Hoof Rats Devour Yellow Watermelon

Karl the Tracker Druid had a client that was plagued by hoofrats (Odocoileus virginiana). Those particualr hoofrats were voracious. They had goat like appetites, but were, of course, enormous in size when compared to mere goats.

Well. The hoofrats were eating Karl's anonymous client out of house and home. Something had to be done. But urban hoofrats are protected by law from harm. They can't be shot with bullet nor arrow, netted, speared, trapped, snared, lured into pits, run off cliffs, dogged, badgered, chivvied, subjected to pratfalls or any of the other usual activities humans ordinarily practice on hoofrats.

However, consider Roman candles. Karl's anonymous client decided to scare the hoofrats off with Roman candles. Trouble was, he, the anonymous client, didn't take the low humidity into account. Yes. The humidy on that dreadful night was low. So low that spit would never touch the ground, but instead, evaporated in mid-air. Yes. Far lower than your normal or average humidity for these parts. So when the very first or initial Roman candle got shot off at the very first hoofat, that gorgeous ball of pink fire caught the luckless hoofrat midship. Whoa! The hoofrat burst into flame, then tore off, blazing along, careening madly down the streets of Bee Caves, a shithole of the universe.

Alas. Turns out that shooting hoofrats with Roman candles may be illegal in Bee Caves. But Karl's anonymous client didn't wait to find out. He hooked it mighty quick. Which is how he became Karl the Tracker Druid's client in the first place.