Birthdays are Bad Juju

A faction of the Druidry in these parts, me, the Crumby Ovate (CO) considers the moons around a birthday to be a particularly dangerous time. This mini-doctrine has not been accepted into the Druid liturgy because it may be too subjective and not generally applicable. Nevertheless, are Birthdays Bad Juju is rappin' on the noggin today, fer sure, as a Potential Safety Topic - Envrionmental Hazard.

The subjective evidence for Birthdays Bad Juju is sickness, accidents and noggin turmoil leading to excessive nervousness disproportionately occurring during the moon phases around one's birthday. The CO first noticed this phenomena, scientifically speaking, a good while back, nigh on to 40 years, before present (bp). (Note: The CO read an annoying article on pollen in bogs recently and one of the annoying things about the article was that the author assumed that the CO knew that bp stood for (was an acronym for) before present). Gradually, over many turns of the great circle, more and more evidence for this mini-doctrine has accrued. Accidents occur almost exlusively in the month of the Elder Berry and usually involve lawn mowers or pole saws. So does getting sick. Last year about this time the CO was so afflicted by an unusally embarrassing condition that he is still unable to spell comfortably on that subtopic.

With lotsa evidence accrued for Birthday Bad Juju, the CO, being a man of action, thought,

Somethin's goin' on here. The WG is tryin' to kill me. This is a yearly test of my worthiness to continue on in this plane of existence.

Now there are lotsa ways to placate the WG, principally by eschewing lying and gluttony. Also She likes to be thought of and appreciated and receive little sacrifices. She is much more apt to check up on whether you have lied or been a glutton and whether you have kept up with with your little sacrifices around yer birthday because that is the time She brought you on to this plane. This is Her reasoning.

I, the WG, need to see if this one human or proto human in particular is just wasting resources, so I'll check up on him and send him an affliction or two to see what he'll do. If he don't do right, I, the WG will snuff him out.

Today's test and potential affliction centers upon the objects depicted to the immediate east of this text. What is depicted? Easy that, a mop and bucket. The CO has been tasked to mop the entire Cow Barn human and proto human residence area, an activity frought with potential danger, especially danger due to a floor mopping accident. Just think about all the ways you could hurt yourself mopping. Note all the danger indicators on the mop bucket. A range wand, ruler side facing the camera is included for scale so you can easily see for yourself, the size of these dangerous objects.

We shall soon see if the CO is worthy to continue, anon.