US Culture Today - An Intermittent Newsy News Feature Provided by the Druid News Service (DNS) - Ms. Hope Remains, Reporting

Hello there regular people and boys. This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter for the DNS. Today, utilizing my unimaginable Druidic Powers, I have actually transformed myself into a C-O-O molecule and allowed myself to be inhaled by the Kinglet. Then, continuing to employ incredible Druidic directional capabilities I navigated to right here. I am deep inside the Kinglet’s noggin, in that part of the Kinglet’s brain where the Kinglet processes all those worrisome loose ends. Goodness! There are a great many loose ends the Kinglet frets over, especially those aggravating strings on his sweat suits and pajamas. But those strings need not concern us here. Goodness, except on those occasions when the Kinglet might employ his presidential powers to strike out when he is aggravated by his pajama strings. Yikes! Our Kinglet may have taken punitive action against tiny foreign babies because his pajama strings were knotted up. Mercy!!!!

Uh, oh. The Kinglet is considering all the loose ends he must tie up, in his official capacity as temporary Kinglet, in the next two years, before he is finally turned out of the White Palace, maybe. Here we go.
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Uh, I, the Kinglet now have the power to arrest anyone, anywhere, never bring charges against them, uh, torture and kill them, with no questions asked. Check. No loose ends there.

Uh, I, the Kinglet now have the power to introduce the flat tax plus no air conditioning to the miserable Iranians, just like the miserable Iraqis. I need to go ahead and do that. Check. No loose ends there.

Uh, I the Kinglet need to continue prevaricating on health care, these wonderful climate improvements, immigration and all those other US culture news items that don’t effect me. Check. No loose ends there.

Uh, I am doing so swell as Kinglet, why can’t I stay on forever, or until I die, maybe? Everyone knows that I, the rightful Kinglet, am the only one who can keep the Homeland safe. I may need to stay on awhile longer than two years. I shall order the minions to get to work on that option. No check. Uh, loose end.
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Mercy. That’s all I, Hope Remains, can take. My molecular bonds are weakening and I have to get out of here. Goodness gracious sakes alive!!!! The Kinglet, or his legacy, maybe, wants to stay in the White Palace, forever. This is Ms. Hope Remains, signing off for the DNS. Watch out for the Wickerman!!!!