What Telescope Should I Take to Puerto Rico?

Good Goddess! Does anyone know how far south Puerto Rico is? Fuckin’ A. Course some know. But what that means, Puerto Rico being situated fairly far south, is that an average amateur astronomer needs to have a telescope handy if he, she or perhaps that person is of the hermaphrodite persuasion, an it, or dudit, ever chances to visit that fabled isle, Puerto Rico.

Hold it! Moon is bright and up all night over Puerto Rico. Uh-oh! Oh well! Moon is up plus Centaurus is down. Dern! Well what else is up? Grus! Grus and Microscopium! Norma! Fuck me!

OK. I was fixing to take the Bushnell Family Table Top Model to Puerto Rico. But considering all the facts, I may not take that particular telescope, or any telescope. No. I don’t need a telescope for Puerto Rico comparing benefits versus aggravation. That’s because the naked celestial wonders that might require a telescope, that I might wish to espy via that telescope, in Puerto Rico, that I can’t espy here, are mostly invisible at that time in that place, Puerto Rico. Er! Dang! I shall make do with my severely trusty 10x42 Nikon Superior Elite for star gazing in Puerto Rico.

But hey dudits! If I severely needed to, I could take the Bushnell Family Table Top Model on a plane ride to Puerto Rico. That’s some serious shit to remember. All righty then.

OK! Here's some explanation for the previous like picture including Popeye. Popeye, as all good Druids know is the neo-modern expression of Cuchulian. But what about that pipe. That pipe is stuffed full of either Canabis or a delicious tobacco product. How come Popeye gets to smoke? Ever ask yourself that? Popeye gets that stuff, why not me?