Sak Collecting is Like the Temptation of Jesus
Jesus! You should eat the rest of that goat.
No. I am too full already.
As everyone in their right mind knows, Crumby is a tool-centric sac collector. Witness the arboreal related knives below. But what happens when a knife with beautiful scales is offered up on EBAY. Like for example, a Wenger Lancelot. Goodness!
OK. Well, Crumby already has a Wenger Champ, which is the same difference as the Lancelot, but with normal red plastic scales instead of the beautiful rampant, black metallic scales of the Lancelot. So what should Crumby do? Go temporarily non-tool-centric. For Goddess sake.
Then as some mortals and all the major, higher powers are aware, Crumby is also a cyclist. Yes. Crumby believes that the bicycle is the ultimate mode of transportation except for maybe the imaginary hypoallergenic horse. No. No. No. Actually, there is no way a horse qualifies. It would eat like a horse, hypoallergenic or not. But never mind that.
What might happen though if at the same identical time that Crumby was offered a Lancelot, he was also offered a Wenger Mountain Bike? Whoa! OK. Calm down.
Are any of the tools on the Mountain Bike actually worth a scum sucking pig? Like, would Crumby go off on a bike ride with the Mountain Bike, and expect that the Mountain Bike would do something useful, ever? Would Crumby rather go off on a ride with a scum sucking pig on a leash? It's a tough call.
But the above example, that almost stretches skyward to the level of a Druid Dichotomy, scale versus tool, is exactly what the sak collector can face in real life as Earth whirls about. Then, besides all that, there's sak configuration too. Like number of layers. And which tools per layer. Not to mention the twain potential brands. Another deal for the collector to deal withe. Jeez Louise! An average collector has to draw the line somewhere. Or go mad. Completely rectum boggling or buggering mad.
No. I am too full already.
As everyone in their right mind knows, Crumby is a tool-centric sac collector. Witness the arboreal related knives below. But what happens when a knife with beautiful scales is offered up on EBAY. Like for example, a Wenger Lancelot. Goodness!
OK. Well, Crumby already has a Wenger Champ, which is the same difference as the Lancelot, but with normal red plastic scales instead of the beautiful rampant, black metallic scales of the Lancelot. So what should Crumby do? Go temporarily non-tool-centric. For Goddess sake.
Then as some mortals and all the major, higher powers are aware, Crumby is also a cyclist. Yes. Crumby believes that the bicycle is the ultimate mode of transportation except for maybe the imaginary hypoallergenic horse. No. No. No. Actually, there is no way a horse qualifies. It would eat like a horse, hypoallergenic or not. But never mind that.
What might happen though if at the same identical time that Crumby was offered a Lancelot, he was also offered a Wenger Mountain Bike? Whoa! OK. Calm down.
Are any of the tools on the Mountain Bike actually worth a scum sucking pig? Like, would Crumby go off on a bike ride with the Mountain Bike, and expect that the Mountain Bike would do something useful, ever? Would Crumby rather go off on a ride with a scum sucking pig on a leash? It's a tough call.
But the above example, that almost stretches skyward to the level of a Druid Dichotomy, scale versus tool, is exactly what the sak collector can face in real life as Earth whirls about. Then, besides all that, there's sak configuration too. Like number of layers. And which tools per layer. Not to mention the twain potential brands. Another deal for the collector to deal withe. Jeez Louise! An average collector has to draw the line somewhere. Or go mad. Completely rectum boggling or buggering mad.
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, December 13, 2013
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