Ray's Thought for the Day - I Believe, I Believe, I Believe!
Did I watch Mitt the Mormon on TV? Course not. My noggin has been on OT, surmising, I Believe, I Believe, I Believe! If I had watched Mitt the Mormon on TV, I would have lacked the time for serious thought. I would have been distracted from, I Believe, I Believe, I Believe!
Believe is one of those funny spells. Almost, but not quite universally, as in usage these days, to believe, conjures a leap of faith. That’s why, to believe in the spell evolution, is ridiculous. No leap of faith is required. If a person does believe in evolution, that person is an ignoramus who does not know what evolution is all about. The spell, evolution, belongs entirely outside belief. It is a wholly, not holy, different animal.
But what about the spell, gravity. Gravity does not require a leap of faith, either. Yet, everyone believes in gravity, while only the smart know a little something about evolution. Gravity, unlike evolution, is most familiar to everyone, yet unknowable. Why does it work? Nobody knows. It just does. That’s why gravity is a law, and evolution is a theory.
OK. Now that we have all that plumb, what about giving gravity some religious significance? As some may know, Druids believe that the Power of the WG may be relatively localized in this solar system, excluding Pluto, plus parts of outer space where the WG maintains castle like tourist courts in the sky, like the famous Arianrhod’s Castle. Lately though, Druids have pondered the possibility that Gravity may be a Goddess, God, or Hermaphroditic Force of Nature that holds us all together, for good or evil.
So, we Druids have decided to Believe in Gravity, and not just in the trivial, mundane sense of believe. No. We have decided that gravity is the Ultimate Power Unknowable Person(UPUP) that holds us all together for Good or Evil. We believe we need to worship Gravity, Upup.
Gravity, our new Deity, works equally on both sexes. Therefore, we believe that Gravity, our new Deity, is a Hermaphrodite. That seems logical. But so as not to slight the utterly sexless that Gravity also works upon, we believe that Gravity is friendly to simple cell division.
Yes. We now believe Gravity is a very important Deity, more important even than the Ethereally Beautiful WG. But we caution, Gravity is only more important than our Beloved WG at various, select locations in outer space, airless outer space. But that is fairly significant for those airless spots so we also believe Gravity needs a secret Druidic name. Yes. A secret Druidic name for a Deity is a necessity for our various ceremonies and incantations.
Long we, that is, all the CB Druidry pondered,this afternoon, after I got home from werk. Finally, we hit upon the obvious name for our new Hermaphroditic Gravity Deity, Upup. We believe Upup should be pronounced, Oooopoop. So now Upup the Hermaphrodite, joins the WG, Bran the Blessed, and various other deities in our ever expanding pantheon. How about that!
So next time you do evil, evil doer, or good, goody two shoes, instead of congratulating your ignorant self, raise your hands. Yes. Raise your hand to the high heavens. Hold your hands up as long as you can. Then, eventually, they shall drop of their own accord. Why do they drop on their own? Easy that, the Power of Upup!!!!
Now I need to go do some research to see if anybody else, like some obscure heretic, has thought of gravity as the most logical of all deities before I did.
Praise the Goddess! Praise Upup!
Believe is one of those funny spells. Almost, but not quite universally, as in usage these days, to believe, conjures a leap of faith. That’s why, to believe in the spell evolution, is ridiculous. No leap of faith is required. If a person does believe in evolution, that person is an ignoramus who does not know what evolution is all about. The spell, evolution, belongs entirely outside belief. It is a wholly, not holy, different animal.
But what about the spell, gravity. Gravity does not require a leap of faith, either. Yet, everyone believes in gravity, while only the smart know a little something about evolution. Gravity, unlike evolution, is most familiar to everyone, yet unknowable. Why does it work? Nobody knows. It just does. That’s why gravity is a law, and evolution is a theory.
OK. Now that we have all that plumb, what about giving gravity some religious significance? As some may know, Druids believe that the Power of the WG may be relatively localized in this solar system, excluding Pluto, plus parts of outer space where the WG maintains castle like tourist courts in the sky, like the famous Arianrhod’s Castle. Lately though, Druids have pondered the possibility that Gravity may be a Goddess, God, or Hermaphroditic Force of Nature that holds us all together, for good or evil.
So, we Druids have decided to Believe in Gravity, and not just in the trivial, mundane sense of believe. No. We have decided that gravity is the Ultimate Power Unknowable Person(UPUP) that holds us all together for Good or Evil. We believe we need to worship Gravity, Upup.
Gravity, our new Deity, works equally on both sexes. Therefore, we believe that Gravity, our new Deity, is a Hermaphrodite. That seems logical. But so as not to slight the utterly sexless that Gravity also works upon, we believe that Gravity is friendly to simple cell division.
Yes. We now believe Gravity is a very important Deity, more important even than the Ethereally Beautiful WG. But we caution, Gravity is only more important than our Beloved WG at various, select locations in outer space, airless outer space. But that is fairly significant for those airless spots so we also believe Gravity needs a secret Druidic name. Yes. A secret Druidic name for a Deity is a necessity for our various ceremonies and incantations.
Long we, that is, all the CB Druidry pondered,this afternoon, after I got home from werk. Finally, we hit upon the obvious name for our new Hermaphroditic Gravity Deity, Upup. We believe Upup should be pronounced, Oooopoop. So now Upup the Hermaphrodite, joins the WG, Bran the Blessed, and various other deities in our ever expanding pantheon. How about that!
So next time you do evil, evil doer, or good, goody two shoes, instead of congratulating your ignorant self, raise your hands. Yes. Raise your hand to the high heavens. Hold your hands up as long as you can. Then, eventually, they shall drop of their own accord. Why do they drop on their own? Easy that, the Power of Upup!!!!
Now I need to go do some research to see if anybody else, like some obscure heretic, has thought of gravity as the most logical of all deities before I did.
Praise the Goddess! Praise Upup!
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, December 07, 2007
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