Crumby's Favorite SAK, Ever
Crumby spent part of today rummaging through the saks at the State Surplus Store. Dude, those saks are down and dirty. It's like you know how nothing inside an airplane gets cleaned, ever. Not the walls, the ceiling, the floor, the seats, nothing gets cleaned ever. An average passenger on an airplane must inure himself to that nastiness. Then hope to go thorough a sterilization process immediately after disembarking. Well handling those saks is like riding on an airplane. It's like touching surfaces that have been sneezed on a million times. Yet those sneezes have never been wiped up. Good Goddess!
What Crumby was searching for in all that oiliness of booger devouring germs was a particular sak that he probably lost on an airplane about 20 years ago. The sak we are now discussing was an 84mm Tinker with the round Phillips that features the can key slot.
In those days, Crumby flew so much he could get drunk on free Heinekens if the flight lasted long enough. Yes. In those days Southwest Airlines furnished its frequent fliers with free drink tickets. That's why Crumby bought stock in Southwest. Free drink tickets!
So one day Crumby is flying along and his trusty Tinker betrays him, slipping out of his pants pocket. Yet that was in the days before they confiscated your pocket knife. So someone else must have found Crumby's 84mm Tinker. Then, many years later, they forgot about it while fixing to board. Then the state confiscated it.
Who knows how long Crumby's Tinker lay at the bottom of the confiscated knife bin, covered in airplane goo? The poor little thing had so much goo on it, Crumby almost didn't recognize it. Like Crumby almost missed that it had a can key slot. That slot was gooed over. Ugh!
But now Crumby's 84mm Tinker has been sterilized. Plus, it is home at last. Restored to Crumby's loving bosom or pocket. His favorite sak, ever.
Course the 84mm Tinker as depicted is out of focus, since even the 8mm Rokinon can't focus down to 10cm. But that's OK because the identity of Crumby's restored Tinker needs to be protected anyway.
What Crumby was searching for in all that oiliness of booger devouring germs was a particular sak that he probably lost on an airplane about 20 years ago. The sak we are now discussing was an 84mm Tinker with the round Phillips that features the can key slot.
In those days, Crumby flew so much he could get drunk on free Heinekens if the flight lasted long enough. Yes. In those days Southwest Airlines furnished its frequent fliers with free drink tickets. That's why Crumby bought stock in Southwest. Free drink tickets!
So one day Crumby is flying along and his trusty Tinker betrays him, slipping out of his pants pocket. Yet that was in the days before they confiscated your pocket knife. So someone else must have found Crumby's 84mm Tinker. Then, many years later, they forgot about it while fixing to board. Then the state confiscated it.
Who knows how long Crumby's Tinker lay at the bottom of the confiscated knife bin, covered in airplane goo? The poor little thing had so much goo on it, Crumby almost didn't recognize it. Like Crumby almost missed that it had a can key slot. That slot was gooed over. Ugh!
But now Crumby's 84mm Tinker has been sterilized. Plus, it is home at last. Restored to Crumby's loving bosom or pocket. His favorite sak, ever.
Course the 84mm Tinker as depicted is out of focus, since even the 8mm Rokinon can't focus down to 10cm. But that's OK because the identity of Crumby's restored Tinker needs to be protected anyway.
posted by ray pistrum at Tuesday, September 02, 2014
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