Telescope Tomfoolery, Born Again, Plus Fairies

Once an individual learns how to ride a bicycle, that individual shall always know how to ride a bicycle even after that individual is born again. Correct! Let us assume that an individual that already has considerable skill at bicycle riding dies. Then that individual is born again, into the body of a cricket. That cricket shall know how to ride a bicycle. But it can’t. Because, among other reasons, it's too little. But if there were cricket sized bicycles that particular cricket could easily ride a bicycle. An individual never forgets how to ride a bicycle.

Nor does an individual forget how to operate his telescope gear once that individual learns how to operate the gear in the first place. Like it has been many moons since Crumby got to employ his telescopes on the naked heavenly objects. Yes. Those hot naked bodies have been out there, in outer space, throbbing, pulsating, but not for Crumby. No. Generally, the skies have been cloudy, or for this reason or that excuse, Crumby has not espied many heavenly bodies lately.

But that may all change tonight. Yes. Today, Crumby may undertake a perilous journey. Long shall be that journey and arduous. But at last, after many perils and hardships, Crumby may arrive in a bucolic area, where dark skies abide. Yes. Those dark skies shall abide out there. Plus, set in those dark skies are the various hot, naked celestial bodies that shall once again reveal themselves to Crumby’s bespectacled visage.

So, what’s on Crumby’s must see list for tonight. OK. Moon sets before 10PM. That’s good. Then Crumby wishes to have a good look at M1, the famous Crab Nebula. You know, some day the Crab Nebula shall be done exploding. Yes. It shall be entirely gone. Better get a good look while you can.

After that, there’s plenty to espy in Gemini and Orion. But what Crumby is really waiting up for is Leo. That’s right. Crumby is fixing to get a good look at the Leo galaxies including some of the ones he can’t espy from the miserably light polluted CB. Also, before fickle Ogma’s rise, Virgo, the galaxy bonanza shall be up. Mercy! Plenty to espy tonight. And, it’s the same difference as riding a bicycle.

Alas, the Naked Spheres, Bodies, Gases, Effervescence, Etc. Elude Crumby Again

A tripod, as many know, features three legs. One can easily espy the characteristic three legs possessed of a typical tripod in the adjacent photograph or artist’s conception. This particular tripod also features a spreader tray attached to the three characteristic legs by brackets. In use, this tripod is supporting about 24 pounds worth of head and counter weight plus the additional mass of the telescope. So if a bracket busts, the whole shebang goes catty wampus in multiple directions pronto. Mercy!

Luckily for Crumby, when the bracket busted, the telescope was off this miserable tripod. Also, the three legs were minimally extended. So Crumby was barely able to keep the apparatus from going totally crazy or catty wampus. Could have been worse. Lots worse. Nevertheless, Crumby was fixing to head out on a long journey to dark skies when the tripod broke. Whatever was Crumby fixing to do then, now?

It’s off to Home Depot, we go. Yes. In a fit of uncharacteristic optimism Crumby decided he could actually acquire a substitute bracket and associated screws at Home Depot. Miracle of miracles, Crumby, with plenty of help, actually found some hardware that worked. There it be, fixed on the far tripod leg.

Crumby has not put any weight on his surgically repaired third leg yet. That’s because a great fog descended yesterday evening before Crumby could even set up. Yes. The skies were dark with fog last night. Too dark. So dark that the stars shineth not through the murk.

Out Crumby went afar. Back Crumby came afar. A long yet hard journey, fraught with nought.

Upon his return to the CB, Crumby was informed that the symphony was wonderful. Yes. The music was so exquisite that the audience could actually imagine a mass marriage ceremony for fairies, and those fairies capering on stage or in some proximity of the occhestra where fairies might have room to frisk about. Crumby thought about that. Hmm. Fairies don’t get married in the Repulbico Booblico. It’s illegal. Surely, had Goobner Rick the Well-Coifed known a mass fairy wedding was transpiring at the symphony, he would have put a stop to it. Why wasn’t he aware?

OK. Where do fairies fetch up on the evolutionary scale. In seminary, Crumby learned that fairies are higher than insects but slightly lower down the scale than teenagers. Which means, no way fairies are men and women eligible for marriage in Tejas.

Hold it. Crumby needs to go check up on the tripod. The recently repaired tripod has had weight or mass bearing down on it for many hours. Who knows how many? Correct. Crumby set up this morning. Now that tripod, including its surgically repaired third leg, is load bearing. How much of a load can it endure?

Later. Still upright. Praise the Goddess!