Ray's Thought for the Day

Ted, one of them that we know, not the famous Ted of the range wand, but yet another Ted, who occasionally uses Ted as one of many nominales de jures, suggests that we compile an Atlas of Spurge Seeds. Let's see. What would the acronym for such a publication be? Whoa! It would be LALA. No. Wait a minute. There are two meanings for that same spell. So it would be Okie Dokie to have a publication called ASS. However, in this particular venue, I, Ray can see how that might attract the attention of unprecedented numbers of the ignorant and vulgar. Hmmm. Perhaps much good would result. I can see it now, mass conversions and teary-eyed confessions!

I came seeking LALA, but those particular spurge seeds have awakened me to a new interest in the little wonders, and now I have forsook my wicked obsession with LALA.

I, Ray would be renowned for saving all the sinners obsessed with LALA. I would be a hero, a veritable sungod, perchance.

What's that Rayetta?

Er. Yepper, the progress on that plant list revision is expeditious, maybe.

But getting back to my thought, if everyone don't mind.

There I, Ray would be, a sungod, veritably, up there with Jesus and Hercules and the rest of em, sporting amidst the clouds and simultaneously making it hot for the liars and gluttons.

Dern it. What's that Hope?

No I don't want to spell about that dang sun filter. That dang sun filter annoyed me.

Er. I'll get some, what? if I spell about it?

All righty then.

We have this dang sun filter that after a few modifications from its state of arrival at RGVECB it, the dang sun filter, can be attached to our allegedly rainproof telescope to become part and parcel to that particular telescopery. Yesterday, we set up out by the shed to spy on Ogma, with it. Well, we fiddled with this and adjusted that, fooled and faunched, and spent much time considerin' whether we were espyin' Ogma versus our noses. Ye see the reflections on the ep lenses were problematic. Crumby had to be sent away because all he wanted to do during his turn was trim nose hairs with his mustache scissors, which by the way, narrowly escaped destruction from Rayetta's previous use, of em.

So finally, after much aggravation and hurt feelings, Lomo claimed he got to see Ogma, but nobody else ever did, ever. So we gave up on Ogma after Lomo allegedly espied him. Then we all had lotsa fun watchin' a starling fool around on a light pole a quarter mile away as part and parcel of some ep tests.

So here's some of the many aggravations associated with espyin Ogma.

1) He's big, but elusive, and ye don't want to use a finder scope, on em, because ye'll blind yerself.

2) He's big, but elusive, so ye'll need a tripod with slomo controls and not some worthless camera tripod.

3) He's big but elusive, so ye want to avoid eps with lotsa green or magenta eye shadow, maybe.

4) He's big but elusive and very nearly invisible behind that nearly opaque solar filter.

5) He's big but elusive if ye don't know what yer lookin fer and fer the same difference, he's dern hard to focus in on.

6) Lomo alledges that the way he saw the big, but elusive, Ogma, was to track Ogma with the ep out of the scope. Then when the the circle around the secondary mirror got real white bright inside the hole where an ep goes, normally, and following the requisite adjustments in the vertical and horizontal planes, Lomo popped the ep in and there Ogma was.

This just come in. It's a picture indicating all the aggravations associated with the inadequate telescopery we lazily assembled fer this experience of Ogma spyin' yesterday. Note that tripod is altoghter worthless fer the activity under consideration. It is also totally worthless for telescopery in general. Here's why!

The vendor of that tripod assured us when we purchased that tripod that it would easily support that little bitty telescope. And that's true. It will support it. But what if you need to adjust the telescope in the vertical plane. See that stoopid little handle sticking out. That's what you use to adjust the telescope in the vertical plane. And no mere mortal can do that, adjust the telescope in the vertical plane, without acquiring a severe case of the aggravations.

On account of this issue we have yet to discover anything that particular tripod might be good for apart from applications related to the dryin' out of underwear, maybe. Moral, get a real telescope tripod if ye use telescopery.

On a more cheerful note, you may appreciate those nice shiver preventers that worthless tripod is established upon.

See that white thing stickin' in that hole toward the telescoperies rear end. Inside that particular hole there resides a piece of glass that separates the innards of this particular telescopery from nature. But try this. Pour a bucket of water on that and see what happens. Ha! That hole may hold water, but will that little piece of glass inside that hole keep the bucket water out of the telescopery innards, or will it give the telescopery, an enema.

Ray, ye better not give that telescopery an enema. I'd have to tell, on ye.