Aint Rayetta Gives a Lesson

Aint Rayetta, can ye tell us about these here panic attacks that so troubled Crumby and Ray today and yet glanced off the rest of us. Whut er these panic attacks?

Well Sugarplum, excuse me, Sweetiepie! stop that woolgatherin' and pay attention so I won't have to repeat myself. All righty.

Yepper Aint Rayetta, I shall listen up.

All righty then. The panic attacks are manifestations of the universal wickedness that is intimately associated with lyin' and gluttony. Every time a lie is told or a glutton smacks its lips the universal wickedness has an opportunity to assume corporeality and scare the bejesus out of ye.

How come them panic attacks afflicted Ray and Crumby especially?

Easy that Sugarplum, Crumby was a Christian once and that makes him different than the rest of us. He has to constantly be on his guard against feeling guilty about everything and that takes lots of energy and wears him down so that he is more susceptible to the panic attacks.

But whut about Ray? He got hit too.

Yes, he did Sweetiepie, but Ray got hit because he is Crumby's bosom companion and is obliged to take a hit now and again for Crumby's sake.

That's interestin' Aint Rayetta, who'd a thought that about Ray. But how come we never had no panic attacks at Nancy's? We had nary a one, ever, so fer as I heared tell of. Ye ever heared a one Sugarplum?

Noper, I aint til now.

Well I, Rayetta have a theory on that. Ye have heard it spelled, I am sure, that "There aint no harm in Nancy". But there is much mischief in Nancy. And I think that no harm and mischief are so blended at the Joke Factory that panic can not abide there. Does that make sense?

Mebbe. There sure don't seem to be no panics at the Joke Factory no wise. So why don't Crumby just up and move in with Nancy and the rest of us at the Joke Factory?

Perhaps he will one of these days Sweetiepie. But I surmise that Crumby has a panic attack or two more to face down before that happens. Now what's on the agenda for you two tomorrow?

The Goddess of Reality Checks is takin' us, that is myself and Sweetiepie, to a school. She wants to see if there be somethin' thereabouts the school we don't already know. Aint that what she said Sweetiepie? I reckon she did Sugarplum, but that may be more of that I-ronnie nobody wants to tell us about.

Hmmmm. I spell some Tabby Labbers wising up.