Cuhulian Wastes Away (continued)
Cu indeed raced off after the twain plume birds, afoot, and right swuft was his departure, for he hopped it mighty quick and soon left the pacified crowd, the circus, the picnic and his chariot and chariot driver behind. It be not easy to chase down flyin’ plume birds afoot, but Cu was no mere mortal, but a special model mortal. So he got caught up to the plume birds sufficient to sling at ‘em, but missed and they kept a flyin’ with Cu hard after ‘em and once agin he caught up enou’ to sling at’em, but missed. The chase recommenced,and Cu caught up somewhat and chanced a shot from his bow and arrow, but the arrow naught but grazed the wing of one of the plume birds and they kept on a flyin’.
“Dad gum it. This whole day has been one bad omen after another and now I cain’t even hit these dang birds aflyin.” And Cu began to mull over the days events, but this mulling over only engendered turmoil, noggin-wise.
_____
Fer many moons to the tune of a turn of the wheel, Cu was dumb. In addition, he was much enfeebled by the whuppin’ the twain ladies give ‘em and lay abed much also, so that Eithne spent much of her time managin’, fer Cu .
Then one day, something new actually happened to interrupt this pattern, finally. The manner of the interuption was a Druid with spells sent to the attention of Cu. And these were the spells of the Druid. Cu would go on a trip, meet some new people, make some new friends and altogether have a change of scenery and this would affect a cure, fer ‘em.
And the cure began even prior to the commencement of the adventure for Cu was cured of dumbness then on the spot by the Druid’s recitation, or coincidentally and independent of the Druid’s recitation. But Cu was reluctant, in his weakened state, to assay on such a journey, dumb or nae, so instead, and to gain some time, he sent Loeg in his stead, to determine the lay of the land.
Off Loeg bounced in Cu’s two-seater chariot on his surrogate journey. Now it is well known, and ye can check on this quite easily, the available information on chariot drivers, as opposed to the heroes they drove around, indicates they were most assuredly mere mortals and not likely to figure as the principals in adventures. They were sidekicks, like Sancho Ponza or Little Beaver. But Loeg was, though not keen on personal heroism, a careful observer, duly recording any information that might be pertinent to Cu at a future date.
On this particular surrogate adventure Loeg often felt obliged to make commentary on the absence of Cu. For example, if asked his thoughts on the deportment of 150 divans with 150 nubile maidens disporting on those particular divans, Loeg would reply, “I swan, Cu sure would have something to say (or do) about that if he was here.” While this sort of tact is fairly interesting the first time such invades yer ears, it soon becomes annoying and nowise helpful. So those that kept company with Loeg on his surrogate adventure were unanimously pleased by his departure and longed for the actual adventure and looked forward eagerly to their interactions with the action adventure hero, Cu.
Cu, though still not up to snuff, did indeed, and armed with Loeg’s intelligence gathering information, eventually assay upon the actual adventure despite another, “Don’t go!” from the long-suffering and frustrated Eithne. The initial manner of Cu’s adventure was that he wandered along the same route as Loeg, as instructed to do so by Loeg, until he came upon a particular bodacious tourist court, also indicated by the the advice of Loeg. Cu staggered into the tourist court office, stiff from the near-interminable and bouncy chariot ride and feelin' even less up to snuff than he had felt that mornin' previous to the chariot ride, nauseous in fact. The proprietor of the tourist court, Gog (is one of his many names), and he is huge and conspicuous to look upon for ravens nest in his hair which is like unto a wild briar similar to (Smilax tamnoides) and he keeps a pig tucked under each arm, and he can breathe out any aroma he wishes, and piss cricks and shit hills and swallow a whole lion without chewing first and all kinds of other wonderful stuff he can do, and Gog explained to Cu, "That chariot got a tag? Ye'll need the tag oghams to register. Ye can carve 'em on this here alder twig, fer me."
to be continued by
Red Ears
“Dad gum it. This whole day has been one bad omen after another and now I cain’t even hit these dang birds aflyin.” And Cu began to mull over the days events, but this mulling over only engendered turmoil, noggin-wise.
_____
Fer many moons to the tune of a turn of the wheel, Cu was dumb. In addition, he was much enfeebled by the whuppin’ the twain ladies give ‘em and lay abed much also, so that Eithne spent much of her time managin’, fer Cu .
Then one day, something new actually happened to interrupt this pattern, finally. The manner of the interuption was a Druid with spells sent to the attention of Cu. And these were the spells of the Druid. Cu would go on a trip, meet some new people, make some new friends and altogether have a change of scenery and this would affect a cure, fer ‘em.
And the cure began even prior to the commencement of the adventure for Cu was cured of dumbness then on the spot by the Druid’s recitation, or coincidentally and independent of the Druid’s recitation. But Cu was reluctant, in his weakened state, to assay on such a journey, dumb or nae, so instead, and to gain some time, he sent Loeg in his stead, to determine the lay of the land.
Off Loeg bounced in Cu’s two-seater chariot on his surrogate journey. Now it is well known, and ye can check on this quite easily, the available information on chariot drivers, as opposed to the heroes they drove around, indicates they were most assuredly mere mortals and not likely to figure as the principals in adventures. They were sidekicks, like Sancho Ponza or Little Beaver. But Loeg was, though not keen on personal heroism, a careful observer, duly recording any information that might be pertinent to Cu at a future date.
On this particular surrogate adventure Loeg often felt obliged to make commentary on the absence of Cu. For example, if asked his thoughts on the deportment of 150 divans with 150 nubile maidens disporting on those particular divans, Loeg would reply, “I swan, Cu sure would have something to say (or do) about that if he was here.” While this sort of tact is fairly interesting the first time such invades yer ears, it soon becomes annoying and nowise helpful. So those that kept company with Loeg on his surrogate adventure were unanimously pleased by his departure and longed for the actual adventure and looked forward eagerly to their interactions with the action adventure hero, Cu.
Cu, though still not up to snuff, did indeed, and armed with Loeg’s intelligence gathering information, eventually assay upon the actual adventure despite another, “Don’t go!” from the long-suffering and frustrated Eithne. The initial manner of Cu’s adventure was that he wandered along the same route as Loeg, as instructed to do so by Loeg, until he came upon a particular bodacious tourist court, also indicated by the the advice of Loeg. Cu staggered into the tourist court office, stiff from the near-interminable and bouncy chariot ride and feelin' even less up to snuff than he had felt that mornin' previous to the chariot ride, nauseous in fact. The proprietor of the tourist court, Gog (is one of his many names), and he is huge and conspicuous to look upon for ravens nest in his hair which is like unto a wild briar similar to (Smilax tamnoides) and he keeps a pig tucked under each arm, and he can breathe out any aroma he wishes, and piss cricks and shit hills and swallow a whole lion without chewing first and all kinds of other wonderful stuff he can do, and Gog explained to Cu, "That chariot got a tag? Ye'll need the tag oghams to register. Ye can carve 'em on this here alder twig, fer me."
to be continued by
Red Ears
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, October 12, 2005
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