Ray’s Thought for the Day - A Druid Calendar for These Parts
All righty then. I, Ray Pistrum, Sun God Trainee, am fixing to get the Druidry in these parts better organized. What we need to get better organized is a good calendar. So I have been fixing up a calendar appropriate to these parts. I have received considerable help in this massive undertaking from Ms. Olwen White Track, Moon Goddess and Girlfriend, and from my bosom companion, Crumby. Actually, Crumby’s input is not quite ready yet, delayed by his near fatal ear ache and annual worthiness trial.
Where to start?
I have given this considerable thought. Since the annual events of our little globe ride around in an elliptical pattern, any choice of a starting point describing those events must necessarily be an arbitrary choice. I’m just the right Sun God Trainee for an arbitrary choice now or again, so easy that. The starting date for the official CB Druid Calendar is Winter Solstice Day, just past. And since we are here considering an elliptical pattern, Winter Solstice Day is the penultimate end day too. Winter Solstice Day is the beginning and the penultimate end of the annual trip. Easy that.
Now forgive me, but you may notice a Sun God bias in this calendar. But that’s probably OK, because I’m a Sun God Trainee. Anyway, the Winter Solstice is a good place to start a calendar because of all the great history surrounding the Winter Solstice. The Winter Solstice is when the Goddess considers all the Sun God Trainees as potential replacements for the Sun God. Sometimes She needs to discard the old one for a newer and better one. Then, if She decides She needs a new one, the old one is ritually sacrificed with great attention to particular details of the ritual sacrifice.
The seasons of the calendar.
Since we are overtly concerned at the CB with all the little wonders of Her Nature, the seasons should reflect on the conditions those little wonders should anticipate. The season we are encountering for the nonce, for example, has precipitation generally exceeding evapotranspiration. That’s a good thing. So let's start the season off in good season in the neighborhood of the Winter Solstice. Considering Winter Solstice Day in these parts, we find that the First Day is hedged about, weather wise, with nights and even some days, mornings mostly, of frost and occasional hard frost or hoar frost. These days go back along the old year and forward into this new year. How far back and how far forward? Easy that, back about 21 or 22 days and forward about 83 or 84 days for a total of about 105 or 106 days. The name of this season is, Polaris in honor of our friendly guide star and also in honor of the sadly waning Polar Bear.
Next up is the short season that follows, Polaris, or Polar Bear, fer short. It’s only 47 days long. The conditions for the little wonders are generally best during this time of the year. There may be some frost early on in the season, but it is not generally hard or hoar frost. It’s liable to rain some and that’s helpful. It’s not blistering hot all the time yet either. The name of this season is Hope Remains, named in honor of Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, one of my twain girlfriends.
Then, after the conclusion of Hope Remains, we get into Beelzebubberiffic, the season where all the litttle wonders have to watch out for inner thigh chafing events, red necks, evapotranspiration way exceeding preciptation, and many other Potential Safety Topics - Environmental Hazards generally involving no water. Beezebubberific is the longest dang season and is likely to get even longer in these parts. If we don’t somehow move the CB away from these parts, we shall doubtless have to revise this calendar to include an expanded Beelzebubberiffic Season. For the nonce though, Beelzebubberiffic, is set up at about 167 days.
After Beelzebubberriffic we journey on into a seaon remaining so far nameless. Arbitrarily again, with a view to maintaining domestic tranquility, or as Crumby might spell, We need to delimit this house full of strife, the final season is named Olwen, honoring my other girlfriend, Ms. Olwen White Track, Moon Goddess. Olwen’s days are numbered, 46.
Er. Now I need to count up the days of the four seasons.
Polaris or Polar Bear - 105 or 106 maybe
Hope Remains - 47
Beelzebubberiffic - 167
Olwen - 46
Hark! That’s close enough. The four seasons are all set up, two short and two long, as is proper for these parts.
Next, I have considered which holidays to insert in the season and where to put them all. OK.
The Important Holidays of the Calendar
We start off the year on Day 1 of the CB calendar as our first holiday. Winter Solstice. Then lickety split we journey on along the ellipse and Day 42 of that journey fetches us up to another holiday, Winter Weed Festival, known to the old timers as Imbolc. After that important celebration, off we go toward and eventually into Hope Remains Season bidding adieu to the Polar Bear. Our last Hope Day is on Day 133. We shall keep the old name, Beltane for Day 133, but also call it May Day. Workers of the World Unite, You have nought to lose, but yer chains!!!! Rig up the Naughty Pole!!!! Yippee!!!!
