Tees and Greens, Every Other Day
With water levels in the reservoirs dropping daily, the City of Austink has decided to limit water use on the golf courses. That’s right, the golf course responsible parties are fixing to get to water the tees and greens only every other day. Only every other day. Meanwhile, the rules for many are far more strict. Once a week, certain hours on that lone day, fines.
How shall the illegal water use perps be identified? Easy that, Austink is hiring. That’s right. Some "temporary" workers are fixing to get hired. The job is, drive around Austink, search for illegal water use perps. Once the noveau water cops find a perp, that perp may get fined $400.
Meantime, big users like TU and Lady Bird’s wildflower outfit are totally exempt. She-it! Crumby’s flora must die so that others flora may live. Pretty soon, only the grounds of public buildings and shopping malls shall be green. Yes. Anon, the citizenry shall depart for the malls not to shop, but to espy the green grass.
Hark! Droughts are temporary events. This paucity of rain and great heat is not temporary, but the emerging annual norm. Yet many may continue to cry drought, just as many cry, war. The fact is, Austink and vicinity are waxing hotter and drier, considered climatically. Similarly, the imperialist occupation of miserable Iraq is permanent. Call these drought and war. Fine.
OK. How many millions of migrants can be settled in the Colorado River watershed if we all give up some water so that the millions of newcomers may share the cool water? Well, first of all we need to make sure that only people plus our most important environmental resources, golf tees and greens, get all the water. This is called, conservation. A really efficient conservation program may assure that all the tiny bugs now stealing the human water, get no water at all. Yes. There is plenty of water out there for people if we can conserve that water so the bugs don’t get it. After we figure out how much of our water the bugs and alien Mexican plants are stealing, and plug that leak with a conservation measure, we shall then know about how much water we have to share with the thirsty migrants.
OK. How can I, Crumby, seriously conserve? OK. I figure if I convert my one plus acre to pea gravel, the water I save shall allow hundreds of migrant children at Sunset Valley Elementary to flush the commodes thousands of times. And that’s just my contribution? Think about the savings if everybody converted their yards to pea gravel or maybe Astroturf. Goodness gracious! At least a tousand or maybe two tousand flushes per converted yard.
Locked in, socked in, no way out.
Oh my goodness! Crumby almost forgot. When is the last time the LCRA dredged out one of the lakes? How deep are those lakes, really?
How shall the illegal water use perps be identified? Easy that, Austink is hiring. That’s right. Some "temporary" workers are fixing to get hired. The job is, drive around Austink, search for illegal water use perps. Once the noveau water cops find a perp, that perp may get fined $400.
Meantime, big users like TU and Lady Bird’s wildflower outfit are totally exempt. She-it! Crumby’s flora must die so that others flora may live. Pretty soon, only the grounds of public buildings and shopping malls shall be green. Yes. Anon, the citizenry shall depart for the malls not to shop, but to espy the green grass.
Hark! Droughts are temporary events. This paucity of rain and great heat is not temporary, but the emerging annual norm. Yet many may continue to cry drought, just as many cry, war. The fact is, Austink and vicinity are waxing hotter and drier, considered climatically. Similarly, the imperialist occupation of miserable Iraq is permanent. Call these drought and war. Fine.
OK. How many millions of migrants can be settled in the Colorado River watershed if we all give up some water so that the millions of newcomers may share the cool water? Well, first of all we need to make sure that only people plus our most important environmental resources, golf tees and greens, get all the water. This is called, conservation. A really efficient conservation program may assure that all the tiny bugs now stealing the human water, get no water at all. Yes. There is plenty of water out there for people if we can conserve that water so the bugs don’t get it. After we figure out how much of our water the bugs and alien Mexican plants are stealing, and plug that leak with a conservation measure, we shall then know about how much water we have to share with the thirsty migrants.
OK. How can I, Crumby, seriously conserve? OK. I figure if I convert my one plus acre to pea gravel, the water I save shall allow hundreds of migrant children at Sunset Valley Elementary to flush the commodes thousands of times. And that’s just my contribution? Think about the savings if everybody converted their yards to pea gravel or maybe Astroturf. Goodness gracious! At least a tousand or maybe two tousand flushes per converted yard.
Locked in, socked in, no way out.
Oh my goodness! Crumby almost forgot. When is the last time the LCRA dredged out one of the lakes? How deep are those lakes, really?
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, August 15, 2009
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