Hope Remains Returns, from Foreign Parts

Ray espies the arrival of a taxi cab at the CB even as the taxi enters the driveway. Ray rushes forth to greet the arrival of the taxi cab. Ray and Hope Remains hug.

Hope, you’re back. Praise the Goddess, you have returned from foreign parts in one piece.

Yes, I have Ray, narrowly. But my goodness gracious, that Kinglet, is running around like a spooked chicken and his evil ministers likewise, so even an Ace Reporter like me, can’t keep up. Land Sakes Alive, it sure is good to be home at the CB. Fetch all this stuff in Ray.

There is a great deal of stuff here, Hope.

Yepper Ray. Much baggage indeed may be acquired in foreign parts. There may be a present for you Ray, ensconced somewhere within all that baggage. Now I’m going on in. I’ll send some help on out to assist you with the baggage, Ray.

All righty then. I shall guard all this baggage until such help arrives.

Hope Remains sashays toward the CB front entrance leaving Ray to negotiate with the taxi hack and unload all the baggage. Handily, the Crumby Ovate happens to be alertly observing the newly returned Ace Reporter’s arrival from the safe confines of the CB living room. Hope and Crumby hug.

Goodness Crumby, you are so gaunt. What have you been up to?

I have been banished into the Wilderness for a long spell, with scant company and only a little milk and a fried pie or two for sustenance. But Rayetta has managed to get me back in the house on a trial basis. Lleu Llaw and Ray are monitoring me though. They have a schedule.

That’s nice Crumby. Crumby, go help Ray with all that baggage. Goodness, here’s Lleu Llaw Guffes, Lion of the Steady Hand.

Hope Remains and Lleu Llaw hug.

Lleu Llaw. See Ray out yonder guarding all that baggage. You and Crumby need to help Ray bring that baggage on in. There may be treats for you twain ensconced in that baggage.

But Crumby interjects for Lleu Llaw:

All righty then. I am fond of a treat, now and again. Have no fear, Hope Remains, for I, the Crumby Ovate, foretell that anon, succored somewhat by my faithful servant, the Lion of the Steady Hand, all that baggage shall be safely bestowed within the safe confines expeditiously.

That’s nice Crumby. You all tote all the baggage into the parlor for the nonce and everyone can assemble for their treats or presents. Now I need to go to the comfort station.

All righty then. Come on Lleu Llaw, for I espy that Ray is awaiting our aid and is not properly garbed to undergo the frigid atmospheric conditions current out in the driveway. Come to think on it. Perhaps we should avail ourselves of some outer garments ere we venture forth into the near-freezing temperatures out yonder in the driveway. Lleu Llaw, go fetch me my green jacket, red cap and white owl feather.

Then Lleu Llaw goes in search of outer garments, while Hope is avidly seeking out the Ladies’ Comfort Station. But when she arrives thereat, the way is barred. Knock, knock.

A beautiful lilting voices sings out: Oc-cu-pied.

Rayetta, let me in. I’m about to pee my pants.

Hmmm. Hold on Hope, while I tidy up the place with this air freshener. Nancy sent us a sample of Pansy Depoot Air Freshener from the Joke Factory. It’s entirely organic.

Hurry up Rayetta.

Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh-whoosh. Whoooooooooooosh. Ah. The wonderful aroma of pansies, cultivars of the Violaceae.

Goodness gracious Rayetta, let me in there.

Did you bring me a present?

Yes. It’s on its way to the parlor, maybe. Now let me in.

All righty then.

The comfort station door swings open to admit Hope, who rushes in as the Pansy Depoot rushes out. For it is in the nature of a gas, to disperse from greater to lesser concentration. And with the Pansy Depoot comes out also the Lovely Druidess, so that many would surmise that Rayetta was the source of the pansy aroma.

Ah-choo! Goodness gracious, Rayetta. Ah-chooo! Ah-choooo! Damn it!

Yet out in the driveway, Ray and Crumby are disputing over the baggage and withal Crumby is warmly attired in his favorite trooping fairy outfit while Ray is scantily clad.

Why didn’t you bring me out a jacket, Crumby?

Perhaps Ray, one might assume that one so far along in Sun God training as yourself, should not require a mere jacket for warmth. I know that an Ovate, such as me, might foretell, just that. And as a matter of historical fact, both Cu Chulian and Kai, could, at a comparable stage of their training, generate not only plenty of heat for themselves, but warm up their nearby mortal comrades, as well.

Fine. Great. Anyway let’s get all this in. We may need to make two trips.

All righty then. Lleu Llaw, lay your steady hand upon those large articles of baggage, while I engage with this particular luggage here, for I foretell that my treat lies within this one. Plus, no great burdens should I bear, given my condition, weakened from long suffering in the grim Wilderness.

But Ray feels the heat build within him, and his Sun God training bursts forth, beamed at the malingering Ovate with such fierceness that Crumby’s owl feather catches fire.

Cut it out Ray.

Ha! Ye didn’t ovate that coming, did ye Crumby?

Lleu Llaw, turn the garden hose on Ray. He’s liable to burn me up. Look whut he’s done to my owl feather. Dang it Ray. Yer gonna get it now fer ruinin’ my feather.

Ha! Spray away Lleu Llaw. No mere garden hose may douse my radiance. And as fer ye Crumby, ye may do yer worst, though for mine own honor and glory, I wouldst that yer condition was not so weakened.

Why ye guttering candle, I shall snuff ye out!

But as the bosom companions square off, a long shadow is cast their way and it is the shadow of the Lovely Druidess Rayetta, and with the shadow also is apparent, the scent of pansies.

You two quit fooling around and get that baggage in here this minute. Lleu Llaw, turn off that hose and assist Crumby and Ray with the baggage. Right now! Move it!

But Crumby tattles: Ray burnt up my feather, Rayetta.

And Ray sniffs the atmosphere: I smell pansies, Rayetta.

Now!!!!!

Anon, the baggage is eventually bestowed in the parlor and Hope is temporarily restored to the CB, at rest from her Ace Reporter labors. Everyone receives a nice treat or present. The bosom companions compare notes.

What did you get, Crumby?

A whole box of apricot bon mots. How about you Ray?

A booklet featuring menus of all the meals our ignoramus Kinglet enjoyed in foreign parts.

Really! What did he get for breakfast in Amman?

Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold, pease porridge in the pot, nine days old.