Ray's Thought for the Day - Ray and Olwen 11

Ray washed and dried his hands and then, reflexively, reached for his left hip pocket where he normally kept his ivory handled switchblade comb. But then he had an epiphany, left the comb where it was, normally, and exited the relative security of the very nice comfort station.

“There you are Ray, the dry underwear will do for the nonce I trust.”

“They will indeed, do for the nonce.”

“Though you may not know me, Ray, I am the Kinglet, your first cousin, and I was apprized of your coming. For there is little that passes, even much that is unprecedented, that I do not eventually discover. I, the Kinglet have great powers of eventual discovery, even of the unprecedented. Frequently, all that I must do is opine on a subtopic, and anon, even the most unprecedented aspect of that subtopic is revealed, to me.”

“That’s swell first cousin and Kinglet. I reckoned when I first espied yer person out on the lawn, and the deference yer person was shown by the minions, that ye were a person of great renown and the gift of eventual discovery, even of the unprecedented, as ye have described, indeed confirms ye are no less than the Kinglet I have come to visit. Would ye like to comb my hair?”

“Comb your hair?”

“Yepper, for I have here somewhere, normally in my left hip pocket, a magical comb that ye may employ to comb my hair.”

“Give it me then. A magical comb is unprecedented and I would very much like to discover its abilities.”

Then Ray fetched forth his ivory handled switchblade comb, held it a-fore the eager visage of the Kinglet and pressed the button.

“Whoa!” exclaimed the kinglet.

Ray proffered the comb to the Kinglet and as Ray proffered the comb, Ray foretold, “All ye have to do is wave this comb in the near proximity of my noggin and my hair shall then wax, perfect.”

So the Kinglet took the magical comb in his own hand, gingerly, and waved it in the air in the near proximity of Ray’s head. Of a sudden, every hair on Ray’s head, no matter how wayward, righted itself then and all those particular hairs that were on Ray’s head, waxed perfect, all righty then.

“Heh, heh!” exclaimed the Kinglet. “Let me just try this comb out on my own noggin.” So then the Kinglet established himself before a great mirror there in the Oval Office. Then he mussed his own hair until it was a great muss indeed. Then he waved the comb in the air near to his own noggin. But like with Ray’s hair, every hair on the Kinglet’s own head also waxed, perfect.

“Hark, I must continue this hair care activity for the nonce until it wearies me.” So the Kinglet replicated his experiment with the comb for a good while until he was wearied, of it.

Meantime, Ray, his genetic make-up kicking in, happily looked around the Oval Office for something to steal.

“That is indeed an unprecedented comb,” opined the Kinglet.

“Give it me back and I shall demonstrate yet another unprecedented marvel, fer ye.“

”Yet another as great as this comb?”

“Even so, thank ye, fer I have here in my right hip pocket, generally, the twin of the that comb.” So saying Ray reached around into his right pocket, fetched forth his knife that was the twin of the comb, and pressed the button.

“Whoa!”peeped the Kinglet.

Then Ray also fetched forth a needle, tossed it a-fore the startled visage of the Kinglet and with a flick of his wrist did cleave the needle in twain, lengthwise.

“Ye may keep that needle, both the twain halves fer a souvenir, but ye may not handle the knife, Kinglet, fer the knife is perilous to any that would handle it but me, Ray.”

The astonished Kinglet did then stoop before Ray and gather the twain halves of the needle up, fer a souvenir.

“What other accomplishments can this unprecedented knife perform, cousin Ray.”

“Ha! This I will tell ye. cousin Kinglet. For any target I think upon, then can I toss this knife and it will smite that target point first.”

“Heh, heh. Then think upon this. There is a picture round the corner of a fat man with a red nose and low morals, my predecessor as Kinglet. Toss this knife and smite that picture on its red nose and I shall grant whatever boon you shall request.”

“All righty then.” And Ray tossed the knife and it flew out of the Oval Office and round the corner and wherever else it needed to go.

“Let’s go see where it went, cousin Ray.”

So then Ray followed the Kinglet along to where the picture was hung and there was Ray’s switchblade, still quivering, inserted point first in the red nose of the Kinglet’s predecessor’s picture.

“Unprecedented” exclaimed the Kinglet, excitedly.