Newsflash! Chitlin' Cheney Safe in D.C.

Oh, my goodness gracious, Chitlin' Cheney is safe and back in the capitol city, where, due to security concerns, Chitlin' has enjoyed several delicious meals and snacks to shore him up following his terrible ordeal and haggering jet ride back to D.C. Meantime, communists or Muslim terrorists informed on Chitlin' for not having a quail stamp on his hunting license. Pressured by this revelation, somehow made public, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department is in the process of sending Chitlin' a warning citation by mail, or e-mail, maybe. But the burning question remains, did Chitlin' actually shotgun any quail? Can you whistle, bob - white?