, suffering extreme noise pollution and comparing myself, not to Jesus, like I should, but to Lance Armstrong. Yes. It’s just another sad tale, typical of our glorious monopoly capital and imperial Homeland.
Yippee! Yesterday, from 4pm ‘til 10pm, most of the marching bands in these parts rehearsed for yet another band contest at the Berger Center. Yes. Once again Stinky Valley homeowners quailed inside their wretched domiciles as windows rattled and foundations cracked. Mercy! It’s hard to care about anything else when the noise pollution is at a zillion decibels. But Crumby, feebly fixing to try and recover from heart disease, stressed to the max by the noise, still had some sorry feelings left over for fellow Austinite and cyclist, Lance Armstrong.
Yes, thought Crumby. Lance and I have a lot in common besides residing in these parts and riding bicycles. Like apparently, we both used performance-enhancing drugs to perk up our jobs. For example, I mostly used legal drugs, like alcohol, when I needed to make up environmental reports. But in extreme circumstances requiring really difficult to make up reports, I may have used illegal drugs as well. You know? You got to do what you got to do. Even if it messes you up, down the road or bike lane.
Lance and I also apparently believe in watering our yards. Yes. While many allowed their yards to largely die during recent endless so-called droughts, our yards, mine and Lance’s, stayed green. Well honestly. The CB yard actually finally mostly died because we ran out the water budget. But our yard would have stayed green if we could have afforded the water. Lance could afford the water, so maybe his stayed green. However, I don’t know if Lance’s yard features any plants worth keeping green or not. Chances are, Lance’s yard is just introduced Eurasian weeds, but I don’t know that for a fact. It could be a paradise of native species.
So that’s that. I, Crumby, have endured another miserable 24 hours, suffering extreme noise pollution and comparing myself, not to Jesus, like I should, but to Lance Armstrong. Yes. It’s just another sad tale, typical of our glorious monopoly capital and imperial Homeland.
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, October 24, 2012
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