Magnus the Busboy, Part 7
Part 7
Yes. The WG had been forced to clasp both the time and space situated out in the front yard to Her Ample Bosoms. But now, having concluded a mutually satisfactory arrangement with Upup, Lord God of Gravity, the WG let loose of both time and space out in the front yard. There they went, temporarily, to 1/3 normal for those parts, just long enough, at 1/3 normal to allow Magnus to land on his feet like a cat. Once that cat like leap was effected, time and space went back to full normal out in the front yard.
Here’s your telescope, elderly Druid sir, safe and sound.
Thank you young man. That was quite a leap. That leap has now been memorized. I am now comparing that leap to all the other leaps I have espied. Anon, I shall rank that leap among the rest of the leaps. But I can assure you young man, that leap shall rank among the top four. Would you like to see an electropictoid representation of your leap at apogee?
Yes sir.
Sure enough, the elderly Druid had managed to get an electropictoid of Magnus at apogee. Now for all time, Bran’s prophecy, that Magnus would rise to great heights, yet not for the last time, was confirmed, electrically.
That’s a great electropictoid, elderly Druid. There I am, frozen in time and space, in mid-somersault, cradling an expensive telescope, for all time.
Yes, young man. There you are, saving my Questar. If you get the rest of my gear off loaded, I shall give you a silver dollar. Don’t let me forget to give you a silver dollar later, if you get the rest of my gear down safely. But now young man, you need to put the great ladder back up.
Yes, elderly Druid.
Meantime the little dogs were confused. They all wondered, Where did that pig go? That pig was right here just a while back. Where did that pig go? All the little dogs strained forward in their harnesses, trying to catch a whiff of the pig that had disappeared right before their eyes and nasty little noses. But the elderly Druid conveyance driver had by now cranked back on the great lever, so the little dogs could make no more progress.
Blodeuwedd! Pet these little dogs while I confer with these elderly Druids. Keep those little dogs quiet. I see now that my obliging busboy is fixing to get back on the ladder. Can’t have that. Why, I could spend eternity cuddling Upup should Magnus get back on that great ladder. Can’t have that.
Yes Granny. Can I unharness them?
Sure. Just don’t let them all start running around. Keep them in one general spot.
OK Granny.
Elderly Druids, the WG cried out. You are most welcome, unusual paying customers. I am Cerridwen, senior most of the Triplet Goddess. Welcome to the WG Bar and Grill. However, you should leave all your gear in your cart. Your gear shall be perfectly safe, in your cart. There is no need for my busboy, Magnus, to unload all your gear. Just leave it there, in the cart.
Cerridwen was utilizing her most commanding and booming voice to communicate her thoughts to the elderly Druids. That’s because, She rightly assumed the ears of those elderly Druids were not what they once were, functionally. But also, Cerridwen was actually spelling those elderly Druids, commanding them not to unload their cart, which effort might take all night.
My grand daughter, Blodeuwedd here, shall see to your dog train. Fear not. She has all these little dogs under control. Dismount, and come inside.
But the elderly Druid who was already dismounted wanted to know, Cerridwen, WG, should I have this young man bestow my Questar up in the cart where it shall be safe?
No. Any gear that is already down, needs to come inside too, the WG shouted back. Magnus hold the ladder while the additional elderly Druids dismount. Then all of you come inside.
Espying that the natural order was restored to the front yard, the WG left Blodeuwedd in charge and headed back through the crack to help Arianrhod make ready for the unusual paying customers that were about to arrive inside at any nonce. But wearied from Her great labor out in the front yard, and espying that Arianrhod had everything under control, the WG retired to her boudoire, to rest up.
The beautiful Blodeuwedd, meantime, was busy petting the three fifties of little dogs, providing each with a nice treat and putting them to sleep, temporarily. Soon each of the three fifties of little dogs was asleep. Each of those little dogs assumed its favorite sleeping posture. Each little dog dreamed happily, that it was off in the woods, murdering a rodent. Occasionally a little sleeping dog, yelped or twitched, murderously.
At last, Magnus assisted the final of the four elderly Druids down the ladder. Thank you, young man. Remind me to give you a silver dollar, later.
