Ray's Thought for the Day - Inner Thigh Chafes
George Wallace the late TV personality exclaimed often that he was proud to be a redneck, because rednecks derived "frum werkin' in the sun." Well, the WG has George now, so his redneck is lily white, maybe. Praise the Goddess. However, today's thought is the related to redneck subtopic, inner thigh chafing. Yesterday, I succeeded in achieving a personal high for an inner thigh chafing event.
Personally, and my bosom companion, the Crumby Ovate, backs me up 100%, I think inner thigh chafing rises to the top of the list of Potential Safety Topics - Environmental Hazards, and that the present condition of my chafes should be presented in this venue pictorially. Alas, the Arkdruid, not to mention my sister and the girlfriends, forbade a nice photolog of my present inner thigh chafing condition. I shall keep Raymone's interesting photos handy though, and perhaps vend them to interested parties at a later date.
For the present, the garment that best accouters the condition is my nice green bathing suit. The bathing suit is a little big, fer me, and it has a very soft liner. These attributes of the bathing suit are mitigative.
The chafes are of prodigious size as measured with a see-through metric ruler. The twain chafe ellipse shapes, one on each inner thigh in the scrotum vicinity, measure about 11cm in length x 4cm at the widest parts of the ellipses. Like George's neck they are bright red "frum werkin' in the sun," even though the thighs were not exposed directly to Ogma's wrath. Rather, the chafes resulted indirectly, Ogma's 103 degree wrath engendering the copious inner thigh moisture, which wetted the undears. The great friction of the wet undears chafing each alternative thigh was like unto badgers having a territorial dispute, maybe.
I tried various ointments out on the chafes with a view to easing my suffering. The only one that did any good is Triple Antibiotic Plus First Aid Antibiotic and Pain Relieving Ointment. The rest of those lotions and ointments made the chafes hurt worse.
Since I am fairly certain of periodic "werkin' in the sun" events up coming, and since Ogma is becoming more and more ferocious, I need to figure out a pre-emptive practice that will nix inner thigh chafing. For the nonce I am considering boxer shorts and a waterproof lubricative pre-applied.
Personally, and my bosom companion, the Crumby Ovate, backs me up 100%, I think inner thigh chafing rises to the top of the list of Potential Safety Topics - Environmental Hazards, and that the present condition of my chafes should be presented in this venue pictorially. Alas, the Arkdruid, not to mention my sister and the girlfriends, forbade a nice photolog of my present inner thigh chafing condition. I shall keep Raymone's interesting photos handy though, and perhaps vend them to interested parties at a later date.
For the present, the garment that best accouters the condition is my nice green bathing suit. The bathing suit is a little big, fer me, and it has a very soft liner. These attributes of the bathing suit are mitigative.
The chafes are of prodigious size as measured with a see-through metric ruler. The twain chafe ellipse shapes, one on each inner thigh in the scrotum vicinity, measure about 11cm in length x 4cm at the widest parts of the ellipses. Like George's neck they are bright red "frum werkin' in the sun," even though the thighs were not exposed directly to Ogma's wrath. Rather, the chafes resulted indirectly, Ogma's 103 degree wrath engendering the copious inner thigh moisture, which wetted the undears. The great friction of the wet undears chafing each alternative thigh was like unto badgers having a territorial dispute, maybe.
I tried various ointments out on the chafes with a view to easing my suffering. The only one that did any good is Triple Antibiotic Plus First Aid Antibiotic and Pain Relieving Ointment. The rest of those lotions and ointments made the chafes hurt worse.
Since I am fairly certain of periodic "werkin' in the sun" events up coming, and since Ogma is becoming more and more ferocious, I need to figure out a pre-emptive practice that will nix inner thigh chafing. For the nonce I am considering boxer shorts and a waterproof lubricative pre-applied.
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, August 17, 2006
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