But our joy is short-lived because next day, Day 134 on our journey, begins the terrible ordeal of Beelzebubberiffic Season. Mercy! However, we have a few holidays to look forward to even during Beelzebubberiffic. The first of these is the Dang Summer Solstice, on day 183 or thereabouts. On this date our area of the little globe, Earth, is tilted at its closest to Ogma and Beelzebubberiffic is fixing to get too hot for man or beast.
Now we speed along through the sweltering heat to our next holiday, LleusDay, Day 223. This holiday is named in honor of Lugh the Lightbringer, sometimes known as Lugh the Long Armed, or in these parts, Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand, who happens to be temporarily employed at the CB as Crumby’s manservant. Now on this holiday, it’s seriously too hot for man or beast. In the absence of rain, only the irrigated and air-conditioned prosper. We ask the Goddess to speed us through this miserable holiday as expeditiously as possible.
On we go tripping along the ellipse, headed toward cooler times. After another 75 hot days, finally, 298 days into the year, on Day 298, Olwen falls upon the sweltering land. Mercy has arrived. Praise the Goddess!!!! But we push our next holiday along another 15 days just to make sure. So Day 313 is Samhuin, Harvest Fire, Survivors!!!! Yippee!!!! Then its 52 days to Winter Solstice again. After that, we start over.
It’s true, Samhuin is the last of our six official holidays for the year. But Druids are pretty smart. So those of us that have jobs celebrate all the official state holidays too, or actually just the ones that get us off work.
The Smaller Partitions or Portions of the Calendar
OK. Now all I need to do is divide this calendar up into some more manageable portions and name those partitions also. Here we go.
Polar Bear gets two portions named in honor of Crumby. Nervous Crumby and Moderated Crumby are those names. Hope Remains the Season is too short to get divided up. So is Olwen. Beelzebubberiffic gets three partitions; Early, Middling, and Tardy. That makes up six partitions averaging 60 days each. The seventh partition shall be of five or six days only, excised from Polar Bear. Ha!
All righty then. At last, good progress is being made on A Druid Calendar for These Parts.
Where to start?
I have given this considerable thought. Since the annual events of our little globe ride around in an elliptical pattern, any choice of a starting point describing those events must necessarily be an arbitrary choice. I’m just the right Sun God Trainee for an arbitrary choice now or again, so easy that. The starting date for the official CB Druid Calendar is Winter Solstice Day, just past. And since we are here considering an elliptical pattern, Winter Solstice Day is the penultimate end day too. Winter Solstice Day is the beginning and the penultimate end of the annual trip. Easy that.
Now forgive me, but you may notice a Sun God bias in this calendar. But that’s probably OK, because I’m a Sun God Trainee. Anyway, the Winter Solstice is a good place to start a calendar because of all the great history surrounding the Winter Solstice. The Winter Solstice is when the Goddess considers all the Sun God Trainees as potential replacements for the Sun God. Sometimes She needs to discard the old one for a newer and better one. Then, if She decides She needs a new one, the old one is ritually sacrificed with great attention to particular details of the ritual sacrifice.
The seasons of the calendar.
Since we are overtly concerned at the CB with all the little wonders of Her Nature, the seasons should reflect on the conditions those little wonders should anticipate. The season we are encountering for the nonce, for example, has precipitation generally exceeding evapotranspiration. That’s a good thing. So let's start the season off in good season in the neighborhood of the Winter Solstice. Considering Winter Solstice Day in these parts, we find that the First Day is hedged about, weather wise, with nights and even some days, mornings mostly, of frost and occasional hard frost or hoar frost. These days go back along the old year and forward into this new year. How far back and how far forward? Easy that, back about 21 or 22 days and forward about 83 or 84 days for a total of about 105 or 106 days. The name of this season is, Polaris in honor of our friendly guide star and also in honor of the sadly waning Polar Bear.