Magnus wondered if he would actually get any silver dollars from these elderly Druids. How am I supposed to remind this elderly Druid about my silver dollar? For one thing, I may not be capable of telling this particular elderly Druid from the rest of them, except for the one with the Questar. That one with the Questar owes me a silver dollar too. But what if that one hands the Questar off to an alternative elderly Druid? If that ones hands it off, I may remind the wrong one about the silver dollar I have coming to me.
Yes. It is true. The quartet of elderly Druids that had lately arrived by dog train at the WG Bar and Grill resembled four peas in a pod. In fact, they made every effort to closely resemble one another. All four wore identical white cone hats. All four were white headed, mostly from the paint. All four had tattooed their eye sockets blue. All four had on blue sack dresses embroidered with sun and moon sigil. All had on green brownie pants under the sack dresses. And all of them had on identical poop repellent boots, purchased, no doubt, from the world renowned Pryderi Shoe and Boot Emporium. Heck. Magnus could not even espy what sexes they were, if any.
Magnus next chore; help all the elderly Druids up on the porch. That sounds fairly easy. Yet, even getting them herded over to the porch in a foursome dispirited Magnus. That’s because those elderly Druids were easily distracted by this or that. Off one of them charged, chasing a bug. One of them was crawling around on the ground looking for something or other. Another one tried to head off into the adjacent woodlot, hollering excitedly. Which elderly Druid was up to what? Magnus knew not.
So the beautiful Blodeuwedd, espying Magnus’s discomfiture and slow progress toward the porch with only 25% of the elderly Druid quartet in tow, had pity on the busboy and showed mercy.
Blodeuwedd cried out. Attention unusual paying customers! Attention elderly Druids! Supper is now being served at the WG Bar and Grill. If you hurry along, your supper shall be piping hot. If you fool around, more, your supper shall get cold. Plus, if you come along with Magnus at this very nonce, you shall all receive complimentary copies of my Mama’s Annotated Checklist of the Flora and Fauna of These Parts.
With that, Blodeuwedd caught the attention of the elderly Druids. We all get a free checklist the elderly Druids exclaimed excitedly. But Magnus still had to help them all up on the porch. Thank you, young man, remind me to give you a silver dollar, later.
Yes. The WG had been forced to clasp both the time and space situated out in the front yard to Her Ample Bosoms. But now, having concluded a mutually satisfactory arrangement with Upup, Lord God of Gravity, the WG let loose of both time and space out in the front yard. There they went, temporarily, to 1/3 normal for those parts, just long enough, at 1/3 normal to allow Magnus to land on his feet like a cat. Once that cat like leap was effected, time and space went back to full normal out in the front yard.
Here’s your telescope, elderly Druid sir, safe and sound.
Thank you young man. That was quite a leap. That leap has now been memorized. I am now comparing that leap to all the other leaps I have espied. Anon, I shall rank that leap among the rest of the leaps. But I can assure you young man, that leap shall rank among the top four. Would you like to see an electropictoid representation of your leap at apogee?
Yes sir.
Sure enough, the elderly Druid had managed to get an electropictoid of Magnus at apogee. Now for all time, Bran’s prophecy, that Magnus would rise to great heights, yet not for the last time, was confirmed, electrically.
That’s a great electropictoid, elderly Druid. There I am, frozen in time and space, in mid-somersault, cradling an expensive telescope, for all time.
Yes, young man. There you are, saving my Questar. If you get the rest of my gear off loaded, I shall give you a silver dollar. Don’t let me forget to give you a silver dollar later, if you get the rest of my gear down safely. But now young man, you need to put the great ladder back up.
Yes, elderly Druid.
Meantime the little dogs were confused. They all wondered, Where did that pig go? That pig was right here just a while back. Where did that pig go? All the little dogs strained forward in their harnesses, trying to catch a whiff of the pig that had disappeared right before their eyes and nasty little noses. But the elderly Druid conveyance driver had by now cranked back on the great lever, so the little dogs could make no more progress.
Blodeuwedd! Pet these little dogs while I confer with these elderly Druids. Keep those little dogs quiet. I see now that my obliging busboy is fixing to get back on the ladder. Can’t have that. Why, I could spend eternity cuddling Upup should Magnus get back on that great ladder. Can’t have that.
Yes Granny. Can I unharness them?
