Holy Smoke!
The EPA is supposedly fixing to do something right here in the Republico Booblico, maybe. Whoa! Where does the EPA get off fixing to do something in a sovereign land with its own laws and shit? Ha! Actually, those EPA bureaucrats just think they may be fixing to get something done. But what they are actually fixing to do is, suck on air. Hot, polluted air. Suck on that, feds! We got the TCEQ!!!!
You may know that the Republico has its own like environmental agency, set up right after the second great secession event. That important agency was set up to make sure the Republico never necessarily had to meet pre-secession air quality standards ever. That's right. Tejas needs better air, like with more nutrients in it.
The necessity of setting up that agency, originally known as the Tejas Natural Resource Conservation Commission (TNRCC), whew!, was due to the need to appear to have an agency operating in the Republico that did something like the EPA might do. Like maybe somewhere in the Republico there might accidentally occur an unprecedented pollution event that the new agency could deal with, virtually. Yes. That’s correct. TNRCC could like investigate and then maybe apologize to the exonerated polluter and maybe present the wrongly accused polluter with a nice cash prize for putting more nutrients into the air.
Of course, many among the secesh believed that the Republico didn’t need any dang environment agency in the dern first place. But then the small government Republicans explained to the no government secesh that TNRCC was just a temporary agency mainly set up to facilitate or speed the transfer of tax dollars to local people that would be known locally as friendly, virtual bureaucrats and also local people and neighbors taking advantage of out sourcing and known as contractors. Yepper. The local talent, they explained, is your friends and neighbors, shopping by your side or shoulder to shoulder at Wal Mart. Then everybody was happy once all that got explained.
Anon, the small government Republicans made good on their promise to the secesh. That’s right. They got shut of the TNRCC, forever. Yes. The old miserable agency was totally shut down. Its offices looted. Its buildings burned. Its stationery recycled, maybe. Yes. That hated edifice of big government was gone forever, swept away in an imporant phase or spasm of the Republican revolution, just like the small government Republicans promised it would be gone, someday.
From the burnt out husk of the old, dead agency, sprang a new agency, however. Yes. The entirely new agency is similar to the old agency only better with more streamlining, less red tape, updated business cards. Hark! The all new agency is the Tejas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ). The TCEQ, the small government Republicans explain, is the next best thing to not having an agency. It’s like we get the perks of an agency, like salaries, holidays off, health insurance, but then at the same time, we keep our hands off the private enterprise system. It’s not perfect, but agencies never are. Some day though, in the not too distant future, the TCEQ, like all the other outdated vestiges of government, shall fade away. Either that or get smaller or maybe the TCEQ can out source some more jobs to your friends and neighbors. That’s right. The TCEQ shall happily out source some jobs to your friends and neighbors so that all of you, brave Tejans, shall continue happily shopping shoulder to shoulder at Wal Mart.
Say! Anybody want to talk, poultry? You may not know it, but poultry include a great many birds beside chickens. Yes. Poultry may or may not include your guinea hen, your turkey, your goose, your duck, your ostrich, your emu, uh, your pen raised varieties of wild poultry which may include your quail, your dove, your wild duck, your wild goose, your crane, your other wild bird category which may include your robin or your robin like bird also known as wild poultry.
You may know that the Republico has its own like environmental agency, set up right after the second great secession event. That important agency was set up to make sure the Republico never necessarily had to meet pre-secession air quality standards ever. That's right. Tejas needs better air, like with more nutrients in it.
The necessity of setting up that agency, originally known as the Tejas Natural Resource Conservation Commission (TNRCC), whew!, was due to the need to appear to have an agency operating in the Republico that did something like the EPA might do. Like maybe somewhere in the Republico there might accidentally occur an unprecedented pollution event that the new agency could deal with, virtually. Yes. That’s correct. TNRCC could like investigate and then maybe apologize to the exonerated polluter and maybe present the wrongly accused polluter with a nice cash prize for putting more nutrients into the air.
Of course, many among the secesh believed that the Republico didn’t need any dang environment agency in the dern first place. But then the small government Republicans explained to the no government secesh that TNRCC was just a temporary agency mainly set up to facilitate or speed the transfer of tax dollars to local people that would be known locally as friendly, virtual bureaucrats and also local people and neighbors taking advantage of out sourcing and known as contractors. Yepper. The local talent, they explained, is your friends and neighbors, shopping by your side or shoulder to shoulder at Wal Mart. Then everybody was happy once all that got explained.
Anon, the small government Republicans made good on their promise to the secesh. That’s right. They got shut of the TNRCC, forever. Yes. The old miserable agency was totally shut down. Its offices looted. Its buildings burned. Its stationery recycled, maybe. Yes. That hated edifice of big government was gone forever, swept away in an imporant phase or spasm of the Republican revolution, just like the small government Republicans promised it would be gone, someday.
From the burnt out husk of the old, dead agency, sprang a new agency, however. Yes. The entirely new agency is similar to the old agency only better with more streamlining, less red tape, updated business cards. Hark! The all new agency is the Tejas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ). The TCEQ, the small government Republicans explain, is the next best thing to not having an agency. It’s like we get the perks of an agency, like salaries, holidays off, health insurance, but then at the same time, we keep our hands off the private enterprise system. It’s not perfect, but agencies never are. Some day though, in the not too distant future, the TCEQ, like all the other outdated vestiges of government, shall fade away. Either that or get smaller or maybe the TCEQ can out source some more jobs to your friends and neighbors. That’s right. The TCEQ shall happily out source some jobs to your friends and neighbors so that all of you, brave Tejans, shall continue happily shopping shoulder to shoulder at Wal Mart.
Say! Anybody want to talk, poultry? You may not know it, but poultry include a great many birds beside chickens. Yes. Poultry may or may not include your guinea hen, your turkey, your goose, your duck, your ostrich, your emu, uh, your pen raised varieties of wild poultry which may include your quail, your dove, your wild duck, your wild goose, your crane, your other wild bird category which may include your robin or your robin like bird also known as wild poultry.
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, November 15, 2009
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