Ray' Thought for the Day - Ray and Olwen 7
Ray was plenty excited. Getting to go to the Country Club and having some quality time with his daddy in the capacity of his daddy’s assistant caddy left Ray giddy with anticipation. Ray was so excited. “I’m a caddy, for my daddy”, Ray repeated over and over to himself, much like unto a broken record. Also, Ray was excited by the potential for progress on the subtopic, sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.
That morning Ray was allowed to have breakfast with his family, the twain of them, both his daddy and his new mommy. The breakfast was delicious and Ray socked it in.
After the family members had plenty of breakfast, Ray’s daddy expounded, “Son, what’s this I hear about you not being able to have sexual intercourse with anyone else, before you have sexual intercourse with Olwen, the daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.”
“That’s a fact daddy. For since mommy told me about Olwen, I have had hardly any thoughts about anything else, and I want to have sexual intercourse with Olwen, real bad.”
“You do, eh. Did you know Ray, that Upyeraholes is a great giant, much feared throughout the land? Rumor has it that many have sought Olwen, but all those that have sought her and placed themselves in Upyeraholes power, have been killed, or imprisoned and tortured and then killed.”
“But do not despair Ray. I will think on this subtopic today, for my mind is at its keenest on the links, and I will come up with a plan that will lead eventually to your having sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.”
“Yippee!”
“Now pay attention Ray and stop that fidgeting. This morning you will ride to the country club with Robert the Caddy. Robert will explain the duties of Assistant Caddy to you, so try to pay attention to Robert. Robert is, or should be, loading up the Country Squire for the trip over. So go find Robert over in the garage area, and I’ll see you later at the Country Club.
“Yippee, all righty then, I’m making good progress in that direction”, burbled Ray, and then he exited the breakfast venue area and actually did begin to make progress in that direction.
Ray soon arrived at the garage area where the several motor vehicles kept by his daddy were sequestered when not in use. And there, sure enough, Ray espied a gentleman loading golf and golf related apparatus into a Country Squire station wagon.
“Hark! You must be Mr. Robert, the Caddy.”
“That’s right. And you must be Mr. Ray, the Assistant Caddy, here to hep me and to learn a trade.”
“Yepper. For it is my first step on an adventure that will conclude when I have sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.“
“Mercy, no rest on that adventure. Upyeraholes eats boys like you. He has em on sandwiches. Grab that bag, and load er up in here and we be ready to head on out to the Country Club."
Ray was thankful to do as he was told and load the bag, for it gave Ray a task within the measure of his skills, to complete, and the task kept Ray from fidgeting and dwelling on the notion of Ray, sandwich meat.
During the trip to the Country Club, Robert explained Ray’s duties as Assistant Caddy. “Mostly ye just do whut yer told. Fetch this, tote that. Then if one of the gentlemen hits a ball off in the brush, ye may have to search fer that ball. But whut I do is carry an extry ball er two in my pockets. So then I can search around a bit, but if I caint find that particular ball off in the brush, I have another one, handy.”
Soon Ray found himself on the links with Robert, his daddy and three of his daddy’s business friends and Ray fetched this and toted that as directed, and Ray also counted holes played through 18 and during all this sporting around the links, Ray acquired a nugget of valuable information from Robert. Boys were allowed to dive into the links water holes for golf balls, and these same golf balls, once retrieved , commanded the sum of two bits at the Pro Shop.
“Whoa” thought Ray, “two bits is a princely sum.”
At the end of play on the 18th hole, Ray’s daddy, as he had promised, took Ray aside and expounded to Ray, much in the manner of a father to a son, and indeed such was the mood of Ray’s daddy that he hugged Ray to him and put his arm around Ray’s shoulders as Ray’s daddy expounded thus, “Ray, I have thought of a way that you may have sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes. You Ray, are by virtue of your birth, first cousin to Kinglet George. Kinglet George will assist you to win Olwen away from Upyeraholes if you can make a good impression on him, for he is duty bound to help all his first cousins. Of course, you will have to marry Olwen, once you dispose of Upyeraholes with Kinglet George’s assistance, before you can have sexual intercourse, with her. Tomorrow I will have Robert and those other minions of mine that I deem fit, outfit you, Ray, for your journey to the palace of Kinglet George, where I am certain you will make a great impression.”
