More Telescope Tomfoolery - Magnet on a Stick - An Essential Nicety For Aggravation Mitigation

Last night I, Crumby was very busy reflecting on my past wickedness compared to my current triumphant state. So I was running over some spells, like strumpet, ointment and midget and considering how I might use those spells now, as compared to formerly, back when I was wicked. But then along comes the LDR, and the LDR, that some call Rayetta, wants to go outside and look at the celestial bodies. And, of course, the LDR wants me to go along and carry the telescopery. That activity, toting stuff, is not generally within the purview of the LDR’s modus operandi if one of us ADMMs is handy.

Now I am that kind, due to my former wickedness, that is generally eager to please myself and I had in fact already determined that I was going out with the telescopery anyway, so the LDR fell right into my trap. And thus eventually, out we went, the LDR skipping along merrily and me trudging along behind, encumbered with many a great burden. Then, once clear of the Cow Barn human and proto human habitation areas and the encircling trees, and gazing up into the heavens, the LDR espied that the Pleiades, Mars and the Moon were veritably bunched up and the familiar phrase “Hmmmm. Now let me see. Oh goodness gracious, set up the telescopery expeditiously Crumby. Let us gaze upon those objects up there.” rang out in the night air.

So that’s what I did do, set up the telescopery as directed, fairly expeditiously. Anon, the fair Rayetta departed to check up on the cows and I Crumby was left all alone with the telescopery. And that is when I began to think that perhaps I needed some more telescopery in addition to that telescopery already present at my current location. Now buck up, for this is complicated.

As soon as the LDR came to visit, my noggin kicked into overdrive and I had been thinking highly complex thoughts until the very time the LDR departed and even after her departure, many of these thoughts relating to the telescopery. First I thought, “There’s no telling where Rayetta will want to set up, so I better take the little Lomo and not the big one. Second, I thought “I better put in the erect image prism so Rayetta won’t whine about stuff being upside down or backwards.” Third I thought, but much later on, “This camera is in the way of the gunsight and I can’t use the gunsight to line up on the objects I’m fixing to look at.” Fourth I thought, “That dang Lomo finder is back in the CB human and proto human dwelling quarters and if I deigned to include it in the telescopery, I could use it to line up on the objects, maybe.” So that’s four thoughts for the Crumby Ovate.

Back into the house I journeyed and soon, after only marginal difficulty, I found the Lomo finder. Back out I went into the stygian pasture, packing along the Lomo finder. Then once I rediscovered the location of the telescopery in the stygian pasture, I began to fuss with the six tiny screws that afix the Lomo finder to the remainder of the telescopery and lo one of the six tiny screws leaped out of its receptacle and departed into the grassy stygian sward upon which the telescopery was situated. “Dad gum it!” I exclaimed. But then I remembered my trusty LED light which functions similarly to the flashlight Galadriel gave Frodo, but which looks exactly like one of the Martian machines in the movie “War of the Worlds”. Alas and alack, though, the light failed and I did not find that screw and I was much troubled and even aggravated. So then I thought, “That Lomo finder is totally worthless anyway.” But then I thought, “No, it’s not totally worthless, just almost totally worthless due to its ludicrous magnification of 5x but more particularly, its silly little 25 mm objective and razor thin FOV.” But then I thought, “I can’t stand being tortured like this and I have got to fine that dang screw.”

So this morning with Ogma much in evidence I considered my prospects for recovering that particular screw. So I considered, “Er, even in the light of day that screw may be hard to recover out in that tall grass." And I was in despair.

But Hope, seeing my pitiful estate and forlorn countenance, and desiring for vicissitude thereupon, chanced to remark, “Crumby why so pitiful and forlorn, you should seek out that magnet on a stick the Goddess of Reality Checks acquired for thee long ago for just such occasions as these.”

“Yikes, the thrice noble magnet on a stick! Where is it? Ha!”


Once more I hied forth to the pasture and soon, assisted by the magnet on a stick ,found my screw. Two pictures are loaded up here somewhere. One shows the magnet on a stick with the screw affixed, cleverly reflected in a mirrow. The other one shows that finder bracket missing a screw.

The moral is:

If yer anything like me, ye also require a magnet on a stick fer aggravation mitigation.