Ray’s Round Table - #9, St. Andrew, Holiday or Not
All righty. Today we are fixing to have a round table parley similar to those on Sunday morning TV. In the best tradition of Media Liberal TV, and Media Conservative TV, all my guests, plus me, have incestuous relationships. Today’s round table guests, just like last Sunday, are, Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, Druid News Service; Dr. Rayetta Pistrum, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta; and my bosom companion, Mr. Crumby Ovate.
Today’s Round Table topic is of an ecumenical nature, How Come I Didn’t Get Off Work Last Friday? First, some background. Last Friday week was St. Andrew’s Day. St. Andrew, when he was alive, did missionary work among the Scythians. Later, after he was crucified, some of his bones carried on with the missionary work in Scotland. So maybe, if I was werkin’ in the sun in Scythia, or Scotland, as opposed to the Austink vicinity, I would have got off work last Friday, maybe.
Ms. Remains, Ace Reporter for the DNS, Do you happen to know if anyone got off work last Friday in Scythia?
Why gracious sakes alive, Ray! There I was in the beautiful Scythian capital. The place was like a ghost town. Every one of those Scythians stayed home all day, praying to St. Andrew for martyrdom. Then they all ate sturgeon for supper.
That’s exactly what I thought. Nobody had to go to work in Scythia. Yet I had to go to work here. It’s not fair. What about Scotland, Dr. Pistrum? I suppose those Scots all got off too.
Not exactly Ray, Scotland was a mixed bag last Friday. Many worked, yet many called in sick, thanks to the bones. For example, the Presbyter Realty Company, Ltd. was open for business, but the janitor, Mr. Machnusson, didn’t show up. He called in sick. So then, I decided to look Mr. Machnusson up, to espy whether he was actually celebrating the holiday, or merely shirking. Let me tell you Ray, Mr. Machnusson was not merely shirking. He was celebrating. Yet Mr. Machnusson had managerial oversight of Mrs. Machnusson and all the kiddies who were busily stuffing sheep’s stomachs with herbs for supper. I did not stay for supper. Also, Mr. Machnusson had to take a nap before supper.
See. I knew it. Practically everyone got off. But not me. It’s not fair. What about you Crumby? Shall you, my bosom companion, contribute to this tale of woe?
Certainly not Ray, for an Ovate, such as me, every day’s a holiday. Consequently, I never work. Yet I do have some commentary on just how really super unfair life can be. Do we have sufficient time left on the program for that particular commentary, Ray?
Sure Crumby. Might as well.
All righty then. Life can be really super unfair. Take for example the sad case of two brothers, Peter and Andrew. Notice I spell Peter, first, even though A comes before P in the alphabet. Why do you think that is? Do you think that is really super unfair? Well, this sad case gets worse, way worse. Turns out that Andrew actually had a plant named afterthe peculiar x-shaped cross he got crucified on. Hypericum crux-andreae is the name of that plant. It’s pretty easy to espy in East Tejas. The vulgar name of that particular plant is St. Andrew’s cross. Yet get this. It has another common name. Who do you think is featured in the alternative common name? Ha! You guessed it, Peter, the very name of Andrew’s more famous older brother is featured. So this particular Hypericum is known to the vulgar as St. Peter’s- wort. However, the more learned and less vulgar usually call it St. Andrew’s cross because St. Peter’s wort can be confused with various Chlamydia infestations. See how sad this case is? I should feel really sorry for St. Andrew. In fact, I felt fairly sorry last Friday, so I took off work, as usual.
That’s it Ray, very sad and unfair.
Praise the Goddess, Ray’s Round Table is out of time. Lemme see. What is the dang topic next week? It’s either Sisterhood, Beyond Shopping, or Potential Advantages of Reversible Kilts, or Which Republican Kinglet Candidate Would You Most Like to Espy under the Rear Wheels of A Bus, Is There Too Much Competition?, or The Polar Bear Solstice, Will it Get Here, Ever?, or hold it. Time’s up.
Watch out for the Wickerman!!!!
Today’s Round Table topic is of an ecumenical nature, How Come I Didn’t Get Off Work Last Friday? First, some background. Last Friday week was St. Andrew’s Day. St. Andrew, when he was alive, did missionary work among the Scythians. Later, after he was crucified, some of his bones carried on with the missionary work in Scotland. So maybe, if I was werkin’ in the sun in Scythia, or Scotland, as opposed to the Austink vicinity, I would have got off work last Friday, maybe.
Ms. Remains, Ace Reporter for the DNS, Do you happen to know if anyone got off work last Friday in Scythia?
Why gracious sakes alive, Ray! There I was in the beautiful Scythian capital. The place was like a ghost town. Every one of those Scythians stayed home all day, praying to St. Andrew for martyrdom. Then they all ate sturgeon for supper.
That’s exactly what I thought. Nobody had to go to work in Scythia. Yet I had to go to work here. It’s not fair. What about Scotland, Dr. Pistrum? I suppose those Scots all got off too.
Not exactly Ray, Scotland was a mixed bag last Friday. Many worked, yet many called in sick, thanks to the bones. For example, the Presbyter Realty Company, Ltd. was open for business, but the janitor, Mr. Machnusson, didn’t show up. He called in sick. So then, I decided to look Mr. Machnusson up, to espy whether he was actually celebrating the holiday, or merely shirking. Let me tell you Ray, Mr. Machnusson was not merely shirking. He was celebrating. Yet Mr. Machnusson had managerial oversight of Mrs. Machnusson and all the kiddies who were busily stuffing sheep’s stomachs with herbs for supper. I did not stay for supper. Also, Mr. Machnusson had to take a nap before supper.
See. I knew it. Practically everyone got off. But not me. It’s not fair. What about you Crumby? Shall you, my bosom companion, contribute to this tale of woe?
Certainly not Ray, for an Ovate, such as me, every day’s a holiday. Consequently, I never work. Yet I do have some commentary on just how really super unfair life can be. Do we have sufficient time left on the program for that particular commentary, Ray?
Sure Crumby. Might as well.
All righty then. Life can be really super unfair. Take for example the sad case of two brothers, Peter and Andrew. Notice I spell Peter, first, even though A comes before P in the alphabet. Why do you think that is? Do you think that is really super unfair? Well, this sad case gets worse, way worse. Turns out that Andrew actually had a plant named afterthe peculiar x-shaped cross he got crucified on. Hypericum crux-andreae is the name of that plant. It’s pretty easy to espy in East Tejas. The vulgar name of that particular plant is St. Andrew’s cross. Yet get this. It has another common name. Who do you think is featured in the alternative common name? Ha! You guessed it, Peter, the very name of Andrew’s more famous older brother is featured. So this particular Hypericum is known to the vulgar as St. Peter’s- wort. However, the more learned and less vulgar usually call it St. Andrew’s cross because St. Peter’s wort can be confused with various Chlamydia infestations. See how sad this case is? I should feel really sorry for St. Andrew. In fact, I felt fairly sorry last Friday, so I took off work, as usual.
That’s it Ray, very sad and unfair.
Praise the Goddess, Ray’s Round Table is out of time. Lemme see. What is the dang topic next week? It’s either Sisterhood, Beyond Shopping, or Potential Advantages of Reversible Kilts, or Which Republican Kinglet Candidate Would You Most Like to Espy under the Rear Wheels of A Bus, Is There Too Much Competition?, or The Polar Bear Solstice, Will it Get Here, Ever?, or hold it. Time’s up.
Watch out for the Wickerman!!!!
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, December 02, 2007
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