“Ha! Thanks Daddy. I’m so excited.” And indeed, Ray was so excited that he chattered excitedly all the way back to the big house, and Robert, his motoring companion, could scarcely get a word in, edgewise.
That morning Ray was allowed to have breakfast with his family, the twain of them, both his daddy and his new mommy. The breakfast was delicious and Ray socked it in.
After the family members had plenty of breakfast, Ray’s daddy expounded, “Son, what’s this I hear about you not being able to have sexual intercourse with anyone else, before you have sexual intercourse with Olwen, the daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.”
“That’s a fact daddy. For since mommy told me about Olwen, I have had hardly any thoughts about anything else, and I want to have sexual intercourse with Olwen, real bad.”
“You do, eh. Did you know Ray, that Upyeraholes is a great giant, much feared throughout the land? Rumor has it that many have sought Olwen, but all those that have sought her and placed themselves in Upyeraholes power, have been killed, or imprisoned and tortured and then killed.”
Whoa!
“But do not despair Ray. I will think on this subtopic today, for my mind is at its keenest on the links, and I will come up with a plan that will lead eventually to your having sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.”
“Yippee!”
“Now pay attention Ray and stop that fidgeting. This morning you will ride to the country club with Robert the Caddy. Robert will explain the duties of Assistant Caddy to you, so try to pay attention to Robert. Robert is, or should be, loading up the Country Squire for the trip over. So go find Robert over in the garage area, and I’ll see you later at the Country Club.
“Yippee, all righty then, I’m making good progress in that direction”, burbled Ray, and then he exited the breakfast venue area and actually did begin to make progress in that direction.
Ray soon arrived at the garage area where the several motor vehicles kept by his daddy were sequestered when not in use. And there, sure enough, Ray espied a gentleman loading golf and golf related apparatus into a Country Squire station wagon.
“Hark! You must be Mr. Robert, the Caddy.”
“That’s right. And you must be Mr. Ray, the Assistant Caddy, here to hep me and to learn a trade.”
“Yepper. For it is my first step on an adventure that will conclude when I have sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes, Chief Justice.“
“Mercy, no rest on that adventure. Upyeraholes eats boys like you. He has em on sandwiches. Grab that bag, and load er up in here and we be ready to head on out to the Country Club."
Ray was thankful to do as he was told and load the bag, for it gave Ray a task within the measure of his skills, to complete, and the task kept Ray from fidgeting and dwelling on the notion of Ray, sandwich meat.
During the trip to the Country Club, Robert explained Ray’s duties as Assistant Caddy. “Mostly ye just do whut yer told. Fetch this, tote that. Then if one of the gentlemen hits a ball off in the brush, ye may have to search fer that ball. But whut I do is carry an extry ball er two in my pockets. So then I can search around a bit, but if I caint find that particular ball off in the brush, I have another one, handy.”
Soon Ray found himself on the links with Robert, his daddy and three of his daddy’s business friends and Ray fetched this and toted that as directed, and Ray also counted holes played through 18 and during all this sporting around the links, Ray acquired a nugget of valuable information from Robert. Boys were allowed to dive into the links water holes for golf balls, and these same golf balls, once retrieved , commanded the sum of two bits at the Pro Shop.
“Whoa” thought Ray, “two bits is a princely sum.”
At the end of play on the 18th hole, Ray’s daddy, as he had promised, took Ray aside and expounded to Ray, much in the manner of a father to a son, and indeed such was the mood of Ray’s daddy that he hugged Ray to him and put his arm around Ray’s shoulders as Ray’s daddy expounded thus, “Ray, I have thought of a way that you may have sexual intercourse with Olwen, daughter of Upyeraholes. You Ray, are by virtue of your birth, first cousin to Kinglet George. Kinglet George will assist you to win Olwen away from Upyeraholes if you can make a good impression on him, for he is duty bound to help all his first cousins. Of course, you will have to marry Olwen, once you dispose of Upyeraholes with Kinglet George’s assistance, before you can have sexual intercourse, with her. Tomorrow I will have Robert and those other minions of mine that I deem fit, outfit you, Ray, for your journey to the palace of Kinglet George, where I am certain you will make a great impression.”
“Ha! Thanks Daddy. I’m so excited.” And indeed, Ray was so excited that he chattered excitedly all the way back to the big house, and Robert, his motoring companion, could scarcely get a word in, edgewise.
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, March 22, 2006
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