Potential Safety Topic, Environmental Hazard - Buffets

Many, especially this time of the year, are exposed to buffets. Yes. Even a solitary, hermit-like person such as me, Crumby, is sometimes required to participate in these dangerous events, generally against my will.

Crumby! You have to go to this one, this one and this one. You may skip this one, but I would really like for you to go to this one too. There shall be free food and treats.

From an ovational standpoint, it’s easy for me to foresee what shall happen at these buffets. I shall get sick. One or another of them shall make me, sick. That’s assuming the Wicker Man does not get me on the way to the buffet.

Once I dodge the Wicker Man, I notice the buffets are predictably alike. Everyone stands around in a hot house or lobby. All the people are close together. Too close together. Many of the people want to touch me, or they bump me, supposedly accidentally. Always, at least one of the persons present has a bunch of contagious germs. Anon, those contagious germs go airborne, heading straight up my trills. That’s why trimming your nose hairs this time of year is a bad idea. Those nose hairs may filter out some of the larger contagious germs. But only if left un-barbered.

Yepper, once all the contagious germs are airborne, they either go up my trills or settle out on the buffet. So essentially, there is no way to avoid those contagious germs. Besides the common influenza type germs, there may be food poisoning germs in the food. Plus, no telling, there could be every germ imaginable, a veritable germ orgy, all those libidinous germs cavorting on the luke-warm food. Given that sad fact of life, a person may catch cold, get food poisoning, or worse, simultaneously.

There’s no telling how many innocent Americanos are killed by buffets every year. The Wicker Man gets them as they go to and fro. The germs get them at the buffet. Some of them bust a gut, over-indulging. The toll must be high, yet no statistics are kept.

No statistics are kept. That’s because Americanos are retarded when it comes to threat analysis. Consequently, the threat publicity emphasizes remote, unlikely threats, while ignoring significant threats, like buffets. For example, how many Americanos figure a terrorist is fixing to get them, versus a buffet.

But the lure of free food and a free libation or two are powerful supposedly free lures. Yet there may be a hidden price. Take this Mallow Scrub Hairstreak for example. It went to a free buffet. And look what happened.