Cuhulian Wastes Away (concluded)

Cuhulian and Eithne were lovers
Goddess how they could love
Said they'd be true to each other
True as the stars above

He was her man
But he was doin' her wrong!

Eithne got wind of what Cu was up to with this Banshee Fand and also got wind of the tryst to be at Ibor Cind Trachta. At first she considered killin' both Cu and Fand, but after some reflection' on the prospect of actually killin' Cu and how hard that might be for lotsa reasons, Eithne decided she would just kill Fand, but that might be hard too, killin' a Banshee queen. Nevertheless, this humiliation could not be suffered without payback, so ultimately Eithne enlisted 50 of her girlfriends to help her go kill Fand. After that was accomplished she would think up some payback fer Cu if he didn't return to Eithne and her way of thinkin' agin. She figured 50 of her girlfriends might be enough and these 50 were all tough girls who had undergone some trainin' and some of them were battle hardened and experienced killers and one of them had just recently beat a no 'count boyfriend to death with a skillet.

So one fine day Eithne marshalled the 50 girlfriends and off they went hikin' to the seashore to kill Fand at Ibor Cind Trachta. Cu and Loeg and Fand were out that day at the seashore. Cu and Loeg were sittin' in the chariot enjoyin' a game of checkers and Fand was gazing about the landscape wonderin' why Loeg was along and why Cu and Loeg were playin' checkers when down the beach a ways she espied a great crowd of women and among them Eithne, and they were headed her way. "Uh oh", thought Fand.

"Loeg and Cu! Yonder comes a great crowd of women with gold on their chests and knives er razors in their fists and Eithne among them and they appear aggravated!"

But Cu hollered out, "Get up here in the chariot and I'll protect you, fer these women, no matter how many, are scared of me, fer sure."

Then Eithne cried out "You loved me once, why are goin' off with that Banshee?"

"I am goin' off with her because she is really clever and purty and she has lots of livestock" hollered Cu.

"But I have all that too. Ye know what I think, I think ye will tire of her anon, just as ye tired of me".

Then Cu was ashamed of hisself and he felt sorry for Eithne 'cause she was cryin'and ashamed of what he had done to her and Cu was generally embarrased by the circumstance of standin' in a chariot wavin' his spear around at a bunch of women and hollerin' at 'em.

So Cu said "I'm fairly sorry about all this and I'll come on back home with you, Eithne."

At this Fand began to cry in her turn and said she would go off somewheres else and not bother them any more.

Then, lo and behold, Fand's husband showed up and no one could see him but Fand on account of his being invisible to the eyes of mere mortals, and Fand began conversing with her husband and everyone present assumed she was havin' a panic attack or had gone crazy over losin' Cu, except Loeg who paid careful attention to her commentary in case he was required to report on her commentary, later.

So Fand, tactfully informed her husband that she would rather stay with Cu, but Cu didn't want her any more, so........"I'll just go along home with you now dear husband." which is what Fand did do.

After a minute Cu thought to look around for Fand, and not seeing her anywhere asked Loeg, "Where'd Fand get off to?"

"Easy that, she's gone off somewheres with her husband, Manandan the sea god."

Hearing this, Cu was beside himself with aggrievement, so to compensate for the loss of Fand he performed three prodigious high and three prodigious fer leaps and eventually bounded off into the mountains.

Still, Eithne couldn't give up on Cu. So she went to ol' Conchubur and told him all that had happened and begged Conchubur to do something to save Cu and reminded Conchubur of all the past service Cu had provided Conchubur and pleaded that Cu was now demented and likely to die of thirst or jump off a cliff in his aggrieved state.

"Hep 'em" Conchubur, "hep Cu" Eithne pleaded.

So Conchubur ordered all us Druids to go find Cu and effect a cure on 'em. It took us a while to track 'em down and he was hard to catch fer he had taken up with a flock of rooks and as they flew from tree to tree he would leap along with 'em. But Cathub finally sang him down to the ground to where we could get some ropes on 'em. Once we had him trussed up so he couldn't kill us, we forced a gallon er two of Dolmen Extra Stout down 'em that was spelled with forgetfulness and we give some of it to Eithne too, so she'd ferget all this as well. Some say also that Manandan waved his cloak between Fand and Cu so that they'd neer see one t'other agin. Mebbe that's so, fer Cu never espied Fand agin in that iteration, but as to Manandan and his cloak, the Druids don't go there.

Eithne got her man back and the two of them stayed together fer awhile and sometimes she was safe and happy and sometimes she warn't so safe and happy, fer Cu could never escape from bein' a sun god, almost.

The end in so far as there be ends.

Red Ears