Bad Karma

It’s a good thing that karma does not apply to inanimate objects like bicycles. Because if it did, Crumby would rot in Hades for all eternity or maybe come back to Earth, the home planet of many, as a Rick Perry style evil doer, liar and sissy. How pitiful would that be?

Yes. The truth is, every time one of Crumby’s crumby cars broke when Crumby didn’t have the time or money to fix said vehicle, Crumby would wind up on a bicycle for a while. But all Crumby did with those bikes ever, was ride them. Those bikes were always maintenance free. Except for a Montgomery Ward bicycle that came with a defective bottom bracket. Crumby tried to fix that one because it’s hard to ride on over to the liquor store on wobbly pedals. Goodness!

But now, Crumby is fixing to atone for his many and long lasting bicycle sins or sinfulness of omission. Yes. Crumby is fixing to start repairing and maintaining his twain bicycles as if they must last forever. Which obviously, they don’t. But never mind that. They might theoretically need to last a while, maybe.

Today, at the grocery store, Crumby took a hard look at all the bikes locked up on the racks. Besides Crumby’s Red Blade, there were four other bikes. But only Crumby’s bike was covered in crud. The other four bikes were clean as a whistle; jaunty as Mary the Virgin faunching about on the shores of Galilee, pre-baby Hayseus.

So that’s it. The final or last omen or ovate has been received. Time to clean up the bikes. Mercy!