Next up is the short season that follows, Polaris, or Polar Bear, fer short. It’s only 47 days long. The conditions for the little wonders are generally best during this time of the year. There may be some frost early on in the season, but it is not generally hard or hoar frost. It’s liable to rain some and that’s helpful. It’s not blistering hot all the time yet either. The name of this season is Hope Remains, named in honor of Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, one of my twain girlfriends.
Then, after the conclusion of Hope Remains, we get into Beelzebubberiffic, the season where all the litttle wonders have to watch out for inner thigh chafing events, red necks, evapotranspiration way exceeding preciptation, and many other Potential Safety Topics - Environmental Hazards generally involving no water. Beezebubberific is the longest dang season and is likely to get even longer in these parts. If we don’t somehow move the CB away from these parts, we shall doubtless have to revise this calendar to include an expanded Beelzebubberiffic Season. For the nonce though, Beelzebubberiffic, is set up at about 167 days.
After Beelzebubberriffic we journey on into a seaon remaining so far nameless. Arbitrarily again, with a view to maintaining domestic tranquility, or as Crumby might spell, We need to delimit this house full of strife, the final season is named Olwen, honoring my other girlfriend, Ms. Olwen White Track, Moon Goddess. Olwen’s days are numbered, 46.
Er. Now I need to count up the days of the four seasons.
Polaris or Polar Bear - 105 or 106 maybe
Hope Remains - 47
Beelzebubberiffic - 167
Olwen - 46
Hark! That’s close enough. The four seasons are all set up, two short and two long, as is proper for these parts.
Next, I have considered which holidays to insert in the season and where to put them all. OK.
The Important Holidays of the Calendar
We start off the year on Day 1 of the CB calendar as our first holiday. Winter Solstice. Then lickety split we journey on along the ellipse and Day 42 of that journey fetches us up to another holiday, Winter Weed Festival, known to the old timers as Imbolc. After that important celebration, off we go toward and eventually into Hope Remains Season bidding adieu to the Polar Bear. Our last Hope Day is on Day 133. We shall keep the old name, Beltane for Day 133, but also call it May Day. Workers of the World Unite, You have nought to lose, but yer chains!!!! Rig up the Naughty Pole!!!! Yippee!!!!
But our joy is short-lived because next day, Day 134 on our journey, begins the terrible ordeal of Beelzebubberiffic Season. Mercy! However, we have a few holidays to look forward to even during Beelzebubberiffic. The first of these is the Dang Summer Solstice, on day 183 or thereabouts. On this date our area of the little globe, Earth, is tilted at its closest to Ogma and Beelzebubberiffic is fixing to get too hot for man or beast.
Now we speed along through the sweltering heat to our next holiday, LleusDay, Day 223. This holiday is named in honor of Lugh the Lightbringer, sometimes known as Lugh the Long Armed, or in these parts, Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand, who happens to be temporarily employed at the CB as Crumby’s manservant. Now on this holiday, it’s seriously too hot for man or beast. In the absence of rain, only the irrigated and air-conditioned prosper. We ask the Goddess to speed us through this miserable holiday as expeditiously as possible.
On we go tripping along the ellipse, headed toward cooler times. After another 75 hot days, finally, 298 days into the year, on Day 298, Olwen falls upon the sweltering land. Mercy has arrived. Praise the Goddess!!!! But we push our next holiday along another 15 days just to make sure. So Day 313 is Samhuin, Harvest Fire, Survivors!!!! Yippee!!!! Then its 52 days to Winter Solstice again. After that, we start over.
It’s true, Samhuin is the last of our six official holidays for the year. But Druids are pretty smart. So those of us that have jobs celebrate all the official state holidays too, or actually just the ones that get us off work.
The Smaller Partitions or Portions of the Calendar
OK. Now all I need to do is divide this calendar up into some more manageable portions and name those partitions also. Here we go.
Polar Bear gets two portions named in honor of Crumby. Nervous Crumby and Moderated Crumby are those names. Hope Remains the Season is too short to get divided up. So is Olwen. Beelzebubberiffic gets three partitions; Early, Middling, and Tardy. That makes up six partitions averaging 60 days each. The seventh partition shall be of five or six days only, excised from Polar Bear. Ha!
All righty then. At last, good progress is being made on A Druid Calendar for These Parts.
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, January 01, 2007
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