Frostweed, Mammy!

It’s a good thing Crumby’s sample verb virgin, freezeweed, frostweed sample, Mammy!, is situated just a few cubits from the back door. That’s correct. The sample plant is only baby steps off the back porch. Which means that fixing to take its picture, Mammy!, is no big adventure. If fixing to take its picture was a big adventure, like maybe involving getting cold upper buttocks, Crumby would possibly disincline the adventure, entirely, maybe.

Yes Mammy. The bitter cold holds the CB in a, uh, grip. Crumby was fixing to spell, icy grip. Yet the precipitation has not fallen. So apart from the verb virgin, Mammy!, the CB is frost, hoar frost, rime, ice, sleet, hail and snow free.

This is the fifth time the sample verb virgin has gone off, Mammy! It started going off about 10PM. By this morning it had gone off plenty more and looked like this. Obviously, the xylem and phloem highways or elevators contained inside these seemingly dead stalks are still somehow functioning. Yes. Precious water is drawn out of the earth by these thirsty dead stalks. Then the water is extruded as ice. After that, the ice may melt. Once the ice melts, the resulting water may evaporate. When the water evaporates, that precious water is unavailable to the little human children who would like to have that water for potty flush. Mammy!

Well. Tough shit for the little human children. Those little children are lucky the Druids of old aren’t around. If those old timey Druids were around, the little children would have plenty more to worry about than potty flushes.

But what about the rest of the verb virgins at the CB? Are they going off. Yes Mammy. Well. All the ones near the back porch are still going off. However, many of the verb virgins at the CB grow away far off the back porch, sometimes in virtually impenetrable thickets, separated by vast pastures of plenty. To reach all those verb virgins, Crumby would need to take a chance on getting his upper buttocks frost bit. Can’t have that. So those wild verb virgins have not been sampled. Chances are though, they went off multiple times, too.

About all that remains now is to espy how many times the sample frostweed goes off. Course, the weather has to warm up before it can go off again. Also, Crumby wonders if he could increase the number of going off events with irrigation. Like maybe Crumby ought to water the dead frostweed, thus denying the little children even more precious water for potty flushing.

At this time and place in outer space, photo documentation is provided for four of the five sample verb virgin going off events. The fourth event is the one with no picture provided. The picture of the fourth event is a worse picture than usual due to camera shake. However, Crumby may include that picture on this venue if a world record or history is at stake.

Mammy! Football! All the real men and boys wanted to watch the game. So to be sociable, Crumby set in on a little of the second half. Praise Mammy! Now Crumby can talk about the most important football game of this decade, to date, with the real guys should the necessity for such a conversation arise, alas. Yet Crumby went to sleep in his Lazy Boy when the score was 31-21. So naturally, Crumby shall forever believe the final score of the Bama/TU butt whoopin’ was. 31-21.