The Obscure Grasshopper (Opeia obscura)

Aptly named, this little grasshopper mimics the dead vegetation. Yes. Lots of the vegetation is bleached white so this grasshopper fits right in. Check out those antennae. Huh-huh.

Yes grasshopper, I am returned from jury duty, 50 dollars richer. Even better, I got a nice certificate which indicates that I personally made a contribution to the administration of justice. And that means, supposedly, I am off the hook for jury duty now for three years. All righty then!

Turns out, jury duty was not so bad. The trial was fairly entertaining. It took less than two days. Everyone was nice to me. Nobody touched me after I got officially across the bar. And now I don’t have to fret over jury duty for three years, maybe. Not bad.

Actually, if the pay was just a little better, or included per diem, I could see becoming a professional juror. That’s right, 40 bucks a day plus two free meals might entice me into the juror profession. Hey. The job is air conditioned. Nobody minds if you take a little nap. You get breaks. It’s easy. Especially compared to werkin’ in the sun. Yes. I would easily rather be a juror than have to work hard like the Obscure Grasshopper.

OK. This trial is the Cattleman’s Association versus the Obscure Grasshopper, The charges are that this Obscure Grasshopper did browse upon all the Poaceae to the detriment of the Cattleman’s Association and the Association’s property, the cows, that those same cows did alas mostly starve to death or grow sickly from lack of nourishment, that both predators and parasites did thereupon, discovering those said remaining cows in a sickly state, descend upon those sick cows until such time as those very sickly surviving cows in that particular place and time did then also succumb to attacks by the predators, parasites or both predators and parasites and all those remaining sickly cows did then die miserable lingering deaths.

The plaintiff then, is demanding restitution from the Obscure Grasshopper for all the dead cows. Once the Grasshopper has made restitution for all those dead cows, the Grasshopper shall then be taken to a place of the State’s Choosing and on that spot or site shall be mercilessly set upon by savage Tarantulas. Yea verily, there in that grim spot or site the Grasshopper shall be eaten up by those big, hairy spiders. No mercy!