Crumby’s Telescope Tomfoolery Notes - submitted by Lleu Llaw Guffes, Lion of the Steady Hand
True it is that my wicked behavior of past iterations has merited considerable payback from the Glorious White Goddess. These days, I find myself humbled, a former Prince of the Cymry, now a mere servant to the Crumby Ovate, at his beck and call, at his step and fetch it. For a brief respite while Crumby was banished into the Wilderness, I got some relief, but now I am saddled with him yet again. Mercy!
Briefly, I shall spell some of these tribulations that befell me this grim night. Oh yes. The Lovely Druidess Rayetta requires that if Crumby wants anything, I must tote it out from the house. One of the many items Crumby desired was an alarm clock, an old fashioned mechanical one. Crumby has the habit of sleeping at unusual intervals so that his rest upon the Ample Bosoms coincides with celestial non events. So this morning, the alarm of the clock awoke me at 3 AM, followed hard upon by commentary from my master.
Arise Lleu Llaw, my faithful servant, for you are restored to me here in this terrible wilderness and I deem you are some fine company fer me, indeed, so that you need to efficaciously set up the great red tube expeditiously. Move it out yonder under the eave so that the dew that is ever potential may not afflict it, but not so far under that the eave obscures our visage in the direction of the star that some call Alphard, but others call Alpha Hydra.
Eventually, I got the great red tube set to the requirements of the excited ovate.
Now, Lleu Llaw, get a fire going and make me some coffee and then after that, adjust the great red tube as guided by your Steady Hand so that a view of the star Alphard is centered within the confines of the great red tube for my perusal.
After all that was accomplished the ovate took a gander at Alphard and I hoped that was it and I could go back to sleep. But that was not, it.
Now, Lleu Llaw, we must espy Mu Hydra also. It is a star of similar orange color too Alphard and located somewhere down below Alphard so you must needs also find that one, fer me.
Alas, you may not believe it, but there are a great many orange stars beneath Alphard so that my search for Alphard impinged upon the patience of the excited Ovate.
Lleu Llaw, you must venture forth into the house and therein go to the laboratory and produce a star map centered on Alphard. Do so with alacrity for Ogma is fixing to betray me yet again. If you don’t know how to do the map, wake Ray up and get him to do it. If Ray won’t to do it, threaten to tell Rayetta on him.
Off I journeyed to the house and to the laboratory. Fortunately, I was able to accomplish the map making task myself. Anon, I returned into the cold, dark wilderness toting along the requested star map.
This map's backwards, pronounced the excited ovate upon my return. Go on back and make a new map and make sure the Constellation Leo is included and situated to the left of Alphard. Don’t screw up again, Lleu Llaw, for the fickle Ogma is fixing to betray me.
Yet again I traversed the cold darkness, wary as ever, alert to avoid the manure that so often afflicts my footgear in these circumstances. Anon, I returned to the Ovate, map in hand, and this one, Praise the Goddess, met his specifications so that after much endeavor I was able to determine that Upsilon Hydra was not Mu Hydra. One has to use Leo’s noggin for the triangulation and star hop. Yet I now realize that Upsilon and Mu were naked eye visible on this morning, barely, and aided by averted vision.
Then once I had found Mu for Crumby, he excitedly surveyed that star and its environs. Hark, he hollered, there it is. I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! Jupiter! Jupiter! I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! Jupiter! Jupiter! I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! Etc!
By then, according to Crumby’s alarm clock, the time was 5 AM. Crumby kept me busy for another half hour, fetching forth this or that eyepiece to aid in his perusal of Jupiter’s Ghost. Mercy!
All righty then, Lleu Llaw. I am happy to conclude the mornings observations. Now I shall turn again to the Ample Bosoms. And you, Lleu Llaw, may do so likewise, once the gear is all stowed away.
Mercy!!!!
Briefly, I shall spell some of these tribulations that befell me this grim night. Oh yes. The Lovely Druidess Rayetta requires that if Crumby wants anything, I must tote it out from the house. One of the many items Crumby desired was an alarm clock, an old fashioned mechanical one. Crumby has the habit of sleeping at unusual intervals so that his rest upon the Ample Bosoms coincides with celestial non events. So this morning, the alarm of the clock awoke me at 3 AM, followed hard upon by commentary from my master.
Arise Lleu Llaw, my faithful servant, for you are restored to me here in this terrible wilderness and I deem you are some fine company fer me, indeed, so that you need to efficaciously set up the great red tube expeditiously. Move it out yonder under the eave so that the dew that is ever potential may not afflict it, but not so far under that the eave obscures our visage in the direction of the star that some call Alphard, but others call Alpha Hydra.
Eventually, I got the great red tube set to the requirements of the excited ovate.
Now, Lleu Llaw, get a fire going and make me some coffee and then after that, adjust the great red tube as guided by your Steady Hand so that a view of the star Alphard is centered within the confines of the great red tube for my perusal.
After all that was accomplished the ovate took a gander at Alphard and I hoped that was it and I could go back to sleep. But that was not, it.
Now, Lleu Llaw, we must espy Mu Hydra also. It is a star of similar orange color too Alphard and located somewhere down below Alphard so you must needs also find that one, fer me.
Alas, you may not believe it, but there are a great many orange stars beneath Alphard so that my search for Alphard impinged upon the patience of the excited Ovate.
Lleu Llaw, you must venture forth into the house and therein go to the laboratory and produce a star map centered on Alphard. Do so with alacrity for Ogma is fixing to betray me yet again. If you don’t know how to do the map, wake Ray up and get him to do it. If Ray won’t to do it, threaten to tell Rayetta on him.
Off I journeyed to the house and to the laboratory. Fortunately, I was able to accomplish the map making task myself. Anon, I returned into the cold, dark wilderness toting along the requested star map.
This map's backwards, pronounced the excited ovate upon my return. Go on back and make a new map and make sure the Constellation Leo is included and situated to the left of Alphard. Don’t screw up again, Lleu Llaw, for the fickle Ogma is fixing to betray me.
Yet again I traversed the cold darkness, wary as ever, alert to avoid the manure that so often afflicts my footgear in these circumstances. Anon, I returned to the Ovate, map in hand, and this one, Praise the Goddess, met his specifications so that after much endeavor I was able to determine that Upsilon Hydra was not Mu Hydra. One has to use Leo’s noggin for the triangulation and star hop. Yet I now realize that Upsilon and Mu were naked eye visible on this morning, barely, and aided by averted vision.
Then once I had found Mu for Crumby, he excitedly surveyed that star and its environs. Hark, he hollered, there it is. I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! Jupiter! Jupiter! I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! Jupiter! Jupiter! I espy the Ghost of Jupiter! Etc!
By then, according to Crumby’s alarm clock, the time was 5 AM. Crumby kept me busy for another half hour, fetching forth this or that eyepiece to aid in his perusal of Jupiter’s Ghost. Mercy!
All righty then, Lleu Llaw. I am happy to conclude the mornings observations. Now I shall turn again to the Ample Bosoms. And you, Lleu Llaw, may do so likewise, once the gear is all stowed away.
Mercy!!!!
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, November 24, 2006
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