Sure. Just don’t let them all start running around. Keep them in one general spot.
OK Granny.
Elderly Druids, the WG cried out. You are most welcome, unusual paying customers. I am Cerridwen, senior most of the Triplet Goddess. Welcome to the WG Bar and Grill. However, you should leave all your gear in your cart. Your gear shall be perfectly safe, in your cart. There is no need for my busboy, Magnus, to unload all your gear. Just leave it there, in the cart.
Cerridwen was utilizing her most commanding and booming voice to communicate her thoughts to the elderly Druids. That’s because, She rightly assumed the ears of those elderly Druids were not what they once were, functionally. But also, Cerridwen was actually spelling those elderly Druids, commanding them not to unload their cart, which effort might take all night.
My grand daughter, Blodeuwedd here, shall see to your dog train. Fear not. She has all these little dogs under control. Dismount, and come inside.
But the elderly Druid who was already dismounted wanted to know, Cerridwen, WG, should I have this young man bestow my Questar up in the cart where it shall be safe?
No. Any gear that is already down, needs to come inside too, the WG shouted back. Magnus hold the ladder while the additional elderly Druids dismount. Then all of you come inside.
Espying that the natural order was restored to the front yard, the WG left Blodeuwedd in charge and headed back through the crack to help Arianrhod make ready for the unusual paying customers that were about to arrive inside at any nonce. But wearied from Her great labor out in the front yard, and espying that Arianrhod had everything under control, the WG retired to her boudoire, to rest up.
The beautiful Blodeuwedd, meantime, was busy petting the three fifties of little dogs, providing each with a nice treat and putting them to sleep, temporarily. Soon each of the three fifties of little dogs was asleep. Each of those little dogs assumed its favorite sleeping posture. Each little dog dreamed happily, that it was off in the woods, murdering a rodent. Occasionally a little sleeping dog, yelped or twitched, murderously.
At last, Magnus assisted the final of the four elderly Druids down the ladder. Thank you, young man. Remind me to give you a silver dollar, later.
Magnus wondered if he would actually get any silver dollars from these elderly Druids. How am I supposed to remind this elderly Druid about my silver dollar? For one thing, I may not be capable of telling this particular elderly Druid from the rest of them, except for the one with the Questar. That one with the Questar owes me a silver dollar too. But what if that one hands the Questar off to an alternative elderly Druid? If that ones hands it off, I may remind the wrong one about the silver dollar I have coming to me.
Yes. It is true. The quartet of elderly Druids that had lately arrived by dog train at the WG Bar and Grill resembled four peas in a pod. In fact, they made every effort to closely resemble one another. All four wore identical white cone hats. All four were white headed, mostly from the paint. All four had tattooed their eye sockets blue. All four had on blue sack dresses embroidered with sun and moon sigil. All had on green brownie pants under the sack dresses. And all of them had on identical poop repellent boots, purchased, no doubt, from the world renowned Pryderi Shoe and Boot Emporium. Heck. Magnus could not even espy what sexes they were, if any.
Magnus next chore; help all the elderly Druids up on the porch. That sounds fairly easy. Yet, even getting them herded over to the porch in a foursome dispirited Magnus. That’s because those elderly Druids were easily distracted by this or that. Off one of them charged, chasing a bug. One of them was crawling around on the ground looking for something or other. Another one tried to head off into the adjacent woodlot, hollering excitedly. Which elderly Druid was up to what? Magnus knew not.
So the beautiful Blodeuwedd, espying Magnus’s discomfiture and slow progress toward the porch with only 25% of the elderly Druid quartet in tow, had pity on the busboy and showed mercy.
Blodeuwedd cried out. Attention unusual paying customers! Attention elderly Druids! Supper is now being served at the WG Bar and Grill. If you hurry along, your supper shall be piping hot. If you fool around, more, your supper shall get cold. Plus, if you come along with Magnus at this very nonce, you shall all receive complimentary copies of my Mama’s Annotated Checklist of the Flora and Fauna of These Parts.
With that, Blodeuwedd caught the attention of the elderly Druids. We all get a free checklist the elderly Druids exclaimed excitedly. But Magnus still had to help them all up on the porch. Thank you, young man, remind me to give you a silver dollar, later.
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, February 02, 2008
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